Hey guys, this is something that's really been bugging me lately. I get confused as to what "i" would originally do in comparison to what a PUA would do, or even if what "i" would want to do , IS pua. I'm sure some of you feel me on that. Anyway.

Ok. EX-gf and i started to hook up maybe last week, we chilled /got down(no sex though). This is a girl that now a days i would NEVER even care to get to know....goes to a lot of clubs...gets off sometimes on being ditzy....has huge tits and ALLLLLWAAYYYSSSS has shirts where it's not like "well my tits are big so of course i can't hide them" but more like "LOOK AT MY BIG TITS"...basically slutty attire.

I don't want to be jealous on that fact and i'm really not, it's just pathetic i guess and i wouldn't think a "quality" girl would wear clothes like that, but maybe im just being jealous and ignorant?

Ok...this girl basically blew A LOT of guys after we went out...i'm sure she's blew mass amounts of people...hooked up with even more....i mean it's the CLUB scene, that's what people go there for..even if they just say "just to dance". BULLSHIT. Anyway, i think she's a sweet girl and i have a past with her so of course i guess i still care about her/well-being ..plus she gives INCREDIBLE blowjobs.

She doesn't openly talk about other guys, but just today i saw a picture of her hooking up with some dude and then took it down later in the day(??). So i'm sure she gets her groove on. I DO NOT want to be "one of the guys" she's with.....i have way too much value for that and i don't wanna be categorized with these dumbass guido faggots, to be frank. Yet....i DO NOT want to "go out"....i want to get with other girls also.

What should i do? I know some guys are gonna say "well fuck her and have the abundance mentality and find another girl" ...and that's the most PUA answer, BUT....she gives good head/she's a caring person/i don't feel like she deserves to be exiled from my life...but i don't want to be "just friends".

Points that are frustrating me:
- i don't know for a FACT if she's habitually hooking up with other guys(only saw that one picture)
- She always tries to raise her value and sometimes calls me "her lil bitcH" of which i usually freeze out afterward, but only twice i think...but even so it shows she's trying to have power over me because when we went out, I WAS A FUCKING BITCH.
- I want to let her know about how slutty she looks and why she feels the need to have her tits basically in the open. Yet i don't think i have a right to tell her how to dress, especially if we aren't going out.
- The guys she HAS been with, (maybe are SPAM) i KNOW are not quality/intelligent people...just those who can only "have fun with life" by being fucked up.....we JUST went to a weird NJ thing which involved HIKING....they had to get drunk first....what the fuck?
- She likes to be spiteful, even if it hurts her...she'll do something just to get back at someone....so if one of my stories has a girl in it....she'll have to counter with a story with a guy....very obvious shit.

I want: Her to try and stop looking like such a slut so maybe she can attract a quality guy who's looking for more than just a fuck.
- to make it known that although if she asks me, i will want to hook up with other girls.....but i don't want her to. I don't think i would care if she did if they were quality, but not guys who are just using her for ass.
- To understand that any attempt of trying to fuck with me isn't going to work, she has NO power over me...she better respect me

I know this was very long but it's something that has really been on my mind and none of my friends seem to have any clue what to do so i turn to you experts....thank you for reading and i hope someone can aid me.

What are you, her uncle?

Dude, either admit to yourself that you love her and move forward or if you don't, let her live her life. How can you even begin to define somebody else's happiness when most of can't even figure out our own lives? You want her to do this, you want her to do that . . . You are NOT her.

It doesn't matter what she says or how you "think" she feels. How many times have you "felt" like you should do things this way or that for yourself only to realize later on that what you chose to do were not your TRUE feelings? Stop this pattern now. You are what chicks call a control freak and they hate it. I'm going to risk "virtual" retaliation, go out on the limb here, and make this call as the way I see it.

Dude, think about it . . . you're not even married to her and you sound like some control freak husband. All this Hollywood "I'm going to take care of her . . I'm going to help her out and so she can be a better person bullshit" is going to hurt you in several ways. First, it's going to F shit up with this girl. Second, this habitual practice of proactively butting into other people's lives is going to F up your game.

You want her to respect you? Work on your game. Maker her envious of your righteousness. Stop looking at her like some little bitch.(You probably think you're looking at her with caring eyes) If she's calling you a bitch, it's probably because you look like one. Don't underestimate. chicks. . . they know everything . ..

hey thanks for your reply.

Unless i've mistaken ALL PUA knowledge....it's ABOUT being in CONTROL. I'm not sure how you're now saying that demanding it is a bad thing?

If a girl LMR...you freezeout to CONTROL the interaction. You CONTROL the frame of conversation with a group of people, you are DOMINATE/ALPHA....i'm not sure if you've gotten to those concepts yet.

If a girl doesn't do what you WANT, you find someone ELSE. That's the PUA mindset of saying "i have enough value that i can do this". It's not done through actual VERBAL communication, but non verbal. So me being "a little bitch" isn't possible since i've met no remark or gesture to signify that i give a SHIT about what she does in her spare time.

I WOULD THINK that pua's are the ones who have multiple girls at a time...not allow THEMSELVES to be one of many for a girl. Either i've completely missed a mentality of PUA or you're being an AFC in allowing the girl do whatever she pleases. Any thoughts?

