From my blog at http://chiefpua.com



There are many ways that modern society influences us negatively when it comes to women and dating. Fortunately, the pickup artist community seeks to undo the damage in order to turn men into men again, but many PUAs are oddly unspecific in terms of identifying what damage society actually does. I’m here to be specific.

1. “The first rule of Fight Club…”



The first and second rules of Fight Club are both “You do not talk about Fight Club.”

The first and second rules for men when it comes to dating and relationships seem to be “You do not talk about dating and relationships.”

Most men today have tacitly agreed that the subject of dating and relationships is not something that a “real man” would seek help with, let alone read a book about. And, generally speaking, it appears as though it is unmanly to get help or support with anything at all.

While it is true that a real man gets things done without having his hand held throughout his whole life, the fact of the matter is that we could all use a little bit of help every now and then, especially if it’s something that we are bad at. While society defines an integral aspect of masculinity as something too individualistic, we suffer the consequences of these societal standards through the lack of dating dialogue.

I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I have personally been ridiculed for my interest in the subject of pickup. Men aren’t “supposed” to learn about making themselves more attractive.

Women have a very strong and widely accepted community of dating help – every magazine targeted toward women has tons of articles about dating. They talk to each other all the time about the men they’re seeing and they support each other with valuable knowledge and advice. We men, however, have mostly just been on our own.

2. Male guilt



A lot of guys in the pickup artist community blame feminists for...

...Click here to read the rest of this article

That's why all my best friends are women.

Normally one can't talk with men about dating and expect something useful to came out, whiteout it turning to a blown out piss contest of make believe lyes design to impress the other peers.

As an example, a few weeks ago i came across an old friend from school, who proceeded to tell me after the proverbial 'what have you ben doing?', all the beautiful girls he have been hook up with, all the super parties he have been attending, some stupid story about two big chested, topless, lesbian girls that pick him up, about a upcoming journey he was planning were he and some players like him would race cars and meet girls all across Europe. Damn...

Later i stumble across his sister who between other stuff share with me her preoccupation about her twenty six year old brother future, due to the fact that he was sill living with his mother, worked in a fast food joint to whish he would take the bus to arrive to. And girl friendless, actually she spoke about her concern about his sexual preferences.

This is just one of the tons of guys stories that some way or another reach my hears, even when i actively try to avoid them.

As you put in the post according to society standards it seems, to seek knowledge about women and relationships is a less than a manly thing to do. And as i record, when i was growning up and every now and then turn myself to the men 'figures', expecting some insight, do to their 'perceived' experience and was more often than not greeted with a palm in the shoulder followed by stupid jokes about girls and sex . Later as i have come to realize, most of them didn't knew jack squat, neither they allowed themselves to learn, is like talking about money, or asking for directions when you are lost, is simple rude...

I`ve read most of your posts in your blog, but this one`s deffinitively number 1 in my scale.

I don`t know if you do it on purpose or not, but I`m always left with this feeling of wanting more after reading your entries. You`ve addressed some important issues on this one and I believe there are tons more; as an example not only movies and comercials, hell even photos and cards have women near to the sport car you should buy, etc.

I felt a deep connection and it helped me be aware of my biggest sticky point in pua: objectifying women. Treat em as an object.

That`s plain wrong.

Good post, totally agree!

I was thinking about David Wong when you started talking about society owing us a hot woman, and then you quoted him! This is of course the same David Wong who wrote an article generalising all PUAs as douchebags, which is ironic as he seems to be driven by the same kind of desire for self-improvement that you see in much of this community.

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Love it, great post!

I personally want to talk more about being extremely nice to girls and giving them all the power. Point 2 in particular. I believe all men these days are raised to be super nice to girls all the way from elementary schools, how often do teachers punish the boy for not being overly nice to a girl?

"hold doors open for her johnny!"
"johnny you don't say that to a girl!"
"johnny you watch how you talk to her!"
"johnny be nice to her!"

We have pretty much trained our school system all the way from elementary school and up to make men into overly beta White knights. I mean I had to go through it myself where the teacher would let the girl get away with being a total bitch and I would get the blame. You can blame it on the school system and the fact that most teachers themselves are females.

I have definitely suffered from 3 at times too because of sexual shame as you say.

As for 4, I don't quite agree with it. I think it is more of the opposite where the media makes all women feel like they are entitled to a David Beckham. The commercials are pretty obvious since most of the men on there look good themselves (no homo). As for the model part, the men shown with these models are usually men of status or good looks themselves in the movie.

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.