This girl nicknamed BabyGirl. I would have to text her to initiat the conversation. Also, we made plans to meet up this saturday but then at the last moment she said she had to go to a birthday party that she forgot. My ass she did.

I kept on getting this funny feeling I was being played. She told me next sunday would be fine - but my guess is another attempt to play me.

This feeling of being played kept on eating away with me and I was like fuck this chick.

I wrote her a txt telling her if she's gonna keep up playing games then she's a waste of time and it was her loss for not knowing a great guy.

She wrote back, "I'm still in bed."

Is this just another way to shift blame on the person or is she being legit. I'm ready to move on and I'm not gonna be played like a pawn.

However, I don't know if it's me but the anxiousness of feeling being played made me more insecure. However, if she was into me - she'll be texting and not have me start the txt. So, this confused signals got me confused so I came here to get advice.

I personally don't think she was interested. Some of the girls on myspace told me she's just being a bitch and that I should move on. So what do you guys think?

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Talk to more than 1 girl so you don't feel at such a loss if one doesn't work out.

If I was you, I'd delete her number and let her re-engage the convo once shes done playing games. If she doesn't re-engage then she wasn't interested.

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Yeah, totally - I did that and for some reason I felt the loss then I added her back in. But I'm not gonna do that again. I've been talking to other girls also. But I really wanted to fuck this weekend. LOL!

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Move on. Seems like she is going to continue this fooling around with you. Again, if you feel that this situation is eating you away, just move on, find other women who aren't like this one.

I agree - I'm wondering if it was my instincts that was making me feel this way - you know? I knew something wasn't right. But again, i didn't want it to be paranoia. It happened to this one girl I was chatting with because I was starting to feel really close then I got the feeling again of being played. Like something wasn't really right then she opened up the can of beans she's tired of using people and such when I got tough on her.

Also, i do noticed I have my attention on being played so I'm getting girls that do that. Funny huh? It's like a self - proclaim prophecy.

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Good advice; Don't get too hung up on one girl.
Shift your attention, it's she that wants you. And you know it.

If she acts immature, freeze out, then reestablish contact later on.
If she continues to play next weekend, and tries to hook you up for another day, make sure you have plans that day (or make the plans right after she's given her option and give her another day that you will be free, and let her make the decision.), make her realize that you're not some lapdog waiting for her, you actually have a life outside her.

She wants to have control over you; take it away.

Don't let one chick decide what and when you will be allowed to go out and have fun, get laid etc.
If she continues the BS, just cut her loose and move on.

I like your post wolf. I think I've been her lap dog for a while now. That's also my problem is that I've become too caring and then a lap dog. I was talking to Solomen II and it makes sense. I don't know how to shut off the not caring part. It's a function that gets in my way times - alot of times. Also, i notice like if I send a girl a message and other girls as well and they don't respond. I get all anxious and start thinking I fucked up.

I went out today to go for groceries and had fun. I think being cramped inside the damn apartment all day kinda gets me bonkers.

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Stealth7 maybe you should try and not give a shit when it comes to girls? I know it may seem bad to give a guy that is down such advice, but you said you have this caring side that gets in the way. And I think if you focus on not giving a shit about the girl until she gives you reason to, I think you may solve your problem. When I say until she gives you a reason to, what I mean by that is that when she is actually honestly interested in you and is not playing games or making you call her or what ever. Basically she has shown or proven her self or "qualified" her self to you. This is based upon the "reward system" the PUA community has, where you reward the girl for good behavior and punish for bad behavior.

As far as this BabyGirl goes. Drop her and find more girls to go out with. Never put up with the mind games. You basically called her out on it and her interest (I would have respond not so nicely with the "I'm still in bed" text"), and so its up to her to stop her games.

You know what's weird is somehow I got in this mood of just having fun no matter what. She and I are texting back and forth. She's laughing and told me she likes my humor. So, I think it was that I jumped in seduction mode right away but now I've went down in attraction mode then building up from there. Entering seduction mode without attraction isn't very good I found out. It's more enjoyable now and now if she doesn't respond it's cool - I know she's busy because she told me she's a busy person.

Also, i noticed that I haven't gave her a reason enough to keep on talking to me until now. So, I've toggled some of those attraction switches and hit them hard, so she'll be more excited to talk.

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Bull crap. Even if a person is busy they will MAKE time to talk to or see/date the person they are interested in. The fact that she isn't making the time to really do this, says that she is not that interested in you.
I may be wrong but wouldn't it be better for it to be the other way around?

Hey, man, another good advice, it's helped me a lot:
Don't assign meaning to it if she doesn't answer or stuff.
Remember, you never know what her reasons are.

For all you know she may have drowned her phone while texting you while she was lying in the bath tub, playing with herself and thinking about you, or something. hehe...

It helps to remove the whole tendency of trying to read the minds of people.


I've found that I allow some slack in people, since I know I may do stuff like that myself.
Sometimes I might read a txt while preoccupied, and I forget to answer.
It happens.

it helps to not get too attached to the outcomes, reactions or lack of reactions.
It's better than getting emotional without having the background to understand how and why she reacted the way she did or didn't.

Yeah, i just put in a positive reinforcer that she'll respond and on the mean time i find other girls to chat with. I was talking to my therapist and he and I agreed that in my past events that the reason why I put so many defense barriers is that I've shitty experiences with people. Now, it's about regaining the interactions into more positive.

So, i'm eventually gonna do that by restating positive affirmations. BUt she's flirting back like I told her, "I'll talk to you later sexy!" she wrote back, "Okay babe!" before she didn't do that so - it's good! I think she wanted to know that I was gonna not leave her because she has a 3 yr old daughter. Also, depending on her divorce it could caused more scars that have to be dealt with you know.

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Your last post reads well. . .

I'm sure you know just how powerful you can be but sometimes you don't give yourself the credit. Through only written words, you can get a girl to literally jump up and down. You could get her to eat a sandwich. You can get her to laugh, to cry . . and of course you can get her to text you back with positive messages. You know you can do all of this. And as long as you use your "power" for positive results, this is all a good thing . . .

There is however something you can't control . . . and that's time + exact map of HOW things will work. If you had 10 years to figure out how to fly an airplane, do you think you can do it? Of course . . . how about 5 years? . . . How about 1 hour? Some things simply take time. So you just have to sit back, realize that you have this power and just laugh and have fun through the process. And you might learn a certain maneuver while on your 50th hour while your instructor is looking the other way. Maybe on the 150th hour during bad weather conditions . . . the point is you WILL learn.

Even though we try to cover all the scenarios so that we are better "prepared" for anything that may happen, there is no way in hell that we can know EVERYTHING that will happen in the future just based on past experiences. This is what makes life fun. We're living in constant state of dynamic changes. So the "road" there will always be different and the time it takes will always be different.

Throughout the "process", this girl didn't initiate text. (A certain girl I knew did initiate text and called me an ugly animal with no humanity . . ha ha ha . . remember that?)

Ha ha ha. . . just laugh your way through it man. And remember this one. Remember the course of the way this particular situation worked out. In hindsight, I bet you're even chuckling at yourself the way you reacted only a few days ago. Make this hindsight, "foresight" for your next encounters.