All right, it's time.

What's inspiring this is an encounter I had this weekend with an HB10. Literally. She is one of the hottest girls I've ever seen. She's an actress, has a parent who coaches a professional sports team, and has an amazing personality. She's a friend of a friend and I had met her two or three times before but never imagined that I would get with her.

Any way we she came over to my friends for a small get together this weekend and we were all drinking. I was talking to her for a bit and my friend texted me saying she wanted to hook up with me (I'm a fairly attractive guy but my game is below-average). Of course, I was 100% down and after a few more drinks we ended up alone in a bedroom.

Where it happened.

The foreplay was awesome and lasted about 15-20 minutes, but eventually the time came to go further. I had no issues getting it up through the foreplay but as soon as I got it in.. I went limp noodle. Granted, I was a little drunk, but no amount of intoxication should have prevented me from performing with this girl. Needless to say it was incredibly embarrassing and the night proceeded without any sex.

This was only my third time attempting intercourse and I had similar issues the first two times. I chalked the first one up to be being substantially drunk, and the second one I wasnt really interested in the chick. However, after my encounter this weekend I know that there must be a deeper issue.

Alas, I've done a lot of reading on no fap and the "your brain on porn" website and have come to the conclusion that chronic masturbation with porn and/or fantasy affects the brain's chemicals in a negative way and causes normal sexual intercourse to be inadequate for stimulation. You guys can go to the website and look at all the details but I have read enough to be convinced.

I've been masturbating and looking at porn almost daily since I was 12. I've tried giving up masturbation before and have made it about two weeks max. I'm actually currently in the process of quitting porn and I have went about three weeks without it. However, as this weekend showed, my issues need a little more help.

I don't necessarily think that masturbation is a bad thing. I am simply doing this in an attempt to reboot my brain and cause myself to need less stimulation so I can perform sexually. If the chance arises I will allow myself to have sex with a woman; solo masturbation is where I'm drawing the line. I will update every now and then on my progress.

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"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac

Good luck, bro.

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Never get broken up with again: the-addiction-formula-never-get-broken- ... 88794.html

So you're getting up fine and then flopping when putting it in or struggling to get it up in the first place? If it's the previous you probably just want to focus more on being relaxed rather than trying to get aroused. It happened first time, which happens to a lot of guys because you're nervous first time, and then after that you get anxious it's going to happen again causing you to flop which make the anxiety worse next time which causes you to flop which makes the anxiety worse etc etc. It's a negative cycle you need to break by relaxing more and being more present during sex rather than off somewhere in your head. It might be the condom as well, I've heard of people struggling to keep hard after putting a rubber on. The other thing I'd say is that it's probably a lack of association of being turned on with being with a women. You've had years of training your brain and dick pavlovs dogs style to get turned on when you're sitting at a computer rather than when you're around a woman. You just need to keep getting in sexual situations with girls, cut out the porn like you said, and it will quickly auto-correct. If it's a physical problem you can do kegels or other exercise to help improve erection quality. God I sound like shitty Men's Health writer lol

Yep, doesn't sound like it's anything to do with masturbation at all. 2 ways porn/masturbation could affect you in this sort of situation;

1) You only get attracted by porn star type bodies or by the sort of dirty porn you watch. So "normal" women don't get you aroused anymore. But you got an erection during foreplay, so this obviously isn't an issue - you clearly were aroused.

2) You're so used to getting off from your hand that pussy doesn't do the job. However, this is more likely to stop you from coming rather than make you lose your erection. You've been aroused, so your hard, you get inside her, and then you bang away but it just doesn't feel the same so you can't climax. Maybe after a while of doing this you get fed up of not being able to climax and then go soft, but you wouldn't be going soft straight away.

The third solution is non-masturbation/porn related and is all about yourself. Seems to me that it was nerves. Only the third time you've had sex, a girl you say was ridiculously hot, and you got an erection and were aroused in the first place, it was only when it came to doing the act that you lost the erection. Basically, you froze up when it came to it, you've not had much experience, these things happen. Just try and relax.

