hi guys, it is me again, Paramount

first and foremost, I want to say thanks to Kasabi, here, if you want to take this thread to call me a million different names, well, call me a million different names because while you tried to help me and do what is best for me, I simply bit you and struck at you

Now I want to tell you about my transformation

For the past week or more while I was gone from this place, a little transformation overcame me. As you can see, I was an insecure (and probably am an insecure) who posted about a gazillon threads on women, race, my skin color, and my life under certain conditions. I found myself a bit depressed, sad, pissed off, and all that because:

1. While a lot of kids were enjoying themselves in high school (guys nailing women and such), I was the kid sheltered and pampered who didn't get to do anything.
2. I though that Black guys, Latin guys, and White guys were somehow superior to me and that if I was to ever get into PUA, they would get all the girls before.
3. I thought that being an Indian or w/e was a bad thing and that I was doomed to fail with women and BLEH!

Thing is, I was basing SO MUCH of myself and my life off of women. I was so f*ckin gullible that I let some guy who has to go third world countries to get his d*ck wet and spends time just ranting about everything wrong with American women, IMPACT how I viewed myself.

Taking some time off, relaxing my mind, and realizing some things I noticed something.

I based SO MUCH of my happiness off of women. The second somebody online would post saying "Hay I saw an Indian guy with a beautiful latin or black or white girlfriend", that would SOMEHOW, make my day better.

I posted a thread asking people to rate me on a scale of 1-10.

Doing all that I noticed something. I was basing my happiness off of women.

I REALIZED SOMETHING:

I go to the gym because I want a better body, not because I want to get laid.
I read books because I want to learn, not because I think learning a new word will make women wanna f*ck me.
I go out and travel because I want to do something with my life and experience new things, NOT BECAUSE I want to find the nearest spot to get my d*ck wet.
I cook for MYSELF, not because I want to learn new dishes for women so they can eat my food, fall in love with it and f*ck me.

When I was a kid, I was happy, because I enjoyed the little things in life. When I was in junior life, I enjoyed life. Now I saw myself, I realized that I was doing so much to make myself into a lady's man that I took no pleasures in the simple joys of life and ruined my chances with women.

You guys were very helpful to me. And in the time I have been off here and the internet in general I have managed to find happiness in life. As a matter of fact, while I was enjoying myself, a girl I was into during the semester saw me playing basketball with my friends and told me I played great. I got invited to a new year's party by her and I managed to find some success there BUT most of all I enjoyed myself because I lived life and did not put pressure on myself to do good with women.

I don't know if I get it or not, but I think I have found something that works best for me. And for all of you who wanted the best for me, thanks......

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

You never need a girl to make you happy. But it is a big bonus don't you think?

Some people enjoy having women around them, and yeah it makes them happy. If you have other goals, then that's good.

I bid you farewell and good luck with your life.

1. You 'got to do' more than nothing. You just didn't do much that's all. Big difference.

2. "They" were NOT nailing women and such. I'm sure these things can be different from region to region but very few high school guys get any action at all. Remove the immature fantasy trash talk created to uphold their non-existing reps and it's really just a small handful of guys who get around. And when they do, it's hardly game but rather an incestual obligation amongst in-school prominent guys and low self esteemed girls.
^This is probably a wrong assessment. It's not that you based your happiness off of women but rather you based your MISERY off of women. Every topic in regards to women was a source for your misery.
^This is a popular thing around here . . . and it's about as silly as a 40 your old bimbo telling her friends that she got a boob job for 'her own happiness".

There is nothing wrong with drawing inspiration to help you obtain positive ends. If you want to learn how to fish, you'll read a book on fishing. If you want to learn how to learn how to pick up women, go find a book on the topic if that's your thing. Cooking for chicks can be fun . . . and spending time together with a girl in this way is fun . . . What's wrong with doing 'cool' things in order to get a girl?
Did you do this on your own in secret? I don't recall any posts that would indicate you put any effort into this. I don't recall many posts where you asked for any advice . . . You blamed a whole bunch of things for your unsatisfactory situation but I'm not sure how you see this as "doing so much to make yourself into a lady's man."
If so, I wish you luck but why not take some time and give the PU thing a shot?

