I know puas preach the concept of abundance theory and ways to avoid oneitis.

What about that one girl who you do meet that is a game changer? I'm sure everyone knows someone like this. I've been single for 2.5 years and pick up is starting to take its toll. I love women and meeting new girls, but having a gf could be a nice change of pace.

I'm friends with this hot and super cool chick that just broke up with her on and off again long distance boyfriend. We are attracted to each other but I keep getting mixed signals. We've made out and she says she likes me, but can't promise anything. I know she needs time to get over the break up. I friend zoned her the other day, but later that night i ended up sleeping over her place and we had a great time (no sex yet).

I think I should try to keep things chill and not be overly aggressive. Mostly because that's exactly what I want to do and I've learned through past mistakes that I probably shouldn't do this lol. We are friends, hang out a lot so I'm just unsure. It's hard not to kiss her since we have already and we are both very attracted to each other. But if I really want to date this girl I feel that I need to play games and just be a friend right now and give her some more space.

Thanks,
Risen

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Thing is, and I'm sorry, but there are no gamechangers. Remember, oneitis isn't just a term for monogamy, nor will anybody with an ounce of intelligence tell you that wanting a relationship is bad. But let's observe the facts you have provided as objectively as we can, okay?

1. You have not had sex with her.

2. You want a girlfriend. So you're a bit more vulnerable because you want the good result. You want the relationship, so you are willing to put up with more than if you weren't particularly big on it.

3. Girl has on/off boyfriend. When has this ever been good? She's indecisive with him, she'll be that way with you.

4. She says she likes you, but can't promise anything. This is the big one, that most of us have gone through. Women say this when they want options. You are her backup, her benchwarmer, plan b, whatever for when things go south with the boyfriend.

Okay, those are the facts, as you presented them, along with my take on the problems these pose. Now for my opinions:

1. Nobody ever got laid by being a friend. That's it, actually. She won't fall want to fuck you because you two are friendly. At some point, you have to make a momve.

2. Abundance hs its reasons. Don't assume that this girl is the best one on the planet, because the fact that she's stringin you along proves she isn't. The point of that abundance mentality is to avoid being pussywhipped as well as finding the best possible women for you and what you want. You want a relationship? Then find a woman you are attracted to who wants the same thing, because this one doesn't.

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