Hey All.

So one of the new HBs I met came over to my house for the 3rd time today. The first time she came over i taught her a guitar lesson. The second time she stopped by with a friend to drop off a cd she made for me and stayed about 15 minutes. This time she came by and we worked on some HW for a couple hours and then spend 30 minutes or so just hangin in my room. Every time we've hung out we've become a little more comfortable with each other. She's pretty reserved but today I got her to open up a bit. We were kinoing just by flirting and smacking eachother around. She even got up into my bed when she was working on her hw and i was looking up some guitar tabs.

I feel like the comfort wasn't built enough to move in for a kiss close tonight. I'm hoping on the weekend we'll kick it and i think either the next time or time after that I should kiss her. Here's the problem though: At the moment I'm having trouble sexually escalating. The problem is that I care a bit too much about the consequences. I know it doesn't make sense...

Can someone give me examples of how they sexually escalate from Kino to a kiss close in a friendly setting?

I think she's definately interested and in the next few times we hang this should work out.

Thanks

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

Ill be honest in my experiences, the times I dont think about it and just do it is when its the best. But if you always wait for that moment it'll be too late, and she'll think you guys are just friends. Trust me she isnt stupid, she at your house, on your bed and just chillin. She could be anywhere else doing whatever she wants but she is choosing to chill with you, and its simply because she intrested in you.

If you wait to long then she'll see you as a friend who she can trust coming over and wont have to worry about sexual shit.

Kiss her. Worst case scenario, she pulls away and says what are you doing...
I like you and i wanted to kiss you. Done i dont care if you like it or not, this is who am I and this is what I want to do, be yourself you want to kiss her kiss her....

Well if you are unsure if she wants to be kissed, look in her eyes and if she holds contact for 3 seconds, she wants it.
There are also plenty routines you can use. Some good ones are 'Style's evolution phase shift' and this one that someone posted which I like:
"let me see your right hand" (put it in your left)
"now close your eyes"
slowly run your right index/middle finger down her cheek brushing against her hair, take your time. You can either a) kiss her, or if she looks not entirely down b)
"Open your eyes now. Did you think I was going to kiss you?"
if she says:
Yes -> "Well I would prefer to do it with your eyes open" (then go for it)
maybe -> (just go for it)
no -> "I was just seeing if you trusted me." (and back up, don't go for it yet)

There are a lot of different ways to reach a k-close. Scan this forum (go to routines section or sticking points section) and you will see a lot of them. Good luck.

Thanks for the input guys

I think i may just be getting to comfortable with the day to day. I'm just going to have to step up and challenge myself to do something outside of my traditional comfort zone.

I'll let ya know how it goes

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

Ok so me and the HB i mentioned above hung out last night and we were kinoing like crazy. I'd give her a play punch and she'd tackle me. We ended up wrestling and I pinned her down. There were other people around so obviously i didn't kiss her.

We've been texting back and forth quite a bit too. Today a buddy of mine threw a BBQ at his house. I helped out and invited her too. Later at night she and I were both outside alone. I suggested we go for a walk (we were way out in the country and it was pitch black out). She said okay and jumped on my back. I gave her a piggy back ride out into the darkness. When we had walked a ways I stopped and looked up at the sky. I talked to her a bit just standing there. I was thinking about kissing her and I think i hesitated too much. I should've just done it. I over thought it and psyched myself out.

We started heading back and a car with really bright lights drove past. We stopped to let it go. After that I put my arm around her back looked at her and said "come here". I got really close to her face with mine like i was going to kiss her. Right when our lips were about to touch I stopped. She pecked me.

But just after that i felt a bout of resistance come on from her. It was like somethign was wrong or troubling her. We walked back and didn't say much to one another. I was surprised we weren't making out hardcore in some bush!! Honestly it was a little bit strange and slightly akward between us on the walk back. We went inside and didn't say a lot to one another.

She left about 30 minutes later.

I was quite confused. About an hour after she left I texted her. I said "I feel confused. Were you not into that?" She replied that she wasn't against it but that she had a lot of shit she needed to figure out about herself and she didn't wanna mess things up. To me that's ambiguous. She could be telling the truth, or just feeding me a line. But given the IOIs she's been giving me up until that point I'd like to believe she was being honest. I told her that i wasn't looking for anything serious and said I felt like that was something we both wanted. She said it was something she wanted but again that she didn't wanna mess stuff up. I told her that she worries too much and that in a world without emotions and relationships we would have excellent sexual chemistry. She told me i was was funny (probably because i was so forward with her) and apologized for being wierd. I told her no apology was necessary and that i'm glad we tried what we did tonight. Then i wished her a good night.

