Arrested Development



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 Post subject: Arrested Development
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 8:04 am 
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I will write this for my own benefits, and for those of you who can relate, I hope this helps you. This is a reflection of my thoughts after coming home from a good night's sarging.

I am struggling to adopt a mindset of "every girl I meet, she wants to fuck me". Internalizing this will be my hardest obstacle in my inner game. My fear of fucking up the lay is burdening. I am too friendly, and afraid to pull the trigger.

I could have pulled and laid 3 girls tonight. I failed, because of logistics and fear of pulling the trigger. I just learned a week ago that about 90% of the girls out there are dying to fuck a cool guy, and that they are so rare due to the chode ratio out there. But I cannot internalize it. It's so difficult, yet so simple.

I need to let go of all negative threads in my life, and take things as it passes, drop logistically planning things. Have fun for fucks sake.

I notice my calibration towards things are improving greatly. It's like puzzle pieces inside myself clicking. I thank Arie for this. He saved me from the chode life of being a PUA.

I need to really focus on:

dropping the mentality of analyzing, and living in my head to plan things logistically. Have fun.

Do not be afraid to pull the trigger, I hate the regret, and about 9/10 times, the girl actually wants me to pull her. Why am I so afraid to use my cock on a hot white chick that wants me?

Relax on my outer game, and start internalizing and adopting a new mindset, the mindset that will calibrate best with my persona and outer game/looks.

That is all. I will keep updating this.

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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:44 am 
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A note on pulling the trigger, how often have you been rejected? Specifically recently.
The reason I ask is because A few months ago I started having a problem with it. It started when I got back into going out and approaching in both day and night after a long stint out of it due to having surgery.
I couldn't work out what the problem was. I knew they wanted me to pull the trigger, I knew I wanted to pull the trigger and I knew I was going to succeed. So what was stopping me? It wasn't the fear of getting rejected, it was something similar that between The Doc, 870 and a few others I realised.
I didn't want to risk my "reputation". This might sound odd, it does to me now, but the whole reason I wasn't doing it was simply that before surgery I was on fire with closing and because of this I had the reputation as the "guy who could" with friends. While I had no problem with being rejected because I knew it wouldn't be that bad, if I didn't get the close my reputation would suffer for it. Now, it wasn't completely ego driven, I was coaching some friends who are not successful with women. I was thinking to myself how they would feel if my reputation went, how it would affect their success rates (if I couldn't close, what chance did they have mentality in their heads).
How did I fix this, simple, I realised that nobody can have 100% success rate and if I did, I would seem out of reach for the people I was coaching. In the rare occasion I was rejected, how I reacted to that would be just as valuable to them as if I did actually close right there. It wouldn't damage my reputation either, as long as I took the rejection well and played off of it.

Madals


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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 5:30 pm 
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Beschatten, I can definitely relate. Thanks for writing this man, hope it can help us all.

Madals man, what you wrote is a pretty logical reason. And possibly very true in this case. :idea:

What do you think the reason might be of not pulling the trigger, in the case where there isnt this "reputation with girls" to protect :?:

File

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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:47 pm 
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Thanks for the insight Madals and support File.

Lately, I hook maybe about 60% of sets, and I get kisses from about 90% of them.

I don't think it's rejection, I have adopted a mindset that will get myself put into a situation that I know will be difficult for me.

I feel somewhat uncomfortable with my sexuality, like I am afraid to have sex or something. It's weird. Until about a month ago I never approached white chicks, but lately this is my only target. I think it's because I am still uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with a white girl.

I couldn't even talk to a white girl a month ago, so this is just another growing pain.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.


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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 7:11 am 
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Quote:
I feel somewhat uncomfortable with my sexuality, like I am afraid to have sex or something
Besch, hope this doesn't mess with your dynamic but I can identify with the zone you're in. Impossible is nothing when it comes to opening and calibrating, kino and a k-close. No doubt some of the HBs have been inviting you to open them. Your success rate with HBs might be working against you - I sometimes feel no compulsion to pull the trigger when it all falls into place too easily with little or no chemistry.

Always thought pick-up should never feel like you're taking roadkill back to your place.


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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 7:24 am 
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I can relate to what you're saying. It's like, it's almost too easy, and my lack of pulling the trigger may occur because it's too easy and I don't want it or don't feel ready for it.

I wouldn't say I'm really successful, but it's been such a dramatic improvement.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.


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