...I tend to trip, fall, and only then make that next step. What I mean is this: The first # pull I did through PUA was important to me. So important, that in the end, though she was a 7 or so, I lost attraction. Then came my first 8, a hired gun at that! Again, so nervous about the whole thing that I screwed it up as well. Today, neither would be a problem.

Now I find myself having picked up a 9 over the weekend, having spent a few hours in the club with her, ULTRA dhv spiked (best work I've ever done), and had her invite me out (which I had to decline) but now I anxiously await her response to the text I sent earlier today. That anxiousness, the desire for me to continually check my cell phone (though I resist it) is the red flag of neediness. Am I going to blow it, like I did every other time I transgressed to more attractive girls? Well, something is different this time.

Having noticed this behavior as a pattern helps. Objectifying it, making it logical (I know eventually 9s will be the norm, just like the 8s and 7s became) and I know that even if I mess this one up, at least I'm closer to getting it right. I believe this is what Eckhart Tolle calls "making space" etween yourself and the emotion. Create a distance between the emotion (the neediness) and you as the passive observer. Though this isn't a 100% cure (if you were 100% with that you'd be considered enlightened by most eastern standards) it helps.

Can anyone relate to any of this?

Beware the day when you no longer feel eager and excited because upon that day all the work you've done will lose meaning to you and you will be an emotionless, detached, robot. Don't mistake excitement and positive emotions for neediness, it's a common mistake and is precisely why so many good people become creepy PUA robot weirdos.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Yeahh... I am starting that unneediness, unexciteness when i pick up girls now. I never realized this til now. You know how your first pick up or attempt. Everything was like fresh in your memory, You go through what had happened throughout the day. Your so excited of that adrenaline rush you experienced. You think what you did wrong or what you thought your positive points were. But now, I feel like I don't even get excited anymore.
I see a girl, get her number and like i forget that i had picked her up after a couple of hours.
I have girl's numbers that i forgot to call or text for like a whole week.
Anyone know what I'm going through...?

Gentlemen, I appreciate your concerns. However, I assure you, it is not that. It is merely that I become needy, nervous and lack confidence on the onset of higher game.

My text hasn't been returned, and it is bothering me. She could be busy, she could be out of the country, etc. But none of that matters because emotionally I was worried (why I sent the text) and now I'm worried that the text was no good. This is typical for me when I'm in this state. Ugh... can't wait till this phase passes.

You don't get it... What I'm saying is that that is perfectly normal and you should feel that way because that indicates you care. People spout crap about not being outcome dependent all the time and then guys start to think that means they shouldn't feel the way you do, when the way you feel right now is exactly how you should feel, or else there's really no point in pursuing a relationship because you don't care about it. Obviously you don't want to be so focused on the outcome that you can't think about anything else, but the fact that you know you are just being silly and overthinking things means that you're perfectly fine and acting normally.

I still feel exactly how you described whenever I send a text to a girl I'm interested in. The day I stop feeling that way is the day I know I'm not myself anymore. Wondering whether you did good and what she's thinking just means that you care and if you don't care, then obviously she's not worth it.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Rye,

I am still very new to the game and I somewhat see where you are coming from. I'd really like to give you a more solid response but I believe it is still too early in my development to say too much other than: Thank you! Hearing your take on it made this mini-experience a bit more human.

From what I can take from your statement, I was surprised to hear that you still get anxious when sending a text? I'd assume at some point you'd assume that "of course" you'll get the response?

There is an easy solution..

Have multiple girls. One of the biggest steps in the evolution of my text game was having a bunch of women at various stages of relationships.

That way, you aren't waiting around for that one little text response. If she doesn't answer, you got 3 other girls blowing up your cell...

_________________
Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
How did I get here? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15297

Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241

Totally, this will definitely get rid of most of that feeing of anticipation and anxiousness (not anxiety, just anxiousness, big difference).

Minor, the reason I haven't really gotten rid of that feeling though is because I don't really take this approach. Everyone is different, some guys like having a whole bunch of different girls who they enjoy being around and some guys like having one girl that they have a solid connection and serious feelings for. I fall into the latter category and tend to be monogamous when in relationships, although when not in a relationship I don't restrict myself to only one girl, but in that case I don't have any serious feelings for the girls I'm seeing and they're pretty much just cool girls that I'd consider friends (or maybe even less) who I have sex with.

There's no "right" way, but even guys who are running multiple relationships have told me that when they really feel something for a girl, then they get those feelings of nervousness and whatnot even though they have 2 or 3 other girls they're going out with. Usually those end up being the girls that they ditch all their other relationships for because they finally lose interest in anyone aside from her. Often those guys end up leaving "the game" because they suddenly change their perspective and don't see how to function as they once did and don't consider themselves PUAs anymore. I don't consider myself a PUA now, so I don't have that issue when I get into serious relationships.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Brad,

Agreed. That works to an extent (the problem is she's the only 9 in my line up and that distinguishes her from the rest. Like I said, first 9 I've gamed since my ex). However, does that change anything? I can understand using this type of method as a stepping stone, but it seems to me that relying on other girls texts to forget about another single girl is still a form of external validation. Or taking state from your environment (Yes, just finished Blue Print for the second time )

Interesting. Nice reading that and see how those (who I believe to be) more advance then me feel on the topic.

I started seeing results pretty quick. But I also never really had serious AA. Go out, 2x a week (at least) and do approaches and you'll start seeing results in 1-3 months. Im at about month 7 or 8 and I'm just starting to scratch the surface of where it is I want to be with women. Im sure in a year from now, I'll be saying the same thing as my standards continually improve