Background:

Met her on Craigslist. Went out for Starbucks and all was welll so we bounced to a movie,"her idea". I had to leave town that day possibly never to see her again. So I attempted a K-close after a mutual 2 minute hug, her head buried in my chest. She turns her head slightly with my attempt a "peck kiss". Tried again, turns her head but kissed me on the cheek.

Hb7.5, 31 year old Chineese American for 5 years, no kids/never married, has money. Shut in.

Yes, my real name is Craig.

"Hi, Craig

I am indulged in soap opera these days. Nothing new. I do not have a boyfriend for more than 3 years. I do not really need a man. I am young, smart, pretty, have money… How can a man make my life better? If not better, why should I go after it! But I want to have my own family. What I desire is a family, not a man. I know what I want. That is also why you are the only person I replied on Craigslist.

You told me that you are my friend. Ok, being friends is fine. But honestly I do not feel comfortable to kiss a friend or a friend stays overnight in my apartment. You know, Craig, I really want to say you are playing a game with me. You put yourself on the non-defeated position: you can move up or back off whatever you want. We are friends, but you want the kiss or more. You want some relationship but you do not want responsibility. Then you told me "you can see other guys. Don't wait for me. But I still want to kiss you." You are making me a whore! It is a game. Maybe you do not intent to have this game. But it is a game, which I DO NOT like. I will not participate either. That is the reason why you feel I am not attached to you. I do not want to squeeze the game/you in my hand. My dad said man and woman can not be friends: if a man likes this woman, he wants more than a friend; if he does not like this woman, he does not even want to have a look at her. "Let's be friends" speech is really a BS in my eye. If you think I am wrong, prove it. Help me when I am in need! Even I am single, it does not mean I can or I want to have intimacy with my male friend. I will treat you just as my friend since that is what you want you told me.

You probably will be mad after you read this email. If you do not want to reply or write email to me any more, I understand. That just proves what I said right.

Have a good day"

Any ideas on how to handle this e-mail. She seems very confused.

_________________
CB

- "Only those who are unworthy, ...get lucky". -CB

- "The larger an ego becomes, the more vunerable it is. Like a ballon while inflating gains more and more surface area for a pin to invade." - CB

seems like she wanted some more attraction and possibly some comfort. ( feel like im about to dlv myself but im 18 yrs old and haven't had a gf but hell ill post it anyway ) ill probably edit my most or post again if i think of something else. this is the only part i read... too lazy to read the other part. ill post back after i read that part

Sounds to me like you used the line about not wanting to be exclusive.. and she wants it..

Depends on what you want, if you want a LTR, there is your chance, but if you want to just game her as just another HB.. you could do it by simply lying to her until you get laid, but thats atleast against my own moral views and laying her without that might be quite a challenge.. I'd say either try out a ltr with her if you feel like it or just skip her and pick the next girl.

You're response should challenge her ideas. Tell her your values and what you expect from her. Elicit your values and amplify them with value to squash her bullshit frame. It sounds like she doesn't want a man because she's had bad experiences with them and had her father raise her on some bullshit concepts. So change that. You're response should be a calm, force of nature that's smooth as silk. Put you're foot down but be seductive. Best of luck.

_________________
I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Answer this question first...what kind of relationship are you looking for? I think you need to ask yourself that question before you respond to the email.

If you only want sex realize that you are probably not on the same page and move on. You can still keep her as a friend, but you have to decide what you want.

_________________
"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

I agree fully with Beschatten.

I'm reading between the lines of what she's written to you and I think you can have whatever you're looking for - I don't think the type of relationship that you want will matter.

In terms of being seductive - be careful what you put in writing. I say that because whatever you say, she will have a lot more time to reflect upon before deciding on her next step. Any girl I've spoken to in any detail online gets a LOT of perverted shit thrown their way, so wording could be key. Girls + logic = ?!

I'd state, quite simply, that you don't feel attraction can be judged on conversation alone. A kiss will tell a much better story and you kissed her (tried to kiss her) to see whether there is more - you're happy to be friends with her (her father is talking from experience; his own thoughts on male-female friendship. It's outdated), but at heart you're a family person and are looking to find compatability with somebody who shares your values. You feel that friendship is a key in doing so.

_________________

I'm a winner - I am going to win.

I think the soap operas have invaded her psyche. Now she wants to live in one. She hibernates in her apartment.

I wrote her a soap opera style reply that I'm certain nobody here would be interested in.

Thans for all the advice.

_________________
CB

- "Only those who are unworthy, ...get lucky". -CB

- "The larger an ego becomes, the more vunerable it is. Like a ballon while inflating gains more and more surface area for a pin to invade." - CB

read the rest and i pretty much agree with my response i wrote already maybe add to it that you and her wouldn't have the same interests because she wants a long term relationship and it seems you want a short term.

Learn from this little interesting episode of your life.

Sexual frame that shit from the get-go, tiger.

Her email is mostly full of bullshit that just looks like "blah blah blah blah blah I like shoes" to me. OK OK I admit that was somewhat sexist. I'm sorry, public. In fact, I love my shoes. They are actually black leather boots. I had them shined once. It was fantastic.

You wouldn't have gotten all that blah blah shoes bull if you had sexually framed from the start, and if you had really internalized that women are incredibly sexual beings. Yes, she wants a family, but NO, she doesn't know what she's talking about when she says "How can a man make my life better? ...you kung-fu fight very well (mouth continues moving for 2 more seconds)"

Her rambling about shoes or whatever she was talking about is just a poor (yet popular) rationalization for not feeling sexual tension or attraction for you during an "official date" where she is customarily SUPPOSED to feel these things. You didn't treat her like the sexual beast she is, so she never had the opportunity to get to know that side of her with you... and probably has never had that opportunity before. Poor woman. Probably never had a vaginal orgasm before.

Now, I hope no one reads this and thinks "Oh I have to be more forward sexually with women by making as many unwanted advances as I possibly can." Psh. Fuckin r-tards. I can seriously see a situation where some guy who knows very little to none about pickup reading this and thinking something like that. For anyone who feels a wee bit confused, do a little research on Sexual State. I recommend Gunwitch. www.gunwitch.com

Sorry again about the shoes comment....not

post your reply craig

_________________
I'm addicted to facing my fears.