there's this girl who I almost got started with a few months back but then I moved away and she got a bf etc. etc. I was an orbiter for a while cause when I'd go back home we'd hang out. She kept on telling me though that she "didn't want to get attached to me". Note that I never made a move on her because I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for a relationship with her (I know she wouldn't be into anything casual). She was a little melodramatic and made it seem like it was really hard to not be able to be with me.

Being the pessimist that I am, I took this as her wanting to keep me around as an orbiter. I'm sure she thinks she cares about me but really I think she just wants me around for some sort of self-assuring ego boost. I've been avoiding her and cutting off contact with her for the last couple weeks but now I've got a new plan...

Until I decide whether I want a relationship with her (there's some other things in my life I'm working out right now), she's got this lame boyfriend who I'm sure I can outgame when the time comes. But I'm too proud to be seen as an orbiter and boost her ego.

So...I was considering giving her the LJBF speech and then make HER the orbiter. But maybe I'm just doing this cause my pride is a problem and I like to "win". She was the last one to express an interest in me as more than friendship so next time she wants to hang out, I was thinking of telling her I just want to be her friend. I won't slip into the friend zone because all of our interactions are flirty and sexual.

I guess I just like to be in control...anyways let me know what you guys think.

Looks like an attempt to disguise a oneitis post to me. It appears she's already put you in the friend zone, but i guess if you want to verbally state it to her and give yourself the false belief that you put her in the friend zone 1st, then by all means go right ahead.

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hmm touche.. I didn't notice this but you're probably right. So I guess what I'm doing is unhealthy? Would the better option be to cut her out completely or to just outgame her boyfriend and face potential rejection... decisions decisions... any insight?

I focus on initial friend zone prevention example when you first meet the girl, once your in already in the zone it can be a rough time wasting experience. You can make your move on her you've got nothing to lose really. I suggest you get some other women in the mean time so you won't be too affected by total rejection if that's the case.

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