I'm gonna bring up the subject of girls with boyfriends....I'm very confused right now due to a situation I've been left in by a girl who I instant dated (and then flirted with over the phone and email), only to find out a few weeks later she was in a serious relationship of 3 years. I now am left with an 'orbiter'....a girl who texts and emails me but has no sexual interest in me. The point is, I was led on, and so I want your thoughts on the whole 'girls with boyfriends' issue.

Let's take the average girl between the ages of 16 and 26. I believe it to be true that almost all girls in this age range have some sort of 'boyfriend', to varying degress of seriousness.

Now, the PU community advocates that you should use boyfriend destroyers such as 'So what's it like being in the perfect relationship' etc.

Other advice says that the 'bf issue' is just a shit test.

I'm not so sure it's as clear cut as this.

If a girl 'has a boyfriend', then one of the following scenarios is true:-

1) It's a serious relationship and the girl is in love with her boyfriend and she won't cheat on him or leave him for another guy (unless the bf turns into a chump or something).

2) It's a less serious relationship and the girl will willingly cheat on her bf or leave him if a better guy comes along

So, then, if a girl says she has a boyfriend, you have to figure out one of the following:-

a) Is it just a shit test?....i.e. she doesn't really have a bf but just wants to throw you a challenge to see how much of man you are.

b) Does she REALLY have a bf? And in which case is she willing to cheat on him or leave him for you?

c) Are YOU willing to sleep with a girl who has a bf, or are you willing to steal a girl from a guy?

So the whole 'girl with a bf' issue isn't clear cut.

It's a paradox....if you only want to date or sleep with single, unattached women, then this whole bf issue is going to pose a problem.

The question is....if most girls have bfs, how do you find single, unnatached women? And how do you find out if it's serious with her?

The answer, I believe is to ask girls if they're single in the first interaction. I know many guys say don't ask her if she's single, but the truth is there are many girls who will lead you on/try and set the friends frame if they have a bf and they know you are in the dark about that. So the only way out of this madness is to ask them if they're single and get them to talk about their relationship a bit so you can find out how serious it is or is not.

These are issues I've been confronted with lately, and it's creating barriers for me.

I don't think it's as simple as classing the bf issue as a 'shit test' and using bf destroyers etc.

Can you guys give me your own personal point of view on this subject. Thanks.

you mention a lot of terrific points, and you phrase them really well.

As each individuals morals and goals will be different, we can't really say whether it is right or wrong to pursue a woman already involved. What I can say is that in most cases, it really is not your responsibility (up to a point of course. You shouldn't be manipulative, or lie, or give false impressions to persuade her to you).

It is up to the person currently in the relationship to decide whether she wants to end things with them to go with you, cheat on them, or dabble with multiple people.

In the term you use it, you are right. Most women have "boyfriends." However there are plenty of reasons to have a boyfriend. I would have to say at the bottom of that list would be because they are in Love. So don't worry about her partner. Be who you are going to be, and if she likes you and wants you - and you feel the same about her - then have some fun.
It is her job to worry about the third party person in her life, not yours.

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

You know what, Lockestar© is completely correct in saying that it, for the most part, is not your responsibility. It's mainly the person who is in a relationship to regulate. With that said, I am a man of principle. I refuse to date or hook up with or whatever with a woman who is in a "committed" relationship. I believe in Karma.

That's just my opinion, for what it's worth.

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Life is a game. Win.

and thats why your a rock'in dude!

You just never know....really....."what" she may be though; so ask to find out, or be ignorant and enjoy ruining lives (or saving them, depending on how you look at it)

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

All the best girls are "taken" and i'm just looking for out numero uno. Unless the BF is my best buddy, Fuck em. If she is truly happy with her situation she won't cheat. Its all simple as that, don't over think it or you will go crazy thinking about it.

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I just wanna fuck bad bitches, for all the nights I never had bitches.

Good post. But frankly to me a boyfriend is just that - a boyfriend. My 'moral barrier' is engagement/marraige. Till then all bets are off. I have tested it both morally and as a BF destroyer as follows;

"just out of curiosity do you think you'll marry this guy?" If she says yes then that tells you be respectful and move on. But if she says no then...

