There have probably been a few posts about this, but I really needed to vent.

For many years people have bashed me for being predictable, unoriginal, and lacking in spontaneity. Not being outgoing, and not being social enough. A lot of what they said really hurt, and while many of them were damned hypocrites, I took all this too heart at the time. This weekend I started to break free.

For the first time I told two of my close friends about my involvement in the PU Community, and swore them to secrecy. For now, I don't know who I can trust, who will support me, and who will judge me. So far I've been fortunate enough that the few that I've opened up to about it have been very supportive. For years I've received the "It will happen with time" line, much to my frustration, in response to the lack of prospects in my life. For the first time this weekend, on a whim I decided to be spontaneous and drive to another town, 2 hours away, to go clubbing with two friends from out-of-town, who showed true support by forcing me to dive head-first into opening sets, talking up random people, dancing with different women, or who just provided moral support. None of this "Patience - with time" BS.

Later this weekend I met with another (completely different) friend, who started telling me about her roommate. Apparently her roommate has a bit of a PUA side, who one day met a girl randomly on the street, struck up a conversation with her, and #-closed. This friend of mine described her roommate with considerable disdain, thinking that to chat up random individuals was a sin or a crime. That her roommate saw every woman as a prospective possibility, which was somehow terrible. And that he treated all women with a lack of respect. Clearly this girl is a Hater.

I can't speak for her roommate but I can speak for me, when I say, Fuck You to all you fucking Haters. I swear. These people don't understand what AFCs have had to go through. What many of us (if not all) in this Community have probably had to go through at one point or another. This woman speaks as if striking up conversations is a horrible thing. THIS is what is wrong with society today. We are so shut in, so introverted, and look down so much on people who try to be outgoing, that it is actually crippling. She says that to look at every woman as a possibility is a shame. So, then, does this mean we go through life trying not to be attracted to members of the opposite (or same, depending) sex? Holding off on NATURAL human NEEDS and WANTS until such a time as it is "appropriate"? Let me say this, for every AFC out there, whether they know it or not, waiting until you feel that it is all right to be attracted to someone will get you fucked. Waiting and pretending until you build a friendship, will get you fucked. Waiting for ANYTHING in this world, will get you fucked. And not seeing every person, place, and situation as an opportunity for self-improvement and growth will have you staying in every Friday night watching reruns of star wars in a friends basement - fucked.

And finally, for those who say that members of the Community objectify women - fuck you. Of course there are members who will objectify women. But of course there are members who don't. And while I don't speak for every member, I speak for me - who dares defend the number of fucking women in MY life who showed me so very little respect when I tried to spark a relationship with any of them? Who dares to defend the many women who LJBF'd me because they weren't ATTRACTED to me? Where the fuck was the respect when I built solid foundations on friendship before trying for something more? I never used to look at a girl as a prospect until I got to know her - and where does that get me? Years of wasted time and effort, scrambling through life waiting for it to just "happen." Exactly how long am I supposed to wait for that?

So, now, after being bashed for my lack of spontaneity, socialism and freedom, people are turning around and saying what this bitch friend of mine has said above. Let me say this - I believe in PU. I believe in what it can do for guys who have been type-casted time and again into the AFC role. And I believe in its ability to improve the areas of our lives that have been neglected, or starved, never truly receiving the help it needs because there are so many out there who say, "It will happen with time."

Yes. It does "just happen" for some. It doesn't "just happen" for others - not because they are ugly or because they're losers, but because they were never enabled with the proper social tools to know when a romance is about to spark.

Haters, Players and Students. I'm a student. I'm lucky to have a few people who can support me. But I guess there are always going to be Haters, and I'll have to watch my back. Haters are people who don't understand what many AFCs have had to go through. What many guys are STILL going through. Because they themselves are so fucked up. Pigeonholed into their own introverted lives. Shut in. They judge. They demean. And in the end, they fail. Because if you don't take advantage of opportunities that are made available, and create opportunities when not, where the fuck are you going in life?

I got one word to describe PUAs:

Entrepreurial.

Cheers,

Q.

Bravo!

