Recently I have been doing some research on an interesting theory called The Eligible Bachelor Paradox. This theory has its roots in game theory but has a unique spin. It begs the question, "why are there no more good men left on the market once we get older?" Consider this fable:

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To start off I need to define two terms that I will be using:
1. strong bidder- strong bidders are socially desired women (they are attractive, exude youth, display energetic charm etc...).
2. weak bidders- weak bidders are less attractive and less socially attractive than the strong bidders.

Okay so you are probably wondering what is up with the odd titles, why not just call them hot women or not hot women....well that is because this theory relates the interactions between men and women like an auction. And for the sake of this theory, it is understood that the end-game is marriage (not just a fling) and that women are the bidders (women get to accept or reject the proposal and because women get to ultimately decide, they are the bidders). *This has its inherent flaws but try to look past that*

So why is it that socially desirable women can't find a high value man as they enter their late 20s early 30s? The answer according to this theory is that there aren't any high value men left at that age. Now before you get your panties in a twist, let me explain....

Strong bidders, or socially desired women know that they are hot and know that they have a lot to offer so 1) they know if they turn down a guy, it probably won't be the last guy to ever approach them, and 2) they aren't going to settle for someone that is less than their perceived awesomeness. Additionally, if Ms. Attractive meets a great guy that is funny, good looking, and can cook she will be less enamored than the weak bidder (who has a lower perception of herself). Two things happen if a guy shows interest in a weak bidder: 1) she scoops him up because she can't guarantee another suitor will come along...so she acts more aggressively to get the guy than the strong bidder 2) she also perceives that guy as higher value than the strong bidder that turned him down.

So what does this all mean? It means that the good guys are taken off the market by the weak bidders at a younger age, and the more attractive ones age in loneliness.

But we also know that the divorce rate in the United States is 50%. So a bunch of those valuable men will re-enter the dating pool, and theoretically, the strong bidders, in the age of desperation will scoop them up, right? Wrong....” As those strong-bidders age their looks and energetic charm are replaced with professional skills, stability, and ambition (presuming those are positive qualities). But it is hard to argue that our male-driven system values those attributes more than they do the vibrancy of youth. Men become stronger bidders as they age while women become weaker bidders. So you are left with three groups of older women 1. the weak bidders that are happily married to these guys, 2. the weak bidders that already divorced these guys, and 3. the strong bidders who haven't been married, but are no longer desired by these high value men.

Now I know this theory has some basic flaws, but it is something to think about....how do you get the high value women to say yes to you. Is it the fault of males everywhere who commit to the lower, yet more more aggressive bidders? Is it the weak bidders' fault for being aggressive which led the guy to marry the wrong person in the first place? (rhetorical questions btw)

Oh and in case you were wondering, of course there is a wife store to go with the new husband store....

The Wife Store:
A man goes to the Wife store:
The 1st floor sign reads: These women are amazing in bed.
He decides to push his luck a bit and goes up the 2nd floor
The 2nd floor sign reads: These women are great cooks and are amazing in bed.
So he buys a wife and on checkout asks the clerk what's on the 3rd floor. The clerk says: nothing, we've never seen anyone try to go past the 2nd.

Interesting Point.

Let's debate

I agree with you that a strong bidder is much less likely to settle into marriage than a weak bidder.

But, the strong bidders value as marriage material maxes out around the age 24 or 25. The strong bidders value then plateaus and slowly declines from age 26 to 30. At 31 decline begins in ernest, and by 36 you can put a fork in her!!!

Men, on the other hand, can slowly gain value as they gather wealth and power in later years.

Men are much, much more likely to date younger women than vice-versa. A guy in his 30's can date a girl 10 years younger then him. That means there is a lot of competition for the 23 to 28 age set of women.

Additionally, the older guys, who have more value because of their wealth, power, fame, (and carefully mastered PUA theory ), are at the same time less likely to get married because of the risks associated with getting divorced and losing wealth.

I think it's more of the two way street, where the best looking women are dating the guys that are least likely to get married. By the time the best looking women are done with dating they are in their mid-30's and do not have the value they once enjoyed.

Also, I challenge the basic assumption that there are many more "strong bidders" compared to eligible bachelor's. Women are much better at hiding fundamental flaws than men are.