If it continues to happen, you may be better off going with a girl you don't find quite as attractive, who is a complete stranger. That way, the pressure is off - you don't care if you impress her or not because you only find her mildly attractive; and you don't need to worry about her laughing at you and gossiping within your social circle causing you embarrassment because she's a total stranger. No pressure, relax, get the experience, get used to it, boost your sexual confidence and then you'll be good to go.

(NB obviously if you can get the sexual experience with top quality girls then great, but sometimes that builds up the pressure more; getting experience with less attractive girls is no bad thing necessarily.)

Bro I kid you not I'm a little over a week and I had a dream about fapping last night lmao

My main belief.

There's a lot of reading on the yourbrainonporn site dealing with chronic masturbation causing delayed ejaculation that I found very convincing. This article here has some good points:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/any-suggesti ... jaculation

Basically its saying that too much porn-induced masturbation can lead to

- Decreasing sensitivity of penis
- Declining sexual arousal with sexual partner(s)
- Losing erection while attempting penetration
- Little or no stimulation from penetrative sex

As I have no problem with getting my dude up until it's time to do the deed, I'm thinking this has some merit.

Also, I've had sex with three girls but have gotten past first base many many times (I had an LTR with a Christian girl in high school who would do everything but sex). Yet I've never climaxed with a female. Frankly, a woman can never match the frequency and pressure that most guys use when masturbating and its easy to see how if a guy does it too much they might experience problems. I remember thinking with each rung of the ladder I advanced, "this is it?" First handy.. "this is it? First BJ.. "this is it?" First sex... "this is it?"

Nerves might have played a role this weekend but I think there are some deep-seeded issues that can be resolved by trying this. I've tried no fap before and I can attest the surge in confidence and motivation you get around day 4. It'll be interesting to see if this can persist beyond the first week or two and I'm looking forward to the experiment.

Again, I don't think spankin it is wrong in itself, but like many things, it can be over done. My hope is that I can trigger a sort-of "reset to factory settings" in my brain, increase my libido and allow me to finally bust it all over some T's. It won't be easy though and these first 2-3 weeks are gonna be a special type of hell. Leggo.

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"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac

Yeah I've had that happen too. Usually around days 4-7 I run the risk of busting if the wind blows the wrong way.

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"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac

Update

Well it was an interesting first day.

I'm moving across the country tomorrow morning so my friends threw me a going away party. Guess who was there?

Yeah. HB10 is actually really into me. And now I'll probably never see her again. Timing.

Any way round two was much better and I was actually able to keep an erection during the magic hour (though it was a fairly soft one). We messed around for a total of about two hours and I didn't come close to reaching ejaculation. She was trying sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard too, she blew me for like 20 minutes after we had sexed.

So yeah, if this would have happened about two weeks later I probably would've popped in the first three minutes. But, what can I do? Life goes on.

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"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac

Which again suggests it's nerves rather than anything else. Just having one day off from masturbation wouldn't go from having an erection and losing it, to having a weak only erection.

It would take weeks and possibly even months to 'stop being used' to your hand's stimulation. Just chill and relax more when the time comes.

Update

I'm in a little over a week and feeling great.

The temptation is getting pretty bad especially at night when I'm watching TV alone but I continue to resist. Last night was definitely a challenge but I slayed that dragon and am feeling like a champ.

I'm feeling a lot of the effects that are said to come along with no fap. I'm generally feeling more confident, my interactions with others are more smooth and I'm really inspired to hit up more chicks. I had a killer workout yesterday and was putting up PR's in squat and bench despite being on a calorie deficit diet for three weeks. These effects might be placebo but there have been studies confirming a peak of testosterone levels around 7 days with no ejaculation so there could be something to this.

I've pretty much got a summer hook-up in the bag but she's been really busy with work so we haven't got to hang out yet. Hopefully I can spend some quality time with her this week

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"Real Niggaz do what they want, Bitch Niggaz do what they can do." -2pac