Hey guys,

I've been busy lately trying to get my website up and running, plus Prankzter up by October 31, 2008. I do miss the action around here!

So, why is Freeze Out important so important? Well, matter of fact - it works not only for wanting sex or anything but also friendships as well.

Here's a little story. I have this friend named Katie which is older but cranky as hell. She does alot of complaining that nothing is right etc.. She lives down my hall in my apartment complex. I was going to title this thread, "Don't snap at me, bitch!" However, it wouldn't really fit. It would be catchy although, not necessary.

So, I asked for Sugar and she let me in. Got the sugar and put it in my coffee. She was complaining that her hips hurt-so I let her talk while I dumped sugar into my coffee. She dropped her papers that she was doing and I picked them up - however, she was in a real bad mood because alot of shit have gone down in our apartment. A recent friend of Katies and mine passed away in his apartment - Katie and Tony were close, so she feels alot of grief and sadness.

"You put the God damn spoon in the sink." She said. "Relax dude, I'll clean it." I said. "Forget it! Just forget it!" She snapped back. I laughed and as I was walking out the door she said, "I'm just don't feel well." "Yeah, well...there's time I don't feel well- but you know." Then walked out.

This was good because 1) It addressed to her that I'm not gonna give a shit if she snaps on me. 2) I'll tell her how it is. 3) I demand respect from people and won't get disrespected.

Those three components are really good things to make a friendship, relationship, family, etc.. become healthy.

So, you may be like- "I don't get it- all you did was tell her off!" Well, that's the thing right there my friends. Now, comes the freeze out - which if they're all nice and sweet to you, send a reminder that what you thought they did wasn't right. So, if they come talking to you - just continue walking or show them you're not going to show them "attention" until they shape their behavior. Freeze Out technique is basically Reshaping a person's behavior. It's not manipulation or any sort because therapists use it on clients all the time. Also, for you to have in mind - if you have a feeling like, "THey'll never talk to me because I just Freezed Them Out" It's not true - it's the little voice inside your head that worries to much. I call it Mr. Worry-Wart.

How do you apply this your relationships? Simple, if anyone disrespects you or walks all over you - always remember, if you respect your self and do not allow anyone to disrepect you then you'll have to send the message loud and clear. Just like Zip's Frame Theory. It's a party - you decide to let them in or out. So, if there's anyone that disrespects you or treats you on shit then let them know. Don't be that rug mat that people walk on and rub their dirty little shoes on.

Oh, another good point to this thread is also it not only sends a message that they fucked up - but also, makes them think well--maybe I shouldn't talk to him like how I did. They'll come up and apologize and try to patch the relationship. Now, I'm not saying Hold Grudges because that's basically not going to get you anywhere-- you'll just be miserable. Just pull yourself away from that person a little until they come to you and apologize or do something kind then you can pull them back in your arms. Kinda like the Push-Pull Theory huh? LOL!

Well, guys - I'll be on the forum more often. Take care and have a Happy Halloween!

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

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