| I've always wanted to post this thread, but I knew that I'd get attacked by several posters, but I don't mind it anymore, so here goes...
Just wanted to shed the light on some aspects of the friend-zone. People, it DOES NOT exist.
The friend-zone is nothing but a temporary stage you get into when you ramp up things with a girl in the wrong direction. Being friend-zoned is NOT a big deal, and you can always manage to get out of it when you set your mind into it. The girl has a boyfriend, she friend-zoned you. You did not escalate properly, she friend-zoned you. You expressed yourself as deeply emotional towards her early in the relationship, she friend-zoned you.
I have struggled a lot with this issue and I've been friend-zoned several times (9 if I am precise). And out of all of these 9 attempts, I managed to get out of 6, and I can get out of the other 3 if I just push harder and just act already. I am currently struggling with one of the strongest friend-zoning situations (From best friends, to hook up with no sex, to friends again). I will put my mind into it, and I will get out soon enough because I know I can.
Girls are sexual creatures and there is no way in hell they'd put you in that zone for too long, unless you want them to. They know you like them, they know that you'd like nailing them anytime they propose it, all you need to do is to build that trust bond and escalate again. Nice guys are always friend-zoned due to the fact that they are boring and plain predictable, but wait, girls want excitement and one hell of an amazing ride. I mean, why would I want to keep hooking up with a girl who is plain boring, lazy, introvert and keeps talking about herself? I won't, because I simply don't enjoy being with her.
ALL you need to do is to work on YOURSELVES. The problem people have getting out of the friend-zone is that they keep saying the old casual repetitive stuff again "No one would ever love you like I did", "Just give me a chance and I'll prove you wrong", "I really like you", "I trust you", etc etc...
CHANGE is the only word that I can recommend. Strengthen your inner game, become alpha. Work on your life, make it one hell of a memorable experience, try everything single thing that comes into your mind. Work on your body language and physical appearance, learn and read about everything you are passionate about.
You like psychology? Big deal, a 100, if not a 1000, men have already told her that they love psychology. What matters the most is that you make her FEEL how interested you are in the topic. Get up and do some research and learn in depth about your passions, widen your knowledge circle, don't always say you like this and you like that without knowing shit about what you're talking about, MAKE THEM FEEL AND LIVE the moment you're in by knowing about everything you love.
Work on everything that has to do with you. Attraction comes from self improvement, and girls would literally crave a guy who keeps improving daily.
What I learned is that the friend-zone is just a temporary stage, don't over think it. If you want to get out of it, just learn to improve your inner-game and work on it, along with your outer game. Need help? Use the forums, it's ok to ask for advice. I, myself, do ask for advice even when I know the answer. Besides, no one would know the exact case or bond you have with this girl except you, but you can always learn a bit more from other people, so don't be afraid to ask for help.
Peace
|