Ego vs. Confidence: Understanding and Distinguishing the Differences

So recently there has been a lot of conversation about confidence and the ego. It is interesting how many people seem to misunderstand confidence and the ego. The ego is something I had to learn about and really a lot of people seem to have this idea that the ego is your confidence. This is because your ego can make you feel confident, but as the ego is really just a false center your confidence is false and thus you never actually have confidence. You have a “negative experience” and it influences how you feel and more importantly how you feel about yourself.

What is the ego?

The ego is a sense of self we gain based on our perceptions of others’ perception of us. The ego is you worrying about others’ perception of you.

Story of an Ego (fictional)

Once upon a time there was an actor, he worked really hard he had a dream of having millions of fans, having a huge house and being in a big hit movie. The whole time he is dreaming of that love, that attention, “Once I make it big so many people will love me, I’ll have girls all over me.” He tried to get in touch with the right people constantly putting effort into “making it big”. His desire is driven by lust for attention, his ego drives him.

Finally after a dozen small parts, and he gets a side kick gig, and finally he ends up co-starring. Finally after all that effort he’s HUGE. Guest stars on Jimmy Kimmel, Jay Leno, he has a million fans, his movie sold well over 100 million the first weekend. He’s made it and he loves the attention, free shit, entry into VIP clubs.

What he doesn’t realize is he is the flavor of the month. His movies dry up, nobody wants to work with him anymore. He’s known as the asshole who only has one acting style. He is not that funny anymore, lacks originality. Nobody cares about him anymore, there are no shows, no movies, he ends up drinking a ton. Does his share of “white lines”, gets arrested. He has tons of people talking about him again finally. His ego is satisfied with his attention but he is still unhappy. NOBODY LOVES HIM ANYMORE!

He hates his life and feels like shit. He's not getting his attention. The ego is saying I’ll get that attention I need it so bad to feel good about myself that I’d rather die than not have it. The reason he is unhappy now is he never really was happy with who he was he was happy with the love he received. He never valued himself, he valued other people's opinion of himself.

How is this Ego?

The whole time the most important part to him isn’t the concept of making it but more from the concept of being loved, having attention. Having the approval of millions of people who tell you that you are the man has been your dream. This isn’t doing something for yourself but for the approval of others.

Examples of the Ego:

-Needing to gain the approval of others
-Worrying about rejection
-Worrying about what others think about you
-Needing to be the best you so others will love you
-Needing to be the center of attention
-Needing attention in general (dramatic people (“drama queens”))
-Worrying about cock size
-Victim Mentality
-Dictator Mentality
-Updating your Facebook status every 2 hrs to receive approval and love of others
-Needing someone to like your picture or your status or whatever random thought you have

What is Confidence?

Confidence is really an essence it is more than just one thing. It is self-assurance, self-love, and self-certainty, how you feel about yourself is completely independent of anyone else’s opinion of you. True Core Confidence isn’t just you being good with women; True Core Confidence is you being good at being you. True Core Confidence is understanding that brilliance you bring to this world and bringing that self-confidence in that brilliance to every world.

Confidence is about you having complete control of your frame of your being; it is your control of your mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional self. By complete I mean you have an understanding that nobody else influences your value but yourself. This is the ultimate feeling because you seek no one’s approval.

I can’t properly describe confidence on the levels it deserves because all it gives you and how so many times you are tricked by your ego thinking you are confident.

A Story of Confidence

Yesterday I went to work and my job is to direct a front end full of employees and customers. Some people come in and unfortunately they may not feel well or sometimes they had some unfortunate events happen, so they take out their emotions on us over the smallest of things. Some of them will really lay into you.

In this case I was offering to check him out through a lane because my customer lines were too long. I’m very aware of my tone, and body language, I know what I do most of the time. Part of my job is being friendly and bringing up the morale of my crew and the customers.

He responded by telling me I was pushy. “You are too pushy, you are horrible at your job you should be fired.” I apologized to him and told him my intentions weren’t to seem pushy but to be helpful.

He responded with “You aren’t sorry, you are just saying that.” Again I reaffirmed that I wasn’t trying to come across that way. Then I walked away, it didn’t appear I was going to change his attitude of me.

Unfortunately I needed to reappear one more time and to my astonishment he had more to say. “You are too pushy. Who is your manager? I want to talk to him. There is no reason you should be so pushy.”

I responded “I am the manager in charge of the front end sir. I am responsible for running a friendly front end. I apologize that I came across that way. If you’d like I can page my manager above me up here (I reached for the phone) and you can talk to her about my behavior.”

