From my blog at http://chiefpua.com


I posted a pretty straightforward article on how to become popular before. In it, I said that the way to become popular is to give people what they want.

Well, I have recently had the pleasure of being forced to think about this topic more deeply thanks to a new student that I’m taking under my wing and his unrelenting desire to become more popular with his peers.

I hope that none of you got the impression that I was advocating sycophancy as a means to achieve popularity. On the surface it may seem like the fastest and most effective way to become popular is to pander to other people’s needs and desires, but that wasn’t really the point I was trying to get across.

A popular person does, however, make other people feel good. A healthy dose of that dopamine serves as an important part of the base of popularity.

What some people mistakenly do, however, is that they overdo it. They try to make other people feel good a little too much without being able to do much else to stand out from the crowd (aside from the not-so-subtle expressions of various insecurities).

They’re actually overcompensating for something.

They’re missing something even more important: Being great.

In the context of business, it’s not enough to just pander to what your customers want. In order to be the market leader, you must actually lead by defining trends and offering the best of what you have to offer as a unique entity in the industry.

You must be a great man.

How exactly does one realize and actualize his greatness?

Well, for starters, you should know that a man is useless if he’s not good at something. What are you good at?

If you couldn’t answer that question confidently and immediately without a doubt or a second thought, you’ve got some work to do. You have got to get good at something, preferably more than one thing. If the thing you’re good at is “picking up women,” you definitely need to be good at more than one thing.

When I say “good at something,” I mean really, really good. In order to be a great man, you need to be good at something enough for your peers to know you as the guy who’s a reliable expert at that thing. You need to be the guy people seek when they need help or advice with that thing. To you, this thing you’re good at is a fully fledged art that you pour your passion and creativity into.

Get off your ass and put in your 10,000 hours.

Learning from your own expertise

Once you actually climb to the top of the food chain in whatever skills you develop to become good at something, you’ll learn many things about greatness along the way, and those same lessons are repeated in the learning process of whatever you try to get good at.

You become wise.

When you mature your wisdom through expertise, you have more to offer. And what you have to offer becomes refined and unique. It becomes an expression of who you really are.

And you actualize your greatness.

When you have more of your unique self to offer, that’s when people flock to you.

Source: http://chiefpua.com/how-to-become-popular-part-2/

Let`s have a few words:

For starters, the biggest question that pop`s up in my head is: how do I chose it?

Let`s be clear, I`m a grown man, 24 years old, and a studant; an employee and I work out and practice a sport.

Now for a while I thought about becoming really good with sports, fencing. That was a lie I told myslef; even thou I gave tons of hours of my time, my developing was really slow. At the moment I dropped the activity for a while, law school is getting harder and I decided to build some muscle in the meantime.

So following those activities fill pretty much my entire schedule counting dating with women and going out to nightclubs.

Do you have any guidance on how to chose those activities to become really good at? And more importantly: are there any indicators that your choice might make you even more popular than other choices?

Thanks.