I get so pissed off hearing the "it will happen with time" BS from everyone.
What every AFC must know is that it WILL NOT "happen" out of the blue.
A HB isn't gonna come knocking on your bedroom door for no reason.

I used to be a hater, now I am a student. As a past hater I feel I have a relatively unique perspective of PU. Of course, back then, I didn't know PU existed at all as a community.

Ignorance is dangerous.

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"The Game.... Is 90% Confidence, 9% Technique, and 1% Looks. You can't win unless you play it"

Nice rant. It looks like you are on the way to becoming a good PUA. ( I am not saying this out of experience, I am pretty early on in my PUA journey, but it seems true to me). I think that there is a point that we get to where the haters get on our backs. But it isn't that they are introverted and judgemental. It is more that they just don't understand the craft. The Game is there to teach us how to socialize with women. It teaches us how to open a conversation with women and to BE that man that 'swept them off their feet' that they always dreamed of.

I guarantee that if the haters (the girls at least) got gamed by a PUA, they would love every minute of it and would probably beg for more. They really just don't understand the pain that an AFC has when trying to talk to women, that he gets scared to talk to them, then disappointed at himself for not talking to them. But in the same way, we don't really WANT the haters to understand the game, because then there would be less for us

Sorry if that was all disjointed and jumbled, I am tired. The concepts and ideas are there, you can unjumble them if you want. I am going to bed.

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It is only in your failures that you have any chance of success

hahaha fuck, i used to tell myself that line all the time- 'its just a matter of time before a girl i like will come along and like me back'. i cant believe how fucking stupid i was. if anything its shown me you gotta make things happen on your own, and its up to you to achieve your goals

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When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold

Kudos, thats exactly why I've decided to study the PU art. You've hit the nail on the head of what most AFCs face!

very similar to what Strauss said when a feminist reviewer/PUA-hater criticised The Game.

She asked why men needed PU, why they couldn't be considerate, communicative, open and willing to share their emotions.

Strauss replied "if any of those things worked, I wouldn't have had to write this book"

To add to what Dublin has said: Most AFCs don't have the courage or the self-confidence to be "considerate, communicative, open and willing to share their emotions." Why? Well there are any number of reasons depending on the person.

Non-AFC guys (but not PUAs) usually have the confidence but lack the social aptitude (i.e. the jocky dumbasses that hit on women).

Becoming a confident individual is not an easy thing, when you've lacked confidence or the proper encouragement most of your life. People make it sound so easy.

In the past few weeks I've discovered which of my friends are Haters, and which ones are supporters. And to be honest, the best ones are supporters. It's just disappointing because lately, I've started to view most women I meet as viable prospects (assuming they were attractive and interesting enough), but even that has me being judged. Some have told me that's the way you've got to live, because honestly, getting hung up on one girl invites a world of disaster. You spend so much time pouring your affection into one person that you neglect other people and opportunities in your life.

Others, however, are of the opinion that viewing every new person in your life as a prospect is a horrible thing. That it is disrespectful, desperate, and pathetic.

So then.... let me understand this. We just WAIT around for people to pass by us every day until one of them happens to talk to us. And even THEN we aren't allowed to pursue something? Because somehow it is pathetic or desperate?

There's something interesting that I'd like to share - the idea of online dating. No offense to anyone, but my view on things like online dating, speed dating, blind dates, etc. etc.... is that it's like.... dating on steroids. Why? Because the work is done for you. Not that that's a bad thing, but PU requires SO much more - inner game and outer game. Building confidence and charisma. But then, why is it such a bad thing to view every person as a new prospect.... when there are people doing that online.... all the fucking time? The only difference is that the online dating service has pooled all the people together and taken real life out of the picture. Now EVERYONE is looking to hook up. All you need to do is post a picture. There is no work to be done - no AA to overcome. No conversational skills to develop. No inner confidence to build. I don't mean to insult anyone, I'm just trying to defend PU, when so many other people put it down. The key thing is this - those people online have to go offline at some point. Does that mean a girl is no longer interested if a smart, funny, charming guy comes along in person?

Let me leave you with this: Just because a girl isn't looking, doesn't mean she doesn't want to be found. So never apologize for the way you live your life.

Cheers,

Q.