He responded “You are an idiot. I can’t believe you are a manager. You don’t know anything or how to treat people. I’m never coming back here; I’m going to report you to Kim.” (Can you see all the “I” ego talk?)

Note: Kim is an associate that works for me.

All I did was smile at him “Thank you sir. Would you like me to call up my manager and so you can explain everything to her about my behavior?” At this point I had the phone off the hook was ready to speak over the intercom. He was very upset, I hadn’t lost my cool. His only goal seemed to be to piss me off but my frame wasn’t influenced by him. He was very upset that he couldn’t get under my skin. I don’t take it personal something else is going on in his life, he is taking it out on me. He needed to do this and frankly I don’t mind if someone blows off some steam on me. It doesn’t affect how I feel about myself.

I watched his eyes as he searched for what he would say to my manager. What could he say? I am very good with my words; I’ve been doing my job for years (at least this part). I know what to say so that I don’t come across as offensive, between everything I’ve studied, management training, experiences, and customer service training I have a pretty good idea how to talk to people. This guy simply was on edge, his attitude changed his perception of me. He realized there was nothing bad he could say about me and said “I’ll give you another chance. Maybe you’ll be nicer next time.” I thanked him and said have a good day.

Note: He came back today to poke at me. It was actually pretty funny as I said nothing to him since I was off the clock and would rather go home then listen to him.

Why this was Confidence?

My confidence allowed me not to take this persons behavior personally. Plenty of people would be very upset if someone called them an idiot. That is fine, I don’t enjoy being called an idiot but at the same time I understood he needed to get under my skin. Feed his ego by pissing me off but like I said I don’t take behavior personally I understand most of the time it is an outside source influencing their mind and emotions and thus their perception of reality. To him I really was pushy that is how he perceived me (perhaps I was but I approach people pretty systematically normally).

The Ego part of Me

I won’t lie I still have an ego, but I’m aware of this. That part of me enjoyed the fact that he was getting annoyed with me not reacting, then I became aware and realized damn it, ego got me again.

Confidence Examples:

-Being willing to go up and talk to a girl, her response to you doesn’t affect how you feel (positive or negative – getting her number doesn’t make you feel better about yourself, likewise getting rejected doesn’t make you feel worse about yourself)
-Holding your frame regardless of outside influence: Emotional, Spiritual, Mental, and Physical
-You are assured and certain of yourself
-You love who you are
-You are comfortable being who you are
-You hold your own high value opinion of yourself and no one changes your opinion of yourself
-You know who you are and where you are going
-You are decisive and certain of those decisions
-You don’t need the approval of anyone else but yourself as you understand your mind is your reality

Confidence

People ask well how do I “get confidence”? It’s not easy, in fact it requires constant work because the ego is always lurking and waiting to take over. You have to constantly be bettering yourself.

-You have to constantly be doing it all for YOU, not to look better.
-You don’t work out to be more attractive, you work out because it makes you feel better.
-You don’t eat healthy to lose weight so people will think you are better looking for their approval, you do it because it makes you feel good.
-You don’t do things because they get you the approval of others, you do it because you enjoy it.
-You do things because they are an alignment with who you are.

Confidence is all about bettering yourself for you and no one else. This takes a minute because we have been trained our whole life to “worry about what other people think of you”. “Do you realize what you look like?” “Do you realize what people think of you?” We are taught to seek approval learning to adjust your mindset takes a lot of conscious effort in multiple worlds. Grab a solid confidence book and follow all the actions in it, then continue on your habits afterwards.

The Difference between Confidence and the Ego

The difference between confidence and the ego is simply happiness and comfort with who you are based on your own opinion of yourself vs. being happy and comfortable when you have the approval of others. The two aren’t even on the same page. They aren’t even in the same ball park, but lots of people seem to think “oh man I fucked 5 girls this month. I can’t believe it” is showing confidence. It’s you fucking 5 girls in a month and it not even mattering. You simply did it because you enjoyed it, if you hook up no one knows, after all it is nobody else’s business but yours and you didn’t do it for attention.

Confidence is happiness, ego is misery. One is within your control the other controls you. The ego will own your confidence and until you get it under control and realize what it does to you, it will control you. The ego is one of the more difficult things to deal with because it is hard to confront, while confidence can be felt from the ego it isn’t what makes you confident. It isn’t what gives you True Core Confidence, you build your confidence by investing yourself.

