Dammit I can’t stay away from this place!!!
I’m back for three days, so my help line is up and running and I hope to jack into the newbie forum and the lounge in order to help out answering questions and supplying constructive input.
I’ve brought with me a new thought (I was going to hold this back for a book in the future, but thought you guys might benefit more) and a new lay report. I’ll also be spending the whole of Friday flirting in town, so if anything eventful kicks off on Friday you’ll also get another field report at least.
I shall begin!
PURPOSE
I was sitting in my garden a week ago, thinking, meditating to be precise. It came to me that something many of us lose and could benefit from regaining is our purpose. Whether that is as simple as understanding what you want to get out of now or the day at hand. Or something much grander, like understanding what will make you happy in the long run.
None the less we should recognise when goals should be changed, and when our purpose has become void. Think about how much our intentions change. How many of the new guys came here hoping for tips on women, and after watching some videos and reading 2-3 articles posted here. Suddenly they felt they were destined to become the next Mystery or Dicarlo. It’s really easy to get distracted and lose your purpose.
I joined here to get a particular girl called Cora, I use to work with her, and I occasionally flirted with her, but I had never had to close a deal off a “cold approach” before and things went stale when I left her place of work. I joined here, 2-3 weeks in I forgot about her, went through the aforementioned “I’m gonna be PUG, I’m gonna change the face of Pick Up” stage. Then drifted around flirting with women.
I then fell into a trap, I lost my purpose my original “identity”, PU had spun my head, I identified myself solely as someone who picks up girls. I had confused “happy” with “lots and lots of wild sex” although the two aren’t mutually exclusive
.
ABC (always be closing) is a great way to get results; the numbers of opportunities I’ve missed in life by not pulling the trigger are countless. It shows you that all you need to do is make a move, and it will usually work out for the best. But it had it’s drawback, I soon came wrapped up in K closes and #closes and F-closes. That the experience of women wasn’t fun, the results were just a silly ego boost and that’s all that mattered.
I needed to realise that the results don’t matter, it’s the effect that does. Back when I was wrapped up heavily in a PUA identity, I could walk away from a 2 hour day game session with 2-3 K closes and 15 numbers or so.
Now I don’t bother, two days ago walking back from college I approached a Goth chick in star bucks (some of you may know I’m a huge fan of the Goths; I’m just a depressive bastard at heart
) All I did was comment on how awesome her hair looked, chatted for 30 seconds and walked away. I knew I was good, but I didn’t take the result, simply cause I didn’t need it. But it was her eyes her immediate smile and instant openness that had let me know that I was having a positive effect. And yeah, if I was looking for a girl, I could have taken that number at watched it flourish.
Another 2 set I approached used an opener and teased mercilessly about their answers got acquainted with them and left. Did I care that I walked away 2 minutes later empty-handed…NO. I had enjoyed the experience and I knew that they had as well. That’s all that matters.
What’s more I enjoyed that short sarge far more than the twenty numbers sarge.
There was in someone’s signature on this forum a quote “Anyone can pick up a girl in a bar, the trick is to make the experience unforgettable”
I think I know what that means now.
INNER PEACE
I think I benefited from finding real Peace. Many members here wrestle with their identity. In all honesty most people say they are PUA’s when they describe themselves, because they are insecure with their own life outside PU. Yet ironically still force themselves to think alpha.
They try and enforce an alpha frame, “ I am the man, I am the leader” but they don’t understand why they are the man, why they are the leader; and then their inner game often crumbles. Often it just results in poor inner game, but more often than not it looks out of place.
Story time
Oh boy I fucked this one up.
Girl called Kay, met her on a sarge when I was big into MM about a month into the game. Closed the number had attraction had comfort. She even drew a MWAH! And a pair of lips, mimicking a kiss on my notepad. I had only spoken to her for about 6 minutes!
You guys have all seen that video of the message on the answering machine of that guy who has this huge list of stuff to say, “Basically I’m a high value guy, you’ll have to work for me because I have sex with lots of other sexy women all the time etc etc”
I basically did the same over MSN.
It was like: “Hey you Wanna help me pick out some shirts tomorrow, I mean like your going to have to jump on this one cause I’ve got 3 other girls who want to do it for me, and their all models and fashion students so they can…”
Can’t continue story TOO EMBARASSING
It’s about 6 months on, she still won’t reply to my calls texts Hahahahha!
See what I mean? I fucked up because I was too interested in showing I was alpha in a way that wasn’t congruent or fitting.
A good example of a decent seducer who breaks the rules and has it work for him is hobbit (I know he won’t mind me crediting him: He gives out gifts and compliments all the time, because it is “him” and it is congruent to his personality to be romantic.
The trick is to know your alpha, in detail, to know yourself. I don’t mean know your strengths I mean be really alpha. Know your weakness. Lets do me, I’m not afraid to talk about this.
I enjoy women greatly now, because I was a social failure in my childhood.
I do martial arts and get good at them, because I was physically dominated in my childhood.
I still to this day play a game that has gone on in our street for the past ten years entitled “BANG BANG”* (there is nothing more tense in life than crawling on your belly at 10:30 pm in order to avoid “imaginary” sniper fire from your next door neighbour and preparing storm their base)
Why, because I probably feel that I missed a good part of my childhood. Infact it’s safe to say that I am the result of my own insecurities, and I’m comfortable with that. I don’t know how many other guys could be.
I DO know also my good points in detail, I know that I am a “nice guy” as a recent conversation with some girls in psychology class has alerted me to. I know that I am funny, after hitting up one or two comedy gigs and having a good time while making the audience enjoy themselves. And I know I’m sexy, thanks to PU and the girls I’ve met.
Well that’s me for now, I’ll also have one or two other threads to knock up soon, but those are more minor thoughts compared to this.
*I have actually used BANG BANG to build comfort with HB’s after day twos etc. I’M NOT KIDDING.
“BANG BANG a moment to learn; a lifetime to master. All equipment supplied by gardens, streets and the imagination”
EDIT: AAHHH!!! How the hell do I change my avatar? this new set up is slowly killing me.
CHAT
