Hey guys, so I’ve been dating my gf for about 5 months now. We are both seniors in college and we will be graduating in less than a month! I guess this started a few days ago when I found out she got a job offer in Boston. I always knew I would end up in New York City (which is 5 hours by car, or 1 hour by plane) so I knew this was coming because the stuff she is interested in is not typically in New York. I also feel weird and slightly jealous because she just got 2 job offers and will not be unemployed like I will be!

The reality of her living in a different city has finally hit me and it’s kind of scary. We are both deeply in love with each other and we had a conversation yesterday that we would make it work. Its going to be a big change from living 2 min away from each other to being 5 hours away. We are not too far from each other to make it impossible, but I can’t help but look into the future. Does one of us have to eventually move? Will I be able to make this work?

Today we had an interesting conversation. We like to take time to truly express our emotions and see if there are any issues between us because we like to be honest as possible. My gf brought up the fact that it was really difficult and strange to be leaving college. Like I said before we acknowledged that we would do everything we could to stay together. However, she mentioned that we might eventually break up. She said she totally did not want to break up with me, but she wanted to put it out there that it was a possibility so we wouldn’t so shitty if we ever did. This was a surprising comment, but I kind of agree with it. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to break up, but from my comments above there are prob some hints at it. Anyways I may be overthinking this but I can’t help it. I wanted to see how any other guys dealt with LDRs, how they felt, how it ended up, etc. Thanks so much for your help!

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I was in a long distance relationship (LDR) for almost a year - I ended it a few months ago. I live in Montreal and her in Chicago. Im trying hard to think of some advice I can give you through my experience. There really is no magic formula, and well basically, if you were to compare the lifestyle of a single person, a commited person, or someone in a LDR, being in a LDR really sucks. You basically get the one thing that every man hates about a relationship, and the girl gets the thing she loves most- i.e. talking on the phone.

Of course I'm talking about a generic LDR relationship, but once you throw in specific circumstances it could be worth it. Consider

1)how high quality is the girl - She has to be reeeaaally high quality for it to be worth it, trust me. My ex was. And I would believe you if you said your gf is.

2)how much you don't mind talking on the phone, webcam, chatting.... Normally I find those things awfull, but with my ex is wasn't that bad. Bareable

3) how much you are in the mood to be single - this is what ultimitaly killed it for me. My ex was super high in quality, I mean a real sweetheart, but I couldn't fight off my urges to let 'do my own thing'. It sucked, really, but I did what I had to do.

Anyways dude, you're young and with a LDR theres no such thing as casually dating someone, or even a relationship thats exclusive, but not very intense. Is that what you want (a LDR = a very serious relationship)?
If you said 'yes', prepare to talk to her everyday and listen to her complain about things and ask you questions about how your day went. ugh.. have fun

Oh, a plus side to LDR is since guys aren't that far from each other, so you can meet up fairly often and when you do, trust me its amazing (not just because of physical things) but you never fall into mundane, routine bf/gf lifestyles that get stale eventually.

I locked this thread for double-posting.

Continue the discussion here: calling-all-long-distance-relationship- ... 44371.html

Your boy,
870

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