Don’t fear the compliment.

A while ago I was in a restaurant with a girl I had met through a friend. The night was going real well, I hadn’t really shown any definite interest. I was flirtatious, but wasn’t really that forward about my intentions.

And out of nowhere I told her “You know what, I would like to see you in a nurse’s costume, I think your incredibly hot” She giggled and smiled said “we’ll see”.

Anyone who has met me knows that complimenting is a good part of my game

And for those of you undoubtedly wondering.
Evening ended well

There is defiantly an incorrect belief (one of many =p) in the Mystery Method and possibly in a large percentage of the community, that during indirect game, complimenting is solely to be given out as a reward for her actions and efforts regarding you.

Those of you paying close attention to me, you’ll of anticipated that I’m about to demonstrate the difference between delivering compliments that make people feel good, and compliments that make people feel awkward or that they’ve “won”. (However a skewed mindset that is towards relationships I’ll accept that it is one that turns up now and again in some women)

And for those of you who aren’t paying close attention.

*CLAP CLAP* OI, NO DAY DREAMING IN MY CLASSROOM!!!

The key word to good game, and thus the key to good complimenting. Is one simple keyword.

Honesty.

I know what some of you may be thinking,

“Hang on when I was a loser failing with women, I was complimenting them non-stop and I was honest”

I call BULLSHIT.

Really, were you complimenting her because you genuinely thought her hair was looking nice, or because you thought it would get her hand down your pants.

I have a theory that nice guys aren’t nice, they’re just underhand in their methods to gain acceptance.

(I will cover this in depth at some point I plan on doing a video clip where I’ll explain this in more full detail.)

The honest and straight up compliment has no reason to be rejected. EVERYONE, and even the “Guru’s” and big dogs on this forum no matter how much they reject it, appreciate a little bit of external validation now and again.

In fact seeing as we interact with women in order to get relationships and/or sex, (a form of acceptance and external validation) it’s a little ridiculous that we tell others that wanting external validation is a bad thing.

It’s one of those paradoxical “Zen” type facts, which human beings are filled with.

Think about you, at some point in your life, someone will have given you a down to earth compliment. When they were being totally serious. If it was about your personality you left feeling really good about who you were.

If it was your clothes, you felt cool, your achievements, you felt worthy and accomplished, if it was your looks you felt sexy.

A compliment in itself is innocent and has no reason to be rejected.

A false compliment, if it seems even slightly fishy will be scrutinised and you will in turn be looked at with distrust. Women will smell the fake ness, and they hate it!


Now some of you are undoubtedly thinking. “Well Fin, that’s all well and good… but how do I implement this, it all seems quite aloof and esoteric.”

Well, you’re right, it’s tricky to put into practise something that philosophical, and primarily this is to do with your outlook on people, so it’s really an aspect of inner game.

1. Start hanging out with girls you LIKE, you know the ones with more than a pretty face? THOSE ONES. They are who matter when meeting women and they are the ones who you can compliment easiest.
2. If you can’t see anything good, move on, don’t bother complimenting with fake flattery…OK this is basically the converse of above but I couldn’t leave it.
3. Get a piece of paper and right now, write down what you like in people, in men and women, then write a separate column and sort out what kind of looks you like in women, then write a whole new list and prioritise your favourite attributes in people. Knowing what you appreciate is the first step towards giving an honest compliment.
4. Understand that giving a compliment doesn’t lower you, or make her better, it is just showing acceptance that she has value as a human being.


Right that’s me out for now.

Enjoy people, PEACE OUT.

i can dig it, i like ur view on things fin its totally true, i must confess i use compliments in my game and there are those times where theyre bullshit, but i think this post will help those who fear using a good copliment in their game

_________________
"Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending" Jim Henson


~Archer

I don't believe compliments should be given just as a reward. So I agree with you there. But there are times when too many compliments can be given. If you truly dig a girl, there are probably a thousand things you COULD compliment her on, but pointing those all out or even saying "you look beautiful" more than twice in a short period of time gets annoying.

So even genuine compliments CAN be too much. If you compliment too much they lose their sincerity even if you truly mean the compliment. But you shouldn't use (or not use) compliments as a way to retain power in the relationship.

Agreed, however I would point out that if you are keeping compliments genuine, the number of traits which you value highly, that crossover with traits that she has, wouldn't normally be that many, even with a really high quality girl.

And yes, repeating the same compliment is annoying, but not becuase it is a compliment, but becuase it is repition. You could get the same result commenting on the bars decor twice in an identical fashion within a short space of time or using the same "neg" twice in rapid succession.

Would you agree with me on that?

I agree with the OP 100%

genuine and honest compliments are not suplicating, show's a lot of confidence(as oposed to the 'afc supplicating compliment') and its really seducing

For the most part I ignore all compliments given to me. Whether they're genuine or not I usually give one response to them: "Thanks"...then I go look for someone else to talk to. They don't make me feel good or bad, they just make me think that the person talking to me has nothing useful to say, and so they fell back on a compliment.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime

do you have any issue in particular?

No, as I said in my last sentence, I just assume that the person complimenting me has nothing more interesting to say and thus isn't worth talking to.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime

i guess that's ok as long as you convey the idea that you're so used to hearing that compliment that it doesn't phase you, but i can see how it can come off as rude if not done properly...

for example i have a decent new car and as a hobby i like to always keep it clean, waxed, detailed. girls say "cool/nice car" a lot (probably 50% of the time), and i'm so used to hearing it that i usually just say "thanks" and smile and then immediately move the conversation elsewhere. i want them to know that i appreciate and accept their effort to compliment my stuff (and ability to acquire it) but i have zero need for it so i quickly move on to convo better suited for building attraction/rapport etc.

pretty solid advice....