Killing the Ego

As I said the ego is always there lurking willing and wanting attention (the Egos life force, it’s food). It is there whether you want it or not. We all have an ego, and I’m no different. My ego is there though manageable I certainly realize it can be a problem at certain times. Egos exist in us and even your denying your ego is feeding your ego. Being humble isn’t about saying your humble it’s about it being part of you. The ego isn’t humble, the ego enjoys being called humble. That attention of being humble and honest, being a great person, this all feeds the ego, and not your confidence.

The only way to kill the ego is to watch it, you don’t drop it. You don’t even kill it really. You become Ego-Aware and you avoid feeding it. You starve it to death, you don’t suffocate it. You become aware and slowly but steadily it leaves you, but you certainly don’t say I’m rid of my ego. Otherwise I would have said that a long time ago. You let go during those moments when you are being driven by needing the approval of others.



Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Ego vs Self-esteem: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/72471

You either take stuff from RSD, or you're reading the same books as Tyler.


EGO VRS SELF-ESTEEM

Some absolutely crucial concepts here...

SELF ESTEEM:
-You're born with it, just like arms and legs.
-It is indescribable -- like MOJO or SOUL.
-You have it as a child until it becomes wounded (it takes years to find it again -- and "re-remember" the self-esteem you had as a child)
-Feeds off of nothing, as it is self sustaining

EGO:
-A rational construct that we devise as a substitute for self-esteem (when it has become too wounded to provide confidence anymore).
-Getting status, making money, pulling girls -- these things allow us to LOGICALLY tell ourselves "I have confidence".
-Different from "self esteem" because self esteem is a INNATE HUMAN ATTRIBUTE whereas ego is a MAN MADE PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSTRUCT
-Feeds off of continual attention, accolades, good reactions, etc..

Now you could argue that EGO is a stronger form of confidence than self-esteem, because ego is based on something rational.

However, being even more objective, self-esteem is an INNATE CHARACTERISTIC and something you're born with, just like arms or legs.

Remember -- there is no logical reason for having it.

You just have it because you're born with it. It's innate.

So when someone says "That dude has way too much ego" they're basically saying "That dude is leaning on some logical construct to give himself confidence, because he's a wounded little boy who lacks self esteem."

In other words, a guy with "too much ego" is coming from a place of weakness, not strength.

It's not a bad thing to have ego -- guys who transcend all ego are often weirdos who live cross-legged in caves.

It's also great to go after the things you want, because it improves YOUR OWN QUALITY OF LIFE (ie: I choose to live in Hawaii, not a fat house in LA, because I love Hawaii -- if I wanted to impress my friends I'd move back to LA).

However, if anything, ego should be layered ON TOP of self-esteem -- not a SUBSTITUTE for self esteem.

If somebody pulls the rug out from under you, ideally it shouldn't affect you emotionally because you have a foundation of self-esteem in place.

Now as for "being sucessful with women".........

Say you approach a girl, you must KNOW that "The self is coming through"

That means that you know that things like:
-Self esteem
-Masculine polarity
-Confidence
-Positivity
-Outlook (ie: Jeffy has a funny worldview, so his slight ironic demeanor shows this)

........are always coming through to the girl, even if you just say "hi" and have a casual conversation.

Later, as the conversation progresses, things like:
-That you have your own tastes and values
-That you have your own identity and purpose
-That you have personal boundaries

.......will also start to come through.

This knowledge that "THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH" is the most INTENSE realization you will ever have.

Once you realize it, you realize you can approach with ANYTHING, and say ANYTHING, and the girls will dig it because THE SELF IS COMING THROUGH.

Think of it like "psychic powers" (even though they don't really exist) -- whether you've got a mansion or a yatch or a twelve inch battle axe.... or intelligence or street smarts or a worldly perspective --> the specifics are totally subjective and irrelevant.

If you have REAL SELF ESTEEM and you know that THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH, the girls KNOW that you're the shit the second you open your mouth (or at least, when they "process" it, which may take a few sentences).

The day that this epiphany "clicks" in your head YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.

NOW...

If you walk up to a girl and you don't get a lot of attention right away, just like the driver of a high performance race car -- a driver who KNOWS the calibre of car he's driving won't be afraid when he hits a scary curve because he knows the car will hold out (that the self will show through within a few more sentences); whereas a guy who doesn't know what kind of car he's driving will freak out and try to OVERCOMPENSATE.