I'm not saying, sit in your room and don't go out unless i'm there....i'm saying if the situation is that i'm one of other guys, then she simply isn't worth the saliva of the other low value men. It's like me trying to have social proof with the biggest/fattest sluts i could find, JUST to prove "i can get something"....not searching for the best there is with people of high value.

Hey slyder. To be honest, I'd get rid of this girl... with all the information you've given us I have drawn only one conclusion. You still care about her and want her to change her ways so she can attract a quality guy. You don't like seeing her with other guys because you know she can do better, and the overall feeling I get from this is that deep down you actually want her for yourself. The quality guy you want her to find is you. Hear me out here. You know me, I'm an honest guy and I'm making my feelings known for good reason. Most guys in your situation would just be pissed off with this girl and get rid of her, or they'd want to keep her around for random hookups because she's easy.

You on the other hand want to help her, make her a better person, help her change her wicked ways so she can find herself a man who appreciates her and loves her for who she is. The bottom line is, whether you want her for yourself or you genuinely do want her to find someone else of high value, she will only change if she wants to. Humans are creatures of habit and she will keep doing what she's doing until she realises for herself that she needs a lifestyle change. If you try to make her change you will only make her more rebellious and she'll end up hating you and spreading shit about you, which you really don't need.

You're gonna have to become her very best friend in the whole wide world to gain her trust and form a really deep bond so you can learn about what she truly wants, that way you can help her make the necessary changes to make that a reality for her. However, if you want her for yourself and the only reason you wanna make her change is so that she doesn't lower your value by being seen with you then you really need to rethink things and get rid of her, because it won't work out the way you want it to if you have that underlying motive.

First of all . . . control yourself. Do you love this chick or do you not? Do you want to place her in your harem or do you not? Control your your mind. You say you don't care about her but you want HER TO BEHAVE this way and that way. You started fooling around with her again but you think the "other guys" who fool around with her are tools. You think she can do better, yet YOU are a member of HER HAREM. Not only is it possible for you to be her little "bitch", you are a full card carrying member of her BITCH CLUB.

Sorry to be harsh but face reality man. Don't let her tool you like this. The emotions you are feeling are either consciously or unconsciously being played by your girl. Dude, just for one sec, read your posts as if it was written by a damn chick. Just go ahead and do it. You are practically breaking my heart.

Look, she's the one with multiple hook ups, controlling her sets, and getting(one of) her bitches all riled up about it. . . and the one who's bitching is going back for more. Hey, any chance you can get her to post her techniques on this forum?

Dude . . . work on your inner game. Control your inner game. Control yourself first. Unless you do, as I wrote on my first response, you will F up your game with this chick . . . and unless you can admit to yourself that you've been a total BITCH in this situation and you are ready to move on, you will F up your future sarges as well. I feel for you. I truly do. I've been there before. I'm totally serious. Move on . . .

Gotta agree with the D man here....

The script has been flipped... ya know that girl that always complains about dating the jerk and wonders why she is being dicked around? Thats you. Do not be with someone to try to change them. It will frustrate the hell out of you because it will never work.

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

I'm going to go by each of your 'points'

-You should not care what other guys she's hooking up with anymore unless you're still in love. But from what I see it's just an obsession.
-I think she knows that she's exposing her tits to the world. You probably don't need to tell her what's going on with that because she already knows. Like I said before don't overinvolve yourself with this girl.
-Why are you so concerned for her? You shouldn't be unless you're in love with her. In my opinion youre not in love with her, you're just obsessed with whatever sexual encounters you've had with her. You need to move on.

overall, i think you really need to get away from this girl because i think she is messing with your mind. i don't think you should be around her because it's messing up the way you think. unless you're still in love with her but i dont think thats it. i think its just an obsession. you should move on and try to get with other girls instead. If there's a lesson to be learned, she will learn it eventually. Don't treat her like a child even if she acts like one because she has to learn to grow up. She has to learn to mature. Eventually she'll know what's right for her or she will pay consequences. Even if you butt in, it will not save her. It will only sacrifice your happiness.

In your answer, nowhere are you clear about what you want for YOU. They are all to do with HER. It doesn't look like you've let her know. Honesty is the best option.

In terms of dealing with disrespect, the next time she calls you something like that, tell her this:

"Hey, can I tell you something?"
"What?"
"FUCK YOU."

And walk out and don't turn back. Let her get in touch, don't give in and move on. She'll get the picture pretty quickly. Manage your expectations and don't drop YOUR standards. Worrying about HER is NEEDY BEHAVIOUR. She's a girl who can handle herself, understand THAT.

You can't change people, or convince them through words. They make up their own minds, and you need to make up yours.

Tell her that "I need to find a quality girl to be with, and hanging around you isn't helping, to be frank." Because dude, it isn't. Cos while you're thinking about her, she could be taking it both ways with 2 drunk guys she met a few hours ago. Not cool, man. Start over, if she gives you shit, END it. Seriously, END it. Be a man.

Unless you have what Greene calls, the "Rescuer" mentality, which basically means you thrive on helping people in dire situations. Somehow, doing this with THIS particular girl won't help ur game from what you've written.