Right when I pulled up into the parking lot, I closed my eyes and used my visualization skills. I pictured myself walking through the door with no problems, everyone was happy to see me. When I got in, I pictured myself getting along with everyone and making friends. The funny thing is, that’s exactly what happened! I felt like the Chang Sing crew in Big Trouble in Little China when they drank from the “Six Demon Bag” right before fighting the Wing Cong! I was standing in the middle of a room with loud heavy metal music playing. Everyone was smashing into each other, and there I stood, in perfect harmony and acceptance with the world around me.
Some revelations about talking to women did come up for me. Yes, I visualized…yes that helped, but I was still afraid to just walk up and approach women. A rock club is a very intimidating and non-idealistic place to pick up women. I have decided to rattle off a list of exactly why these are non-ideal locations.
1. Too much aggression: Right when you get into these places, there are large men slamming into each other. Well, more like “smashing” into each other. The scene seems to be about getting rid of pent up aggression in a Semi-controlled environment. It is also the norm to drink until one passes out in a corner at these events. Too much liquid courage? Although, many sweat it out as they run the length of a half marathon in a circle the size of half the room.
2. The women are usually with a guy: Hard core metal shows usually produce a few stereo types of women. The most obvious to me, comes from the Movie Airheads, where the only people there are the other bands and their girlfriends. This is not just witty cinema folks! Most of the girls that frequent these events are with a member of the band, or some other jack ass that drags her along. Now, not to say that there aren’t women that enjoy a good metal show. These ones are usually embedded in the culture and are with a tight nit group who is already established. You will have to penetrate the group in order to get to her. The other kinds of women who are there are Liquor Pimps, Groupies (who just want to fuck the band members), and insane, drug addicted, woman with severe personality disorders.
3. They are there to watch the bands, not to talk to you. In order for you to get their attention, you have to be more entertaining than the showmen on stage. Good luck!
4. It is a music venue, so it is louder than a regular club. Trying to talk at one of these places is impossible. There are no quiet areas. The best approach here is to Use non-verbal communication like butt bumping, hand movements, and facial expressions. I for one will look at a girl next to a circle pit and bump her with my butt and say, “this is how we pit around here…butt bump!” It’s cute and playful. It sounds counter intuitive but always gets a smile.
Unless you are real secure with yourself, I don’t recommend Picking up women at such a violent place. Chances of hitting on someone else’s woman is very high, and that evolutionary threat of a bunch of Neanderthals beating you senseless is very real in that type of environment. The rock club has a very “tribe driven” mentality. It is a tight sub-culture.
In the end, I realize this is nothing more than a list of excuses. Although, I do approach, and am usually successful at making women attracted to me, I find that in order to be a master, these are a few hurdles in which I reflect on, and look forward to challenging myself next time.