So I just got a text from a female friend saying, "So if a fat man grabs you and puts you in a bag, don't get scared, Santa's just fulfilling my wish list ."

I thought it was hilarious and that it should be passed on to the community. I think we should start a list of all different holidays and cocky/funny texts to send out to HBs throughout the year. Perfect openers, negs, even direct compliments, or whatever else you got. (Please give credit to wherever or whomever you heard it from)

NOTE: NOT ALL OF THESE CAN BE USED IN EVERY SITUATION - USE CALIBRATION FOR YOUR PARTICULAR HB

Add your own! (You can [or should] add 'Happy _______!' at the end of these to add to the fun spirit depending on how well you know the girl.

(These are all mine except for the first one, I've sent them all out throughout the day to different girls with different responses according to how close I am with each)

Christmas:
"So if a fat man grabs you and puts you in a bag, don't get scared, Santa's just fulfilling my wish list ." (HB 7)

"Santa just sent me your name on the naughty list. I was simply letting you know that I'm doing the spanking this year ."

"My friends don't believe I met Rudolph. Do me a favor and send me a picture message after standing in the cold for a few minutes ."

TRANSITIONAL:
"You: Dammit!
HB: What?
You: I tried to be naughty this year so I could meet some more naughty girls
HB (going along with it): Well I can be naughty tooo
HB (not going along with it): That sucks --> You: Yeah it's too bad your a good girl
(then morph your convo into whatever you'd like)

"I did as many nice things as a I did bad this year. I know you wanna see me, but then I'm definitely gonna end up on the naughty side if that happens;)."

Here are some of mine for other holidays:

St. Patrick's Day:
"I may not be Irish, but that doesn't mean you can't kiss me anyway."

Halloween:
"Let's say we skip the trick and go right over to my [or 'your'] place for treats ."

I'll post more as I remember them. Add your own please.