Guy who knows what car he's driving = tapping into self esteem

Guy who doesn't know what car he's driving and feels like he needs more "logical justification" to believe in it = tapping into ego

Or, IOW......

EGO = any time a girl doesn't react exactly as you were expecting you get those needy hungry eyes and start pushing for a reaction (girls feel this and blow you off), or worse you just bail out YOURSELF to avoid any "contradictory evidence" that you're anything other than the "pimp" you believe yourself to be.

SELF ESTEEM = you're totally at ease with ANY sort of reaction, and once the girl feels that unreactive masculine polarity coming from you she opens up --> hence "knowing that in a few more sentences the SELF will surely start to come through."

The core of what's going through your mind must be:

-"I have SELF ESTEEM and I'm not even thinking about any rational reason for it -- I'm BORN with this cause it's the fuckin SOUL MOJO F-IN' SUPER POWERS -- and this is GOD'S WILL"

-"I know that the SELF is always coming through and the girls know exactly who I am the second they listen to me talk"

-"I know what I have to say is valuable because it's coming from ME, and I know what I have to say is interesting because it's an EXPRESSION of my personal tastes and people are curious about that" -- just like a hot girl talking, and how whatever she says is interesting because it comes from HER

-"I don't take ownership of their bad reactions -- I've spent enough time taking failure as feedback and improving myself that if they react bad it's probably THEIR issue not mine"

By installing these beliefs you stand head and shoulders above every other guy who can't "be himself" around girls -- because ego is ultimately a sign of UNHEALED WOUNDS whereas real self esteem is a sign of true VITALITY.....

Back when you were a kid you HAD self esteem (you were born with it) but it was wounded through adolescence and couldn't provide that FUEL for your confidence anymore.

So to find fuel you created an EGO (sought out rational reasons for why you should feel confident) to carry the weight...

But at this point, you're NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE and you're SO EVOLVED (as Jay-Z would say) that everything about you (whether your physical body or self esteem) is stronger and not so easily wounded.

You can "re-remember" that old self esteem you used to trust as a child, and like a "big happy baby" you approach girls and all people with full expectation of a friendly response.

This all sounds funny, but it's absolutely true.

It's called "coming into your own."

NOW...

As for that feeling you get on an "on" night, or as we call it "being in state"…

When you go out, use “game” to get girls giggling and giving you attention, and find yourself going into state, this is your ego in a FEEDING FRENZY.

Your ego is saying “Mmmmmmm… This is soooooo good. Keep it coming.”

This is the equivalent to putting your hands on two electrical sockets and just letting the current BLAST through you.

That’s why going out and being “in state” is so addictive and so yummmm.

However, confidence has to come from SOMEWHERE…

And the kind of high you get from tapping into EGO is like a DIRTY and ERRATIC high.

It’s a high where you’re totally in state, but even as you do another approach in the back of your mind you might say to yourself “Maybe I shouldn’t do this one because I might fall back out of state…”

Tapping into SELF ESTEEM based confidence you get a more stable high -- a CLEAN and SILKY high.

You can feel that you’re in state, but it’s so much cleaner and there isn’t the slightest concern that that you might fall out of it.

It’s impossible to fall out of it – you’ve TAPPED INTO something that’s inside of you and you’ve hit the “sweet spot.”

That’s the "new" RSD and what this “game” is really all about.

_________________
Perpetual Travel, Seduction & Financial Freedom - Check out my blog: http://vanofvictory.com

The ego is merely how you think of yourself; its your self-image. Confidence comes from thinking of yourself in a powerful and positive light; confidence comes from a strong self-image. You should worry about how people think of you, their perception of you because their perception of you is what determines how they behave towards you. Respect is important because when you respect someone you think of them as good and powerful and you treat them as such. Although, we may not like it sometimes how people treat us has affect upon us. It is beyond our power to stop it.

People need attention either because they are not mentally independent and they need encouragement from others or because the view a lack of attention as a slight or because it just feels good to be noticed.

You should not make rejection a practice or a habit because it can ruin your self-image. At some point you keep losing and your mind, subconsciously thinks of you as a loser. Its just simple experience.

Humility is simply staying grounded. What does that mean? That means you do things on a daily basis that keep you confident, that keep you feeling strong. That is humility.

You talk about these concepts vaguely and not concretely. You confuse ego with pride and mental weakness.

