It's been a long day and it's only 4.25 PM. Mustv' been the hot temperature stretching time; Only a few degrees hotter and you could have called it tropical. From behind every machine, piles of wood or other things you find in a typical company that sells closetdoors to particular stores, people are walking in the same direction, like bees swarming towards their hive after a hard day's work. I'm one of the worker bees, and like the rest, I'm heading for the clocking device so I can clock my way outta here.
Everyone is chattering away as they take their coats and bags out from their lockers. I never stick around for chatter simply because there would be noöne left to chatter with. And if there would be, weeeell... They're not the kind of people I hang around with anyway.
Approaching the small black box hanging on the wall, a familiar thought strikes my mind. Maybe I'll have a quick drink before driving back home? I'm on my (t)rusty old bike today, and the 5 mile journey back home seems like a long one at this moment. So I open the door left to the clocking device, making my way to the canteen.
The canteen is empty and clean, and as I close the door behind me, the airfilling sound of running machines waiting to be shut down clears way for a calming silence. I love the sound of an empty canteen; It's the sound of being able to drink and eat without others expecting you to say something in between the bites.
Except the canteen isn't empty.
Walking towards the vending machine, I notice someone standing by the kitchen dressers. It's a brunette HB8, and without looking her in the eyes, I can tell she's searching for a connection with mine. I walk on, Even though time is standing still. A voice I didn't know was there untill about six months ago, starts to scream at my consciense: "OPEN HER! OPEN HER!" Ignoring it, I continue to walk on with firm steps. I know my body is confident; that's not the issue. It's my voice that's nervous as hell. To noöne in particular -wich is stupid because the only one in the room is her- the words "Just gonna grab me a drink... For the long ride home" carefully slip from my mouth.
Don't show embarrasment.
Don't trip over your own feet.
Don't start banging your head against a wall.
I walk past her and notice the sweetest sound... She's laughing!
She's laughing over the stupidest comment ever. Is this an IOI? Every braincell I have is metaphorically nodding at me. I respond to this wonderfull discovery by... doing absolutely nothing at all. Two, Three seconds pass as I fill a plasic cup with orange juice, and another three as I empty it in one gulp. A small wall prevents me from seeing her, and vice versa.
Part of me is thinking "Thank God!".
Another part is thinking "God Dammit".
The cup is empty and there are now two options left for me to choose from. Choosing option number two, I start walking towards the door without looking at her. Suddenly an overwhelming urge to just freakin' say something fills my entire mind. The best I can come up with is "Hey, haven't seen you around here before. Are you new?" which wouldn't even have sounded bad if I had actually said it.
What I actually say is a louzy "see you later", right before I open the door. For one last dreamy second before time starts flowing again, I hear her sweet voice behind me saying "See yah!", and I wonder if she meant to say it so enthousiastic. IOI? Maybe.
Closing the door behind me and stepping back into reality, my heart punches my chest like it does everytime I miss an opportunity. Don't worry, I'm getting used to it. Or wait, I probably SHOULD worry about that, shouldn't I? This girl, who had been working in the office all day, between men not younger than forty-five, wanted someone to cheer her up. To make her smile on another endlessly long and boring day. I could have been that someone. I didn't want to kiss her, didn't need her number. Hell, I didn't even care about fucking her! Just having a conversation with her, having a connection with her, that would have been enough for me. Hopefully next time I see her, she won't remember me as that wussy who couldn't even hold a normal conversation. Maybe, just maybe, she'll se me as that mysterious guy who turned out to be quite a charmer...
CHAT
Don't hesitate next time. I'm sure you had what it took, so just walk up and talk. Good luck.