Saw this on quora: http://b.qr.ae/Hes3Gp

Thought it warranted conversation here.

As my game improves I've noticed two things.
First, newbies are needy as fuck, it's easy to spot.
Second, I don't care how attracted to you she is, crumble into neediness for a second and chances are high she will lose interest.

A couple months ago I was buying a hotel room with this gorgeous Asian girl. After I got the key she looked me in the eye and said "OK, I go home now." Half turning away from me. I met her gaze, smiled, said "No, you're coming with me." Took her hand, led her to the room and had an awesome night.

A couple days ago I instant dated a gorgeous Russian model. Just talking with her got my dick hard. She was excited and met me an hour after our initial meeting with a hot friend for my friend. I told them about my friend's rooftop jacuzzi, and near the end of my schpeal there was a moment of neediness. I felt it, she saw it, and it was off, I came close to recovering a couple of times but it was torturous watching her flash back to that moment of Incongruent neediness and not escalating with me.

These are just two examples of my many experiences with congruence of non-neediness. It goes down that way about 90% of the time. Which is actually good news. Because 10% of the time you can escalate in spite of your neediness, which will definitely help you be less and less needy in the future.

There is also a decision you make in the moment to attach no importance to the outcome of what you say or do. Practice making that decision. Practice giving options without emotional investment.

And always, always, always go for the close.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
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You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
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Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
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I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

Very good description of neediness.

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Two words: Carpe Diem

Its about self-respect. You take shit and you feel bad about yourself and people also feel bad about you. When people feel bad about you then don't want to be around you.

You don't need love. remember that.

You must have options. Its a lot easier to stand up to a girl if you can call up another girl just a pretty.

The thing is this. These beautiful women are so disrespectful because they have options. The diss one guy they feel that they can just call up another guy. They rarely feel like I need this. I can't lose this guy.

Dope.
You definitely get it.

I always throw out little teasing insults to my potential wings in set. It's how we demonstrate self confidence in front of the girls. Banter with each other. Banter with the girls. Nothing is sacred, nothing effects you emotionally.

Girl rejects you. Cool. Did you hear about (insert topic)?
Girl throws congruence test. Laugh and continue with what you're doing.
Guy tools you. Cool story bro. Did you learn that from yesterday's after school special? Remember those? Seriously the worst television ever.
Unaffected. Dgaf.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
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You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

Well, for me I just stick with two rules #1 Be Happy With Yourself. #2 Actually Have Options

Great points! I think Devid Deida in "The way of superior man" explains this topic a lot in details.

I think being happy/enjoying yourself and having options (both in terms of girls and just general social life) is all you really need here.

Take your roof top jacuzzi example above. If you were 100% happy just to be going to this jacuzzi on your own for the evening (or with your mates or whatever), then when you met the Russian girl, you'd be giving off more of a "come if you want, I don't really care because I'll be having fun anyway" vibe.

Being happy with yourself is a lot harder than it sounds and maybe for some people unattainable.
You really want to be enthusiastic about investing in yourself. You want to be more enthusiastic about something than you are about women. For a lot of people they would rather being doing nothing more than having sex. It all comes down to choices? Would you rather have sex or watch the superbowl? Would you rather have sex than or go to a concert? Would you rather have sex or spend time with your family? Would you rather have sex or have a good job? Would you rather have sex or do well in school? These are the kinds of questions you have to ask yourself. No one is a straight dog with no self-respect, but thing is you don't think about the things that matter to you more than women.

At the end of the day it all comes down to values. If you are needy you value the woman more than yourself. You feel like she has everything to offer you. I suppose this is a self-esteem issue. You place too much value on her vagina. There are various ways to raise self-esteem, such as

1. Mindset-remember you have a lot to offer and sex is not worth that much.
2.) Affirmations
3.) Accomplishments
4.) Investing in yourself-dressing well, cleaniness, learning new skills
.5) Respect-not letting people devalue you and demoralize you.


Its a lot to ask someone to change, especially if they have a habit of putting too much value on women. Ultimately, I think finding away to have power to attract women independent of your inner game is the way too go.

Also, when you don't need someone that shows you value.

You're absolutely right. We ended up at a hookah lounge instead. Still fun but not quite the same.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

Miikus, please dont feed the beast.

Sorry, didn't realize he was on a special diet.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

Great description of neediness and how it can kill a set.

This is the best video on neediness ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

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