"Escalation anxiety" Have you had this problem?



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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 2:19 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:34 am
Posts: 120
Ok, so I've though about this and I've realized that I have some sort of Escalation Anxiety.

I don't have much of a problem going talking to a HB and opening her up and getting her number. No problem either with arranging a day 2 and having fun with her, the problem is that I have a bit of a problem escalating things up to the kiss.

Basically I have the feeling that I want to be 99,9% sure that she won't reject the kiss. This is not a problem when I game a girl a bit longer, the point comes up eventually.

But then there are the problem cases, girls that I'd just like to f-close. Many of them I have just faded out, dropping them because things didn't escalate because I just wasn't sure enough. But if I think about it.. If I have a solid 60% chance of k-closing and later maybe f-closing, why the hell wouldn't I go for it, because if it doesn't work out, well.. Then I wouldn't need that particular girl anyway?

Maybe its my old slow-moving gentleman AFC style thats still showing from below, I don't know.

Anybody else have or have had a similar problem? Comments and/or recommendations are also very welcome :)


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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:25 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:44 pm
Posts: 210
Location: US
What you are experiencing is completely normal. There's a couple of different reason why you might do this. It's all inner game- I think the only outer game problem you have is letting things go stale when you don't close. You need to work on your mentality, and change your thinking.

You could be afraid of rejection. If you've had problems getting rejected at one stage, then you will hit a wall at that stage until you overcome your fear of rejection.

You could also be unused to getting f-closes and k-closes. If you've been unsuccessful with women before, and suddenly you're picking them up all the time, you might have problems bringing yourself to close.

You could also have mental barriers to closing. If you hold beliefs that go against closing, then you could have problems. For instance, if you are using NLP on a target, but you think that NLP is sneaky manipulation, then you won't close properly. That's just an example off the top of my head, of course.

Think carefully about your inner game, and try to pick out your limiting beliefs. Once you identify them, you can work on them.

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-The good can never be measured, but the great can never be controlled-


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