Has anyone ever noticed that it takes a lot of energy to be a "PUA", not physical energy used for going out, working out dancing or having sex. I'm talking about the mental energy that is required to be quick whited, always one step ahead, to lead conversations and to be "social".

I have allot on my plate with education, work, going out 3 nights a week and seeing friends whenever i get the chance. I hate being inside my head, if you catch yourself thinking and not talking for too long, i feel you begin to lose value, and i have witnessed this time and time again, but i t requires so much energy to be, that guy, the cool guy everyone likes.

I am starting to feel like i always have to be "on", its not a fake character i have to continuously portray, its the best bits of me that people respond to, the parts of me that "take up space in the world", the parts of me i have spent the last year carefully cultivating to progress in this game. And i think I'm starting to burn out.

I wonder sometimes, if there are people who are more cut out for this life than others, maybe I'm just naturally lazy or just stuck in a rut, but at least for me, being the best "you" is hard work.

Can any of you relate?

Oh yeah, I'm right there with you. I also feel that being a PUA in progress, I'm getting a lot LESS slack for this kind of thing too. Before I learned about PUA when I was a total AFC, girls would let me get away with being a little awkward here and there or being in my head. But once you get good, you have to ALWAYS be good. It's messed up.

Double J, you just put into words what I've been overcomplicating for a long time now.

Pick up burns you out in more ways than just one. Sure, there is the physical exhaustion from forcing yourself to go out a certain number of times a week, fit in socializing along with work or school or family, and trying to do all the other stuff we have to do. But pick up takes something more, something a little deeper and more towards your core, and that is what is so hard about it. It truly takes perseverance.

Consistency is one of my main issues. I'll be completely 'on' one day, then the next day I'll be 'off' in every sense of the term. It isn't just my mood that changes, I don't just have 'good mood' days and 'bad mood' days, it isn't as simple as that. I have 'smooth personality' day and 'AFC personality' day. Some days my energy level is high, some days it is low. This inconsistency has hindered me for a long time now.

When we first were introduced to pick up and the seduction community and we began to learn all of these things, we became aware of something that we didn't know was there before. We became aware of state, aware of ourselves, aware of what we are doing wrong and what we are doing right. We became aware of how girls perceive us and how to manipulate their perception, we became aware of pickup lines, pickup formulas, sequences that would make the girls suddenly become attracted to us. Ever since we have become aware of all of these previously hidden features, we change permanently.

It is being conscious of pickup that causes us to be so emotionally drained all the time, to lose so much mental energy. We are always thinking of pick up, we are always thinking of what to say, how to say it, when to say it, what to do, when to act, how to escalate, what we're doing right, and what we're doing wrong. We are always monitoring ourselves, it is like some mental control monitor is always on full blast, and we can't turn it off.

Seeking perfection will burn you out, in the end. It may seem worth it to go full out while you can, but seeking perfection will always leave you disappointed, and exhausted. We picture in our minds a perfect guy, the perfect thing to say, the perfect line. Before we approach we think "There must be something perfect to say in this moment to this girl, let me think of it, I'm not going to approach unless I have a perfect line". There is no perfect line. We finish an interaction and think "There must have been some perfect sequence of words and lines that would make that conversation perfect, and the girl would love me, how didn't I think of it?" Truth is, there is no perfect line, there is no perfect interaction, no perfect attraction-generating sequence or formula to make a girl open her legs. Perfection just doesn't exist.

We must learn to stop beating ourselves up over things like this, and let ourselves rest, let our mental monitors and tickers and perfection-seekers take a much-deserved rest. Just as sleep is important for our health, relaxation and mental calmness are important for you mental health. It isn't healthy to be constantly monitoring your social status and social abilities. You are who you are, and you are going to say what you are going to say.

Game is a natural state. Like the force in Star Wars, game can be controlled but with lots of training and great concentration and focus. It is frustrating to learn, but it will come to you. It comes to you like a universal state, it is all around you, it flows through you, you are simply a vehicle for it. When you learn how to harness it, you will know. Because game is natural, you can't force it. Don't spend so much energy and time forcing something onto yourself, forcing it out. It is unnatural and completely transparent.

Game is exhausting because we make it exhausting. In the end, though, it seems a worthy price.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

I always found trying to be a pua was like having another job back when I was worrying about trying to focus on structure, and A3's and all that nonsense. Once I went the natural route it wasn't nearly as tiresome. I hardly even try anymore without some sort of success. The most work I put in nowadays is picking a target.

Its been a few weeks since my first post, but I'm still feeling mentally drained.

I'm starting to wounder if this mental stress is what led mystery to have a breakdown in the book (the game) where as style, after leaning what he needed to know, always stayed somewhat true to himself, continued writing and became excepted in the community (and by woman) for being himself. Being yourself requires allot less mental exhaustion than being your "best self".
I wounder if this is why so many people are turning to "natural" game...


A question to any of you natural gamers out there, does it take allot of energy out of you to be out with the intention of gaming?

Pick up is not the only thing that requires energy.

Life requires energy, and living a good life requires a LOT of energy.

