....it also sucks to be rejected. But you learn more from you mistakes than your successes.

You cannot completely control other people's actions, thoughts, or responses, but you can control yours. If you get turned down by someone, you have two choices: 1) you can sulk and think you are inferior/they are crazy or 2) you can view it as a chance to improve. In a crazy mixed up kind of way, the people that reject you are helping you. They let you know where you went wrong or simply that what you were doing didn't work. And from there you can alter something in you game whether it be that you need to act with more confidence, you have to give more space, or less space. This is if you are constantly getting turned down. Obviously not everyone is compatable witheveryone else, so if you have no real problem attracting people but strike out here and there, that is ok. I am not saying you should make a drastic change, but looking at it positively is still a must.

Don't get me wrong, getting turned down sucks....but sulking over it does nothing for you. All the best used to be horrible with women and they are now the best because they failed. Instead of letting it hurt them, they used those experiences like trial and error. You control how you perceive situations, so why not make it a positive experience.

It does suck... just 2 days ago I've been rejected by a girl who gave me signs of interests. I went out with her on New Year's and managed to kiss her and I thought that this was a wonderful night cause she was happy, therefore I was happy too. But, the day after, I messaged her saying I enjoyed that night...looking forward to seeing her later and what she replied to me was that she didn't want to hurt my feelings and said that she wasn't interested in dating or a relationship. (I know she's been really hurt in the past relationship, because she told me that maybe that's why, but who knows I can't read their minds)

and you're right I can view it as a chance to improve... thanks for this topic it helped me out.

Bonita!!! way to take notes in chat i'm proud of you

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan


This is true, you always learn through your mistakes.

"Feedback versus Failure. There is no such thing as failure, only results. These can be used as feedback, helpful corrections, a splendid opportunity to learn something your had not noticed. Failure is just a way of describing a result you did not want. You can use the results you get to redirect your efforts. Feedback keeps the goal in view. Failure is a dead end. two very similar words, yet they represent two totally different way of thinking." - Introduction to NLP

Simply you cant think of rejection or a failure as a negative thing, its just an experience that is gona help you be better next time you'll be placed in a similar situation. Learn from your mistakes and dont give up on your goal.

Yep, you have to take every failure as a learning experience. You can even put a positive spin on it. "I didn't get the girl? Then I must've done something wrong." You just gotta think about how the interaction was going, when it went bad, and figure out your mistake. Now you know never to do that behavior or give that response again. Learning from your mistakes can only increase your success rate.

Before you make that conclusion it might help to try things several times. Not all girls are the same, so they won't all respond the same. Find out if it that particular girl, type of girl, situation, or location that impacted your results. If you get the same response across the board, then you know...

Bonita you are awesome.

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"And yay God said to Abraham, taketh thy herb and with fire consume it, for it is the dankest of dank. Seriously Abe, you gotta try this shit. I'm baked off my ass right now" - Luke 4:20

Big thanks to bonita.
This is a very nice post, just what i needed recently.
I've suddenly stopped seeing this one "perfect" girl i thought she was for me.
And I took the blame on myself for not being good enough or acted properly.
For that reason i kinda threw my game away or started being shy on girls in other words.
But hey, this post will help me out alot

Once again big THANKS to bonita and everyone in the community

Right. Context is something you should always be taking into account anyway.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

this michael jordan quote is almost perfect. i got rejected not to long ago and its kinda like a slap in the face, but a slap in the face that makes u realize what you did wrong. sure if sucks but thats where u turn around and say whooops my bad and just go out and do your thing and change your game up alittle bit.

Who is the only guy who goes out and never gets rejected?

The chode hanging out in the corner with his drink pressed up against his hand.

In the long term... The more you get the rejected. The more you get LAID.

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Real Social Dynamics Executive Coach

Who is BRAD-? http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=35212
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Let's be Facebook friends!!! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602439241

Ditto. I have this problem with turning any woman with an attraction to me into a oneitis scenario. I don't know why. I get attached too easily. Ultimately I end up shooting myself in the foot. Happened again last week. I feel awesome today.... it's a new week!

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"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." - Mohandas Gandhi

Man, what if one is scared of their own feelings? So much so that you put gaming to the side.

I'm cool with rejection, as long as I'm not too much into the girl, it's the girls that I think are good prospets, good potentail mates, etc., and you start to fall for them, that those hurt alot.

This is one of the first glimpses of truth you see when you start doing game.

It will always be somewhat of a numbers game. You can increase your odds dramatically through skillset, inner psychology and lifestyle. But you will NEVER get every girl. Some girls are married, some love their boyfriends, some are lesbians, some are just out of a bad breakup.

But guess what? You CAN meet a nonstop stream of attractive girls you are really compatible with. I.E Hot girls you get a long with... It's the best thing ever. Way better than getting every girl, and any girl you don't actually like. Trust me I've done the research

So stop looking to be "perfect" or escape blowouts. Blowouts are a good thing, they save you time.

S

Right on. If you can't escape it, embrace it. There are positive sides to everything, and the good always outweighs the bad.