I'm a little confused still, but it sounds like it's more her deal than mine. I am happy though that I made a move. I took a fantasy and made it a reality. That's cool.

And that's my update

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

Good news.

A few nights later she and i went for a walk in the evening. We talked about all sorts of stuff. At the end of the night i was saying goodbye to her, and she looked down like she was trying to think of some way to say something big and complicated. I gave her a funny look. She looked up at the sky, laughed, and gave me a hug and left.

Later she texted me and apologized for being wierd. I asked her what was distracting her. She said we needed to talk about it in person. I replied with a text saying this:
Me: "Ahh, i didn't know you wanted to talk about serious stuff. I think I know what the subject is. Let's cut the production. Do you want to hook up or no? Either way I'm down to hang out".
Her: "would it be just hooking up or more than that?"
Me: Just hooking up. I'm in a really cool place in my life and I don't want a relationship
Her: Thank you for your honesty
Me: You're definately datable and I think you're really cool. I just can't handle a relationship right now (i was being honest here)
Her: I'm okay with that

The end of our conversation was a little ambiguous. On Wednesday afternoon I went to her house. We played some pool and then chilled out and played some video games. The whole night was sexually charged with kino and we even made playlists of songs each of us would like to have sex to and compared them. I gave her a big slap on the ass when she was going outside to get something. She got kinda mad at me, but in a playful way. I left without hugging her this time.

Friday she told me to come over around 4pm. I went to her place and she did a hennah tatoo on me. Then we went to the bead store and she had me pick out some cool beads for her to make a necklace for me out of. We got some food and took it back to her house. There i taught her a guitar lesson to repay her for the tatoo.

I was sitting at her computer looking up some guitar tabs. She needed to use it and just sat down on my lap. From then on I knew it was on. We hung out until about 1am. At 11:30pm or so we were back at my place laying in my bed watching some tv. She was mid conversation and i was looking away. I interrupted her.

Me: "How would you like to kiss me?"
Her: "Wow, you're really forward aren't you?"
Me: "Yes"
Her: "I dunno"
Me: "You don't know?"
Her: "I wouldn't be opposed to it"

At that point i tackled her and we made out for about 5 minutes. We talked for a bit and she put her head on my chest the whole time. A bit later i kissed her neck for a while.

I said goodbye to her and she walked home (she lives just down the street from me - total girl next door fantasy!)

Long story short, it went well, i followed up for a second kiss close and got a really good reaction. She texted me today and we flirted around a bit. I'll probably see her tomorrow

Overall I'd consider it a success.

Thanks for reading.

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

Great story! Kind of enjoyed reading that lol if i may how old are you guys? Seems to bring me back a bit...

Lol.. it seems so innocent huh? I'm 22 and she's 19.

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

lol it really does. i was expecting you both to be younger than you are. it sounds so high school romance-ish lol

Really good read, callmecaptain.

I can really relate to some of your points. By the way will you being making 'it' a long-term relationship?

good stuff man. just a couple things:

when you said is that something you'd normally say in conversation with this chick or do you think it sounded kinda out of place? if it's not something you'd normally say in real-life conversation, it's gonna come off as inauthentic. most ppl don't like mixed messages when it comes to getting to know ppl, especially when it comes to them thinking you might be "fake."

also, i wouldn't talk about hooking up thru text messaging or even on the phone. the only time i'd talk about it is when it's actually physically possible to hook up. if you talk about it any other time, she might get buyer's remorse (even tho i guess she hasn't really "bought" anything yet) and feel dirty when she talks to you again.

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-SexyMoto

When I told her that it was because I wanted her to imagine having some kind of sexual relationship with me. The issues preventing us from hooking up were essentially emotions and failed relationships for her in the past. By taking those constraints away in a fantasy world she is able to comfortably envision the fantasy. As soon as it has becomed imagined and visualized it subconciously drives the other into making that fantasy a reality.

That technique I used relies simply on the power of visualization.

Talking about hooking up has to be done skillfully. The post above was summarized. I typically use a lot of innuendo and only then get explicit. For example tonight she was talking abotu how she was a vegetarian. I asked her if there was any kind of meat she liked to put in her mouth. She said "yes, but i'm picky about it...". Eventually I said to her through text "How would you feel if I was sexually agressive with you the next time we're alone?". "Hmmm depends... but i think i'd like it!" was her response.

She came by around midnight and we did hook up tonight and have been the past week. So far this strategy seems to be working. I would definately test it out more though before reccomending other people try it as a general strategy.

Thanks for your thoughts,

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."