"so then the chances are that as good as it is, logically this means that at some point you're likely to break up, even if thats far away and there are no issues right now" [again depending on her answer you can gauge her interest/seriousness, depending on how it feels move to close]

"well remember that point AFTER you've broken up and you look back at all you could have done/should have done and you're kind of mad for wasting your time and the missed opportunities? Well dont let this be one of those. Lets make this one of those special nights that you'll always keep and be able to look back on when that day comes"

Its worked 3/5 times and even when it hasnt its sparked a huge discussion either directly with her and /or her girlfriends.

I have no problem gaming a girl with a BF. I am just flirty by nature so it just happens for the most part. I will play it simple and do everything but escolate.

I personally wouldnt make a girl cheat on a BF (but ofc if i dont know she has a BF i cant be blamed). I dont know why, i guess its because if i was a AFC i wouldnt want my LTR cheating on me, its just not fair.

Until recently i have never had a BF problem, normally it goes away by itself or if they have a BF who they are really into, i dont feel right breaking them apart. Plenty more fish and all that

Madals

The funny part of this whole boyfriend thing is that girls out number guys population wise, by I believe by 2:1. Yes the ratio of women to men will vary from place to place. But with women out numbering men, one would think it be easy for a guy to get a girl, but nope.

I like that point, that it's their responsibility.

Mind you, as the common phrase goes, "the man leads and the woman follows". Lead her on and she'll follow willingly. Would be interesting to do a study of 100 women with bfs and whether/how easily they will cheat with a quality PUA. TV Programme Idea perhaps?

Maybe not. The secret society would make the producers disappear, lol.

Just wanted to support you guys. I completely agree. It is the womans choice to cheat on her BF. You only present the opportunity! I would never steal my friends gf but an unknown man... Sure.

Ok, if you are to ask the girl if she has a boyfriend or not, you should do it in a way that is indirect. Dont just straight up ask her "do you have a boyfriend", there goes all your game.

You give her the edge when you reveal your intentions. A blatant IOI and a crack in your frame. Dont give her the game, she gets all she needs to lie to you when you do that shit.

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Its not the material-----Its the Execution

Never "Do you have a bf".

Always "are you single"

I always find it better not to set up a frame mentioning a bf. Its all about phrasing, man!

If she does anything like for example she makes a mistake by dropping something, you can say "Oh wow I bet your boyfriend thinks you're very clumsy most of the time." There are two things she could say. Either one, she would just say "Oh I don't have a boyfriend." or she would say "Yeah I think he does". So therefore instead of asking her directly if she is single or have a boyfriend, you can easily lead her to this.

Everyone here has made great points, however the age range of which you are generalizing women has some big distinctions. There are 2 mentalities that can be generalized from 2 seperate age groups.

16-19 (High School Girls)

The girls in high school who are in relationships, are very much not likely to cheat in any way shape or form. Some won't even hang out with guys alone without their boyfriend present. The reason being, girls in high school are very much looking for love. They want that perfect relationship that will last forever. Mind you this is the general mentality. There can be many variables to alter the situation. In some cases, a select group of girls will be very promiscuous. Which in most schools, these are the girls who are labeled as sluts. As to the girls who cheat on their boyfriends, they will have to be in a very shitty relationship to push them that far. I've not known many girls to cheat on their boyfriend unless they got drunk or the relationship was a complete sham.

19-26 (College/Young Adults)

In this age group things become more relaxed. Girls aren't so much looking for love, but for experience. They realize that they have the rest of their life to settle down and want to experience as much of it as possible. In this day and age, women are recommended to "shoot for the moon", since society has become less and less male dominated. Thus, having a boyfriend doesn't hold such strict rules. Many girls have loose relationships that they would have no problem dropping in a heartbeat for something better. Girls also become more relaxed with the idea of sex without expectations. Instead of worrying about committment a fair number of them are more willing to have sex and not desire anything else. Think, the type of girl you SNL. Now offcourse, as with the above group there are some exceptions. Girls who are in love almost surely won't cheat. If the relationship is shitty she might cheat.


That is just the categorizations I've come up with to generalize the women of each age group. I do admit, that in the end its her decision to do what ever it is the situation is heating up to. However, the above thoughts can lend credence to the mindset of your targets.

Hey you forgot a group... 27+ (Desperate housewives.)

Likely to cheat... Yes.