There is no spoon... The game is an illusion



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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 8:19 pm 
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Another one of Ezos little realization stories.

Now, I guess the headline got everybodys attention. Before you get too exited I want you to read on and realize that I do not mean that pick-up doesnt work. Of course it works but not for the same reasons you may have believed when you first bought that copy of the Game.
I love the game, I love pickup, I love sarging, why on earth would I claim it to be an illusion?

The Pickup Gurus like Style and Mystery (most of the people here follow their teachings) are selling you the easy path to success. At least thats what you think that they do. (Sorry Style, sorry Mystery, lots of love to you guys!) In the end you realize that both of these gurus are really trying to set you on the right path, they are giving you a training program. The latest pieces of material from Mystery is way better than the original one btw...

Anyway, I imagine that some of you guys stood in the bookstore with a copy of The Game or the Venusian Arts in your hands wondering if it would be worth those dollars to buy it. You bought it and it blew your mind, it made sense. You realized that here are some guys who have the secret to the female heart. They can do it so why not me. All I have to do is to study the material, copy what they do and all shall be well. You spend hours and hours studying routines, openers, material, practice bodylanguage and spend money on peacocking stuff.
You have at your disposal the guide to picking up women, it is so easy, how could you ever fail???

First time in the field you realize that oh, I can talk to women, I have interesting stuff to say. Maybe you got a numberclose. Still it feels awkward... Next time you repeat all the routines and it feels good. You start collecting routines but worry about when people will recognize the things you say from the book.
You start writing your own stories, you come up with new routines, finally you can feel safe, now its easy, noone can recognize those stories!

But hey, they could still think that you sound like you are merely repeating the same stuff over and over. You got to work on your delivery, the way you talk, move and present yourself! You practice and on the way you start just adding DHV spikes into your normal conversation, you realize that sometimes you did not use some routine since you did not need to. Your flufftalk has become a way of hiding DHV spikes. You realize that you dont have any routines anymore, you know your own material so well that you only tell the most important parts of it. It changes from time to time. Now its easy, you can improvise...

But hey, Now that you do not use routines anymore have you gone back to being an AFC? Complete AFC reversal? Have you lost your touch? You start reading about inner game, about bodylanguage and about having an attractive lifestyle and attitude. That stuff is difficult, so many teachers, so many exercises, NLP and other stuff seems so difficult. After a while you have installed a lot of "programs" into your head, you have conditioned yourself for all kinds of situations. You have got the concept of inner game and you play the part of the cool guy. Everything is fine you feel safe, this is easy.

But man, if you have stopped using routines are you still a PUA? Are you still a player, you just do the same things that you used to do back in your AFC days... The difference is that now it seems to work for you. You pick-up without meaning to, you just feel what is right to say and what not. It all goes automatically, you do not even think about all those things that you memorized. You are unstoppable.

Then you realize, maybe this is where you wanna be, you can be yourself again but now, you old self has been replaced with a new version of yourself. What has changed, a lot of things. Can you put your finger on it? No. Do you still have these mental blocks that were holding you back before? No. Is that because you have done all the NLP exercises, learned all the routines, understood the gamestructure? No.

You have evolved.


To the point. The "Game" as they call it is sold as a fast and easy solution to all your female problems. But it is so much more. It is hidden and you can only realize it if you want to, if you put effort into it. What they are really selling you is a carefully hidden training program.
Style gave you the training schedule, Mystery handed you your running shoes, Juggler gave you the homegym and DDA sold you the gympass. All hidden in the seductive package.

Repeating all those routines was never the point, learning the negs was never the solution. The point of all those things was to get you started and give you the means to exercise your social muscles. While you were out there thinking that you were gaming you were actually taking your personality through an extreme workout session. Experience gave you the results. Experience trained you in social interaction. Your mental blocks were destroyed by the mere fact that you faced your fears and overcame them.


There is no fast and easy way to mastery, there is no way to avoid the pain. But if you come out on the other side and do not turn back before you are ready, the rewards are all you could ever wish for.

The gurus told you over and over but most likely you did not listen. They told you that it is about building a life, about having an attractive lifestyle, an attractive attitude, confidence, inner game... Most likely you were focusing on the new cool routines at the time. No shame in that. You were not ready to hear it at the time. You have to go through all the steps in the process in order to learn all that you need. Everybody does it, everybody has suffered, everybody must learn the hard way.



The game is an illusion, there is no such thing as a simple solution, the game is a process. Whether you reach your goal by the M3 model, DDA, Speed seduction, natural game or just life experiences you have got there by training. The Game is just a very efficient workout plan.



Get out there and get some exercise!

Ezo


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 8:28 pm 
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I have realized this recently the more you train and grow the less you resemble a pua, people start saying you are a natural etc then when you think about it you realize you end up doing little to nothing other than just becoming a cool guy who carries himself well.

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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 8:57 pm 
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This is a good analogy Ezo. I think just like there are many different ways to attain that sculpted body so many people crave, or the big muscles that guys want to impress chicks, there are many ways to develop the social muscles and training to be seductive to women.

You know a guy who has done a great job of working out and excercising because it looks like he's just naturally that good looking and built. That's exactly what Jaybot is talking about with people thinking you're naturally talented with women; you've developed your core rather than just looking like you've made superficial modifications. This is kinda like the difference between plastic surgery and a well earned body, or a few corny lines and a well developed and intriguing personality.


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 9:33 pm 
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Rye Lee, thats very true. Just like some guys just train their biceps, some PUAs only stick to routines... And people see through both...


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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 1:17 pm 
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This post is awarded 5 stars from myself.


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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 3:52 pm 
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Great outlook man. I totally agree. I only really stopped being reliant at all on routines a few months ago. I never use negs or time constraints either.

I think there is a slight danger that you could reverse back into 'AFC mode', as you mentioned, and as both Mystery and Style mention too. But this is no big deal once you've seen things from the other side.

It's like recently I haven't really sarged at all. Last few weeks most days I've gone climbing and doing parkour; mainly my wings and I (we're great friends) have been pushing limits in terms of jumps and heights. A precision jump onto a thin wall where if you fall you'll break your leg, for instance. It was funny, because I was telling my wing at the time, I would happily approach a 10-set of HB10's right now wit NO AA but this jump is giving me bare AA! Then you jump it, you make it, you overcome it, and you're more at one with yourself and your environment.

All these things make us who we are, more confident in ourselves and thus more capable social beings.


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PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2009 2:15 pm 
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Intresting post, i just think pick up is about having balls to get out there and say whats in your mind cause chances are there thinking the same thing and being concious of whats around you how you can work around it then growing social skills and confidence through experiance. its wierd im not even sure this stuff is needed when you get out there you can tell if your saying a dhv or dlv, you can open with anything, you can tell if your confortable with the girl and you can tell if your building kino with her and many other things its all natural instinct right? however i think that the progression model helps alot of people then again some people say you dont need some steps or you can miss some so maybe thats not needed ethier?

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