Supa....Wassupa?
hehehe i had to write that man!
I read your post and I can relate to what your feeling. Straight off the bat...you have made it clear that you are NOT happy with your life at the moment. The other thing i notice is that you want to change. One great thing to focus on is that you made the effort to post about your problems. As the old cliche goes, the first step is accepting you have a problem. Now your on your way to making a new life change.
Around 4 years ago my life was in the pits. I was smoking ganja every night, not exercising at all, and drinking like a fish at parties and clubs...leaving me drunk, lonely and angry at the world. Amazingly, I was able to snare a hot girl friend one summer a few years back. I was in heaven. She was a dancer, a virgin (heheheh not anymore
) and I fell in love and I thought I would be with her for the rest of my life. Well I guess I can say I was more than devastated when she dumped my arse!!! I went into depression and really started hating myself.
I decided that life had hit rock bottom and i had to become the man I wanted to be. A confident, strong, stylish man who had great women in his life. I stopped smoking ganja, joined the gym and a boxing club and the bought a bunch of self help books. I immersed myself in The Game and various PUA references. As of today, I'm becoming that man. I have women in my life, great friends and great health. I'm also starting a website on these topics. Please check it out if you can relate to what im saying, the web page is in my sig.
Onto some advice for you! Everybody goes through stages of depression concerning their life, health, wealth and their looks. Its natural. There are a few things you can do for yourself.....SLEEP!!!! You need to get more sleep, 7-10 hours a night. This is a huge factor in managing depression and fatigue. You need to organize your priorities and then organize your weekly schedule in order to get the sleep you need. I cannot stress this enough. If you are DJ'ing every night, then you need to sleep in the day. Or cut back gigs (im a working musician myself and it gets hard to turn down the cash...but whats more important...happiness or wealth?).
The next step is to join a gym or start exercising at least three times a week. When you look great, you feel great, women will notice and it helps to motivate you. If you want more information, PM me and i can send you programs and health tips. I also suffer from dermatitis in winter and i have some great advice on skin care!
I think an underlying problem in your case could be a lack of confidence. Not having the desire to game really comes down to only a few things and confidence is one of them. When a person is afraid of failure, they lose the hunger of success. I recommend trying a confidence program like Demonic Confidence. If you have never heard of it, again, check out my blogs. I'm currently doing the course now and its one of the greatest things i have done with my life! Once you have tried this or similar courses, go back to the game and relearn the foundations, go out and pick up a few girls. The more you practice your art, the better you will get and in turn, you will find a greater love for your life.
I hope this helps.
Peace
CHAT