In quite a situation here. Not really pickup, but pickup methodology would help here. I'm interested in a girl who's madly in love with her ex and is trying really hard to get him back. The thing is, this guy is a total dick. He's not physically abusive, but he messes with the girl emotionally. I think he still likes her, but wants her to suffer a bit so that when he gets her back, he's set. I'm friends with two of her closest friends (intentionally won them over as friends when I first met the girl) and they agree with me that he is screwing with her head.

This girl listens to everything the guy says. She abandoned a guy friend of hers in order to please him in the hopes that he would take her back. Didn't work and now he goes back and forth between demanding more from her and ignoring her. This is obviously hurting her.

I want to help her out, but I don't know what to do. She used to have a thing for me, either that or she used me to make him jealous, can't really tell because she's an emotional mess, but my main goal isn't really to win her over and have her be my girl. I really just genuinely want to help her. Why? Well part of it is because I'm jealous of the guy, but most of it is that I care about what happens to her and this guy is just screwed up. I wouldn't try to do this if it was just me, but her two friends agree that he is ridiculously controlling and abusive and her family wants her to get rid of him too.

I've thought about boyfriend destroyers , but those seem to only work when the girl is not in love with the boyfriend or has some doubts about their relationship. Plus any time anyone gives her advice, it turns into a her+him vs. everyone else mentality. Obviously this is no good. Plus it's not really a boyfriend. In this case, it's an ex-boyfriend that the girl is madly in love with and will do almost anything to get him back. I'm stuck here. I've considered just staying away from the mess, but I just can't. Pickup to me is definitely leaving girls better than when you met them (Mystery/Style... i don't remember). And this girl seriously needs help, but will not listen.

I would actually move on myself. If the girls 2 BFFs can't convince her this guy is an idiot not worth spending time with than how can you? BF destroyers don't work so well on chicks with emotional abuse issues. Do you want to be her SECOND choice in life AFTER an emotionally abusive a-hole. That is just bad news no matter how you slice it. Plus if she leaves him for you, she'll leave you for someone else. Sorry bro, but you can do a lot better than this one, now go get her.

ya dude that sucks. although i used to be a huge asshole myself and was once in the ex boyfriends position, for that i can never apologize enough to the girl. however i did realize that when i was in that situation nothing could turn the girl away from me, be it her very best friend in the whole world, or her sister, or even myself being an ass to her. she was just geniunely in love and i couldnt change it. so to be in ur spot i think ur probably shit out of luck. hope the guy has a sudden change of heart and completely distances his self from her, which is what i did. i think you should stay out of the mess buddy.

Get some of the guys from her family together, explain them the situation, and go out and kick this guys teeth out of his head. Explain to him that if he continues contact with her, he will lose control of his anus and will shit in his pants the rest of his life do to severe rectal trauma by a foreign object. Namely, your foot.

Seriously, this guy is a total coward, and cowards respond best to physical violence. Plus he is a serious shit head jerk, and deserves physical violence. Not to mention, he's probably such a douchebag, you wont even need to resort to physical violence; the mere threat will do.

The girl is messed up bad, she will hate you guys for it at first, but the first step on the road to recovery for her is to be seperated from the influence of the evil bastard who is fucking her mind over. In time she will thank you all.

Trust me on this one, I really am not kidding in any way.

The reason she's so attracted to her ex is that he gave her emotional spikes. They were negative emotional spikes, but they were emotional spikes nonetheless. Emotionally affect her GREATER than he has, but in the positive direction (happiness and stuff) instead of negative (being a douche).

Big challenge, yes. Worth it, totally.

never get with a girl who likes another dude....never. It will never work.

The best thing you can do is give her time to get over him.. Theres nothing you can say or do to make her change her mind.. Maybe if you freeze her out for a while she'll realize what a good guy you are and want you back in her life.. thats all i can think of.

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Alright thanks for the insight guys. In the past week, I've managed to up her interest a bit, but I still feel like she's using me as a backup (sort of). I've done what Chief does and it's probably what's making her come to me lately. She has initiated all our conversations (texts or calls) in the past 7 days and I've tried my best not to be too available, but I also don't want to treat her like her ex so I'm giving her emotional spikes, as chief refers to them, in the positive direction.

I'm seeing her soon and I'd like to know what I can do to possibly close the deal with her. Maybe not as in a relationship with her, but maybe just to mess around so she knows there's something better out there than her ex. Either that or maybe I just really want some from her. Anyway, I wrote about it in another thread since I didn't see that people replied to this one. Please merge the threads if needed. Here's the thread: here-vp207435.html#207435


Or if you don't want to click on it, here's what I wrote in there: