K, I didn't read your posts but I'm gonna teach you the meaning of a strong frame.
I was having a discussion with PrettyBoy41 about the fact that he dislikes his nickname and told him that if he had a strong frame, that people would call him whatever he wanted them to. I use my alias among my friends and girls now because I have never been happy with the name given me by my parents, it never fit who I was inside and caused me to feel less than on the outside.
I told the girl that I'm seeing that I had given her my alias and told her my real name and asked her which she would prefer to call me. It is obvious that I prefer to be called Rye and it suits who I am much better these days, so she said she liked that name much better. Keep in mind this is a serious relationship, not just a little fling, I'm exclusive with this girl, so this isn't just like some random girl I fuck and she uses a pet name or nickname because we have so little connection.
Now the stage is set:
Quote:
lol i dont frame control my friends man. i consider them equals, whether they are or not they merit respect enough to have imputs and to jokingly insult me or w/e. i do it to them, they me, thats what friends do. of course in the presence of women its different, lol they have kinda learned to take a back seat and just listen and watch while i work
You're looking at it from the wrong perspective, come take a look at it from where I am *pats the seat beside him*.
Having a strong frame doesn't mean you have to dominate your friends' frames. You have the power to be confident and energetic, without forcing it upon others, although they will feel it and it will affect them in a positive way. You can be self aware and know when something has a positive or negative effect upon you and having the confidence to know that you deserve things that have a positive effect, such as respect is important.
I demand respect from those around me, whether they are my parents, my sister, my best friends, people I've just met, or the girls I have relationships with. That isn't arrogance, nor is it uncalled for, because I give them respect back in kind. This doesn't mean that we can't bust each other's balls (c'mon you fucking KNOW me! Do you think for one second that I can carry on a conversation without throwing some friendly digs in?), but we do it in the context of friendship and respect.
There are lines and when they cross one, I let them know without being a jerk and they know not to cross that line again because it demonstrates a lack of respect for me, which means that I have no reason to show respect for them. Me and the boys in the lair are all good friends and we treat each other with respect, but that doesn't mean I can't crack a joke like last night when a new guy came out and I say, "Yeah, don't listen to this guy, he's just a Clown, nothing but a Dancing Monkey. He's a lot of fun, but he can't attract a girl worth shit, that's why he's still a virgin!" We all laugh and I pat my buddy on the back, because aside from me, he's top dog and so it's all in good fun. I don't say stuff like that to the guys that ARE trying to get over being clowns, because that hurts them and shows a lack of respect for the effort they are putting in to changing.
Have a strong frame and be sure of yourself and what you deserve man, but that doesn't mean you push it upon others. Let them know your boundries and treat them with the same respect they treat you with, if not a little more, so that they have nothing to hold over you when you have an issue with how THEY are treating YOU. If the name they call you by makes you feel less than what you deserve, then you tell them you don't appreciate it and that you would rather that they call you something else of your choosing, then you crack a little joke to let them know that you're not being a bitch about it, you just want them to respect your boundries.
CHAT
