Ok straght to the point.

Just ended a 3.5 year relationship with a HB 10, almost perfect girl, my fist true love, my longest relationship, my deepest connection...

I feel like shit, i feel fucking lost, angry and broken into pieces, unmotivated and fucked up..

It was going to an end and i knew this, this is the six or seventh time we split up, but this time it is over for sure. I told her that i can't be with her anymore.. cant say i regret it.. but why am i feeling so damn fucking bad right now? I have dreams where we are still together laying on the bed and cuddling and i feel this closeness and connection and then i wake up and regret that it was just a dream...

I could get her back but the relationships would never be the same again, i would lose my power, i would have to go against my principles and become beta in the relationship. And she does not want beta, she needs a man, so the relationship would end anyway soon.

You may ask why did i ended this relationship.. Because it was going to the dead end, i was not satisfied with my sex life, plus she started to give me the "i don't need your opinion" attitude. I told her it was unacceptable and that I'm not going to put up with this kind off things....

When i was with her i was the SHIT, i was NOBODY is school, but in university i was GOD because she was the MOST beautiful girl there and i was the one that fucked her while others were only masturbating thinking of her. When i was going out with her i was getting so much female attention that it was just amazing, girls frequently crabbed my ass and gave me massive IOI.... it never happened when i was alone...

I feel that i lost my value, because she is not with me anymore. And going after girl less special would decrease my value and self perception even more.

I really don't know why i wrote this here, just maybe just needed to get it all out.

I actually feel better now, like really better.. its strange

After i wrote "...perception even more" i had a lot of things to write, but they all suddenly became irrelevant, as if i was making them up, but they fucking felt so real when i started this shit... I think I'm just emotionally unstable right now, sorry for the waste of your time if you read it

You just broke up from a serious relationship, it is natural to feel heartache and all the emotions you have, the key is to deal with it in a healthy way, that makes you stronger and not to be destructive, or become depressed.

Think about the good times and treasure them, but remember that it was you that ended the relationship because it wasn't going where you desired and even if it had been her that ended it, it doesn't matter, because if it was meant to be, it would be. You had irreconcileable differences (shit you just couldn't find common ground on and never would), so this is better for you. You learned a lot and got a lot of enjoyment out of the relationship, but that doesn't mean that the next girl, or the one after that won't be even better.

As far as lowering your value and not being able to find a better looking girl is concerned, I think you need to look deep into yourself and realise that this is a shallow perception of the situation. If it were about looks, then you would still be with her. You were having personality conflicts, so when you find a girl that is an 8 or 9 that has a personality that meshes better with yours, you will be more attracted to her, due to the fact that you have better chemistry and then she will be YOUR 10.

Not being with her doesn't lower your value, because you are the same person you were when you were with her, you just no longer have that attachment to her, big deal. Are you any less attractive? Are you any less intelligent or funny? Do you no longer know how to talk to a woman, just because you aren't with this girl? NO. You are still all of the things you were before, so it doesn't matter whether she is your gf or not. As long as you remember that and retain the confidence in yourself, then you lose no value, you gain value for being able to recover from this and become stronger, which is rare and highly respected by both men and women.

This may be the best thing that has ever happened to you and the only way you'll find out, is by continuing to live your life and be the man you always have been.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Apology accepted.



But seriously, yeah. I think most of us on this forum can relate to you. It's always rough when you're at the end of a beautiful pair-bond, but always remember that you've got to be internally validated. Your true value of who you are isn't from an external source like having a beautiful girlfriend. Your true value of who you are is from just that... who you are.

I hope you can find pride in who you are because you certainly should be. Every decision you have made in your life thus far has been the best choice you could have possibly made toward the goals you had with the circumstances and wisdom that you had at that time, and that's a fact. Be proud of that, and continue making GREAT decisions.

INTERNAL VALIDATION, BITCHES! HELL YEAH!

thanks for the support, i really appreciate that you took time to answer me

hey, u can play world of warcraft with me

Don't do that, it will ruin your life.

I know...

Was addicted to Warcraft 3, about 4 years ago, played all my free time, even instead of sleping. But then, Admins (god bless them) removed my account and suspended my for one month from online gaming for using map hack. Online games are evil, they are like drugs (and i can compare, i tried everything)

runescape

same.








..still

Ok, stop hijacking the thread. This isn't about MMOs, this is about a man's struggle, so show some respect.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I agree with Chief... Your girlfriend did not make you who you are, that all comes from the inside. You are still the SAME person, you are just single now. When you are ready go out and start gaming. You will see that there are other women out there...
Besides, I know that if I were looking for something longterm, I would rather have a 7-8 with a fantastic personality who I can get along with very well than a 10 who I am off and on hot and cold with.
Good luck, although considering you are on this forum I doubt you'll need it!

_________________
Time to go to work...

If you look like Mike Mentzer, you don't have to worry about a damn thing.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

Wow man you sure are into bodybuilding too. Mike has the best body i have ever seen, i started going to the gym SERIOUSLY when i was like 15-16, now I'm almost 23, but I'm not even close to that.

You are missing something here...

My girl had a wonderful personality also she was VERY smart, gentle, good in bed, had a sense of humor etc..., we had a very beautiful relationship, we were very very close. I thought about marrying her and even thought about our future kids... how they would look like, imagined having a family with her. The only thing bad about the relationship were her shit tests (especially in the beginning of the relationship), but i dot blame her for that, she needed to know that I'm really worth her.

BUT... all that being said... i was too young for marriage, i wanted to fuck other women.. yes I'm a primitive animal... However i was fateful to her, partly because i loved her, partly that i was afraid to lose her, partly because cheating with someone less special or at least less beautiful seemed inappropriate to me. Maybe i was just afraid of rejection of other women when i had the one that would not reject me and i was too fucking lazy to go out, find a girl and do what i really wanted to do with her

I know that i sound like a total jerk now, that did not value what he had and now cries about loosing it. Maybe it is true, maybe I'm the villain in this story.

The beautiful feelings that i felt for her lasted for about 6 months, then the intense feelings started to decline, but instead new more deeper feeling appeared, i started to feel really close to her, we could have lied in bed for three day doing nothing and even not talking and it felt wonderful, just to lay there and cuddle..

After about two years my desire for sex with other women was starting to get on its peak, i started to think that by being with her i am limiting myself from doing what i really want. Having lots of hot woman and enjoying life... so i started to split up with her, again and again, and this.. the last time...

OK that enough of this... I'm getting to much into this.. sorry for not finishing the point...

now there is a new point - I'm an asshole, i got what i wanted (ability to fuck other women without feeling bad about it) and now I'm afraid to get it. Somewhere deep inside sits a loser that does not want challenge, he wants fucking comfort and makes me think about my ex all the time. There is no such thing as love, we are fucking animals and its just basic impulses and instincts that guide our feelings, so i really do not love her its all a genetic excuse of my fucking brain to make me reproduce with her. Fuck that shit I'm getting laid soon, and i don't give a fuck if it will be someone special, i just need to get those fucking emotions out of myself.

Sorry again for posting this shit, i don't know what i want, i don't know why am i writing this, i don't know why the fuck I'm telling you the things i don't tell my friends... ok Im getting drunk tomorrow.

I hate to sound harsh, but the PUA forum is not a pity party. If you want specific advice about moving on then ask your question, but posting this poor me shit is not helping you or anyone. The cure for one-itis is well known. GO FUCK TEN OTHER WOMEN!!!