Losing the girl simply means exactly what it states - to lose the girl you are talking to, texting, or even going out with. When you go into a club, a coffee shop, the streets, or wherever you see a girl that strikes your eye for whatever reason, your first reaction might be "Damn! I need to go talk to her!" which is good. However your second reaction is probably something along the lines of "What do I say?" or "I really want this girl, I need to get her." Or one of the most common, "I'm not in state, I'm not in a fun energetic vibe!" This is the mindset that will never get you a girl.

Instead, make it a habit of telling yourself to be however you are and to lose this girl, but still walking up to her and following through with your intentions. If your intentions are to go up to her, talk to her, build a connection with her and see where it goes and at the same time you are willing to actually lose the girl with however you feel, with the words you say and the moves you make, there will be a freedom of words and physicality that you can express.

When I say lose the girl I don't mean gear yourself towards losing the girl by calling her names or doing overly drastic physical moves. I mean the following: usually guys feel that what they have to say is not enough to get the girl. They think that their approach will scare the girl, that their words will disgust the girl or make the girl feel awkward, and that their physical moves like touching or going for a kiss will make them lose the girl. More importantly, they think that they are not in the MOOD to go talk to the girl. They think that because they are not in a happy, elevated mood, the girl will be lost anyway. Well that is exactly what you want - to lose the girl. So with this you can now say whatever you want to the girl, touch her whenever you want and however you want, and go for the kiss, and most importantly, be CONGRUENT to how you FEEL, whether that be happy, sad, angry, tired or energetic, because you are literally willing to lose the girl. You are now allowing yourself to pester her with your presence, with your feeling, to stay with her for a long period of time and lead her where you negotiate with her to go, make all the big moves you fear will lose the girl, because you are literally willing to lose the girl.

Again, when I say lose the girl, I mean REALLY lose her with your how you feel. Allow yourself to be however you are right now, congruent to your mood and go up to her and talk to her. If you do anything else you are changing yourself for the girl because you want her and are afraid of losing her. She does not deserve special SPAM and therefore you do not need to change your mood in order to go up to her and talk to her and follow through with your intentions.

You think that you are not enough when you talk to a girl and that you have to do something special or be in some special state in order to get her. Well fuck that. How about you are just as you are, however you feel right now in the moment, be it nervous, excited, tired, energetic, walk over to her and don't do anything special and just risk losing her with your state. If she doesn't like you she doesn't like you, if she does she does.

The same goes for going for numbers or setting up dates. You think that asking her out will make her say no. Well that is exactly what you want. For her to say no. You are willing to lose the girl, which allows you to ask her out or ask for her number. Once you are willing to completely lose the girl, all the "big moves" become irrelevant. They become nothing special. They're just part of a conversation.

Couple this mentality with being genuine, being who you are and just spending time with her and allowing yourself to listen to her and laugh with her, and a deep connection can arise with the girl. Remember your intentions of talking to her, building a connection with her. But lose the girl with your genuine intentions. You think your genuine intentions are not enough. Well let them be not enough and do them anyway.

Lose the girl with your genuine, honest intentions.