Why do you want a better body?

If you had said "because I want to get stronger to be better at basketball" then maybe I would go with your statement that it is for YOU. The ONLY reason someone would want a better body (suggesting in terms of aesthetics) is for sexual/social reasons.

Don't get me wrong, it is GREAT you are doing things for YOU - but even if you call an orange a banana, its still an orange.

Seriously, people do LOADS of things just for the approval of others. Getting a hair cut, dressing fashionably, using scented body wash, getting a BMW rather than a Fiat etc etc etc. IT ISN'T A BAD THING!

Seeking validation is not a bad thing. Its about balance.

Hollywood does not portray south asians males as sexy. U have to be strong in spite of this.

Kasabi your a smart guy and give a good response. Using a lot of intellectual language may get in the way of ur message.

Some guys are just not ready for criticism.

Wish u luck south asian dude. Watching Bollywood movies may help ur innergame. To see Indian guys acting cool. I have a friend who is not a pua but had a good self image as he was brought up watching Bollywood movies. He identifies with Indian guys.

Kasabi u can give me advice anytime u like. I will be interested. I have my own thread.

Cheers.

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Meet and Wing.

direct-game-birmingham-friends-that-wil ... 30930.html

The Jackal an Introduction.
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The Field Reports.
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The Lay Reports.
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Paramount21 - This is what I get from your posts:

Before: I can't get women
Now: I don't want women

You are finding new reasons to hold yourself back from being successful.

You are right in wanting to live an attractive lifestyle and do things for yourself. But why not use this new found attractive lifestyle mindset to welcome and attract good Women in your life.

Dude, that's no excuse not to be your best self just because you're indian. There will always be girls you can easily attract with your confidence, charm and wits.

Please go to SimplePickup youtube channel for further demonstration that anyone can do it http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup

The indian guy there seemed pretty average and scrawny at first, but after I saw their vids, I was very impressed with their inner game. It's definitely better then mine and probably better then most people in the pick up community so if they can do it then why not you?? Just put in the work and don't worry how long it's gonna take, you should enjoy the journey cause it will make you stronger, better and you'll have more fun along the way.

I know it's hard to envision being successful with women in the beginning if you have no experiences but that's why you gotta have faith in yourself and keep on going until it happens cause trust me, it will happen!!

Keep working on yourself and enjoy the things you do because remember, you are the prize and you're bringing women into your world.

well nevermind, no one got my message

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

I saw it. I noticed that you wrote your post in a very mature way, in oposite to previous posts. That's cool.

What the other people like Kasabi say is certainly true, but I think you're in the right direction. Previously, you were so frustrated with women it was all you could think about it. You're now taking a step back, leave women for who they are, and start focussing on yourself for your self improvement, or "Self Realisation" (Rogers). It's a phase I think you have to go through. Just forgeting about women for a while, do the things you like or always wanted to do to make your life and personality more rich. To make yourself more confident and proud. That's good.

In the next phase, when you've came to peace with yourself and the others, you will start to acknowledge and accept that people do a lot of things to get validation (like wearing nice clothes, etc., etc., etc.) from others or to get girls, and that it is just a social thing and that there is actualy nothing wrong about it, as long as it stays in balance or won't go out of proportion.

But one step at a time. So just focus on yourself, come to peace with yourself, leave women for who they are for a while (in other words, let them not make your number one priority yet), follow this forum and come with your questions, and start again when you find that you have improved a lot.

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

I think you need to take a break and let women come to you. Sometimes seeking women out can be quite tiresome. Women do come to you, you just have to be aware of the women who are interested and take advantage of those times when the going gets easy.

Paramount, I'm glad you're starting to enjoy life again. Kasabi is just trying to get you out of your comfort zone and make you see the bigger picture. It sucks to be out of the comfort zone because it isn't too ...well comfortable. But it's the only way to move forward.
Shyler gave you very good advice.
Anyways, welcome back to the forum, I don't doubt you'll make great progress.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

totally agree!!