The one constant on all the levels of the Man Store is having a job. A woman can find out if a guy is marriage material quickly. But it may take a guy months or years of being with a woman to expose the emotional or personality issues that disqualify her from marriage. This means that a lot of women who are hot and good in the sack - who meet the "strong bidder" criteria - are not really marriage material anyway.

This has been fun to think about, bonita. Thanks for bringing it up!

I've noticed that there seems to be intense social (and maybe biological???) pressure on women to get married by 30. Because once they reach 30 they transform into old maids. Or something... Maybe you can explain it.

I never really understood it, but at the same time I feel that pressure as well... I'm 24 and some of my friends are married... On the other hand, some are also now divorced... lol

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"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." - Mohandas Gandhi

If we want to be fair, women do have the same level of greed as of men.

Keeping with the trading analogy, most people want more than their perceived worth can buy, which has an effect that the bid-ask spread is wide as the grand canyon and the market is hardly volatile.

That is essentially the problem.

The 'weak' bidders are essentially the market makers because the strong bidder keep placing their orders out of the market. Essentially, when people place their orders out of the market range, they are told so but not just when it comes to love. Sex, on the other hand, is a perfectly tradeable service providing you find the correct exchange venue.

So basically love is like a government bond. Non volatile with low growth, and not attractive. Not everyone goes for it, and some would rather keep their cash in their savings account which loses even more so because of inflation. Which is what strong bidders do because they cant even get their order hit.

And why do they do so? Because people are stupid.

I see what your saying B, but to be fair I have seen plenty of high value men with high value women, low value men with high value women and all the combinations.
Why would the high value man NOT get the "strong bidder"? sure, most will quit with the hard work because they can't simply walk into the room and have her infatuated with him but if these men are high value then they would likely get what they want through doing what they need to?
Madals

Of course there are high value men with high value women. But I don't think that is the majority. And I think it is easiest to comprehend by reading those anecdotes. For men, the high value woman was on floor two. They were happy with that and did not find the need to search beyond that. They knew they had someone good and swiped her off the market. The women however kept going up a floor. There is no doubt that the men on the previous floors were good, but the they just had to see what else was out there.

A high value man won't settle for less than he is worth. A high value woman won't settle for less than she is worth. However, the theory suggests that men know when to stop pushing the envelope and know when to settle, while women will not be satisfied "the most awesome, perfect, one of a kind, all-inclusive man".....but since there are flaws in everyone that is not possible. Low bidders on the otherhand see these amazing guys (that the high bidders turn down in hope of something better) and the low bidders valuation of these guys is much much higher because they have a lower self-image. Then they think, "oh snap, it isn't going to get much better than this! I better scoop him up because i don't know if I will be able to attract a guy like this again!" And thus HB-low bidder gets the guy.

But your assuming the high value women can only have one guy
In the real world your said high bidder would get with the 1st floor perfect guy and take him on a date to the second floor where she would ditch him for the next model up. This process would continue until she couldn't get a better guy for her.
Men do they same, they will keep looking at better and better. This is when two people of equal standards get together, because neither can do any better than the other.
Would you not say that is far more likely to happen in the real world than these men and women simply walking past the 9/10 and ignoring them because their not perfect?

I think that valyx has the right idea. People believe that there are no "good" mates available because they have a high-skewed perception of the average quality of available mates. This should not be an excuse for people to settle. "Settling" implies a low-skewed perception of the average quality of available mates.

The answer, in my opinion, is a rigorous shakedown of societal relationship "game theory" that results in people generating more realistic evaluations. Pickup is a stepping stone across that pond. It helps men to communicate a more accurate portrayal of their actual value. It's only 1/4 of what's needed, though. Both men and women need to portray themselves more accurately and both men and women need to be more realistic in their assessment of the "market."

Remember, one of the necessary conditions of a functional market is "perfect information" (or, the better the availability of information, the better the market functions.) Current dating dynamics seem to encourage people to hide information, which leads to inefficiencies in the market. (Divorce is the most obvious example.)

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Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea

All I will say is that the numbers are against you as an American man living in America. You are so screwed if you are a straight male in America If only you guys knew! And no, Denmark and Sweden are not much better. Now, there are lands where the girls are young, beautiful, poor and are looking at years of getting the crap beaten out of them by guys with shaved heads, tracksuits, and no money. The more you see the real world the more you wonder at the paradox of it all.