Willpower, thats what you need to get what you want in life. If you dont have enough willpower you'll be exhausted trying.

Maybe my only mistake is wanting to be perfect. I work hard to be the best son, student, worker and boyfriend. Its fucking hard work. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I'm too tired. But is worth it, cause I want stuff on life and I will do anything to get them.

The mindset to get is this one: I wont give up. Being tired just increases my drive.

The easy application of this is picking up women. Cause seriously, getting chicks is supposed to be fun. If you feel like it is an effort you are doing something wrong.

The hard application is everything else, work, relationships, your life in general.

_________________
"[Cool is] a heavily manipulative corporate ethos. ”
Kalle Lasn

"Motherfuckers best belive in....That you are fucking with the best" - 3oh!3

Teasing is a battle plan for what Shakespeare called “the merry war.”

Depends on what school of thought you Run in your head.
I think TD blueprint type way where it's like let it all hang out, your flaws your pros

just be natural, ur "game" or personality rather, will make up for everything you consider to be your flaws. Your usually not doing much but being yourself. Pretty much natural.

U want to approach a 10, you don't even use an opener, just say what's up and go from there, not really thinking about getting laid or routines and if she doesn't like what u got to offer well move on.

But usually if it's not a pick up or number you will at least have fun talking to another human being. I personally like seeming normal at first then just start saying odd things, to see how people react.

It still is about getting laid but without the emphasis and that paradoxically leads to more getting laid more, I'm still no mac but I get mine.

It game before it's connotation of being related with tactics or trying. True Game(maybe)

yea i was pretty much on the same boat as you before like i wouldn't even be amped to go out and go out and do all these routines and BS get laughs and not laid. If laughs were sex back then my PUA name would be ron jeremy.

Mad processing and calculation. and I kept searching for some new tactic or midstate that would get me over the threshold but they never did and they required so much work, inorganic behaviors that were situational. I didn't know whether it was me or the material or me.

Turned out "inner game" or pretty much self actutalization or meditation on myself and who I am was what was missing

Not saying that's your issue, I don't even know you. lol


Stay Red fellaz

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Animals have "pickup" in their DNA, It's called instincts.

If you feel like you're drained from spending 3-4 nights out trying to be the cockiest, funniest motherfucker in the club the whole time, maybe it's time for a new approach.

The first idea is to do more day game, which is general has a lower intensity. You don't need to be the loudest, most energetic guy in the coffee shop or bookstore, in fact if you are you'll probably look weird!

Secondly, and more importantly, try and get to qualification as fast as possible. The reason for this is you get HER talking, which means you don't have to worry about throwing down huge stacks of DHV stories and routines the whole time to keep her interested in you.

Man, I can see what you are saying but I think that it is a phase.

I may be a hyperactive person, I dont know, but I dont agree. Pickup actually relaxes me.

Let me explain. A while ago I was out like 4-5 nights a week, on top of working like a maniac and meeting friends and stuff. That did become a bit much. It was difficult that I had to think about what I was gonna say and what I was gonna do, posture, routines whatever. Then I just dropped it, I thought I would take a break from pickup for a while and just relax. The funny thing was that when I relaxed and just didnt think, my autopilot was rewired to pickup. I realized that I was halfway to a numberclose without even knowing it. It integrates itself into who you are.

Nowadays, I dont go out as much because I have less time but whenever I go out I am always up for a pickup. It is what relaxes my mind. It is my "secret" place of calm. My haven.


So it is a period, when it starts feeling natural, you will find it much easier.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Been looking up more and more natural information, putting it to the test today/ tonight. I actually feel a lot better knowing that i do not have to have a mental script prepared going in to a night club.

Wow I was wondering the same thing myself. Glad to know I'm not alone. Pick-up IS EXHAUSTING for me. You said it right: Not physically, but mentally. Being a badass mofo is awesome and you get results... and women!.... but it drains you. Sometimes, if it's been a long week at work, I'll go out and start sarging and a couple hours into it I just shut down. I'm tired of being being so high energy and leading and all... and I just wanna sit down and have a beer and chill. Then again, alpha males need chill-time too huh? lol

Any thoughts?[/i]

Since my first post 3 months ago, i have been really getting into natural methods particularly Tim's from RSD. I have been going out more, working harder, putting time and energy into this new approach and im starting to get the benerfits.

In short, I'm going out 4 nights a week and am actually getting a little restless if i don't, my energy levels feel off the charts!!!
If anyone feels a distinct lack of energy and uses a routine based method, i suggest switching to a natural approach. at least for a little while, It's worked wonders for me.

JJ

Thanks for the update, JJ. Good to hear this is working for you. Gives me a little more inspiration to work a little harder at this so I too can reap the benefits!

Keep living,

Sharplin.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Great topic! I can so totally relate. I don't hit on women often not because I'm afraid but because of the energy and effort it takes! It is so mentally exhausting. Some days I see so many attractive women and the thought of how much effort I need to put in makes me tired. It really hinders me from having more relationships. But it's all good I just focus on quality rather than quantity. Thats just how I am.

so its not just me ? cool
I WANT TO BE THERE.