Nice addition, I've never read that before. I guess I read a lot of the same books, some of the same articles. I apologize that it seems as though I'm copying RSD, that isn't my intention. I would have just posted that had I seen it rather than go through the trouble of writing this though I feel we do touch a few different topics in my article.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Definition of Ego:
Here is an article that influenced the article. http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm

Here is another article on the ego. http://www.taoism.net/theway/ego.htm

Hopefully you'll have an understanding of it now.


You need attention because of your ego which is very dependent. It is dependent on getting attention. The ego demands that attention, it needs it to survive. We all need some attention, that is just being real. The more attention you need the bigger an ego you have.

I said rejection or you getting a girls number shouldn't affect how you feel about yourself. That is my point, if you have confidence and value yourself the course of events don't change your feelings about yourself. This is the core of confidence.

I agree it is about staying grounding and doing the small things. It is also about not placing yourself above other folks, as soon as you do this you are no longer humble. I struggle with humility here and there as well, and I apologize for the translation of the tone of some of my messages to you.

I didn't talk vaguely on behalf of the ego, I talked vaguely on behalf of confidence. Confidence really is indescribable. Confidence gives you tons of traits but at the end of the day an ego is influenced by outside source, confidence is self instilled value.

Pride is a by-product of the ego. It is a mental weakness, anything that influences your own sense of self is a mental weakness. Having a huge ego is not good, having a ton of self confidence on the other hand is great. Self-instilled true value is far truer to your self (since the ego is your false center as described by tons of articles) then the ego which is gaining your value from people valuing you. When you value yourself and you have gained attractive habits you have confidence. However when you value other people's opinion of yourself above your own opinion of yourself you have a big ego issue that requires remedy.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Ego is a Latin word meaning "I", cognate with the Greek "Εγώ (Ego)" meaning "I", often used in English to mean the "self", "identity" or other related concepts. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego

Not sure who these pick up guru/groups are but they're twisting around a whole lot of terminology to fit it into their operations.

*It seems even Googling definitions is no longer very reliable since there seems to be a whole lot of interpretations. For "Ego", this is certainly true as the way the term is used in psychology is quite different from the way it's used in religion.

Regarding self-esteem: Generally, "self esteem" is defined as one's own evaluation of self worth and abilities. A baby does not have high self esteem or low self esteem. In order to evaluate himself, he would need the reference point of knowing the worth/abilities of others and the World around him. This clean slate is what allows the baby to bounce around from person to person and react, here and now.

On confidence: Changes moment to moment, situation to situation. A basketball player might be confident on the court but throw him into a boxing ring and he's going to shit his pants. Now, the guy might be a retard and talk his mouth off and start throwing his fists around but this wouldn't be confidence . . . it would instead be "high self esteem" (A high evaluation of himself and abilities) And this high evaluation might get him killed.

Those who are comfortable with themselves and others around him have balanced "self esteem" with actual worth/abilities and balanced "confidence" with actual experience in the related situation. It's OK. . . it's OK to not know EVERYTHING because knowing everything is an impossibility.

It's ironic that it's always some low leveled ghetto worker who knows EVERYTHING. Yeah, they know Global economics, politics, art, music, etc . . .They yap your ears off with idiotic statement after idiotic statement. On the other hand, a friend of mine who teaches at a prestigious business school recently asked me about corporate entities and tax implications.

^This is important in life. . . but since this is a pu forum. . .

You don't walk around forcing your self to come out or come in or go up or go down. You don't assume whatever the hell you have to say is valuable because it comes from your mouth or your ass. You might perceive whatever comes out of a hot girl's mouth as valuable because you're a horny 18 year old. I might hear the same thing and puke. . . thus "value" is object dependent and not subject dependent.

Every product and service in the world is priced by customers and not the vendors. Customers assess value and if the price is worth it to them, they buy it. If it's not valuable to them, the do not. Thus the job of the vendor is to price their product/service to value. Just because you walk around with a rock screaming at everybody that it's worth $1,000,000, it does not make it so.

Value = Perceived benefit/price

Still . . . what is pick up any ways? It's just a chat and a connection. What the hell type of skillsets do you need for this and if you fail, what are the consequences? I think it's just fine to make yourself a donkey's ass a few times in your life in the quest for vagina. But to make a habit of it = repeated failure.

Thank you Kasabi. This is definitely your cup of tea not mine, I appreciate a lot of your posts on this topic, you have very good insight on this. I wrote it to my understanding but I had a good idea you'd help me out on this one.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Let me include the rest of it for you:
Here is another Wiki post on the ego http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_%28spirituality%29 : Here is a repost of the DICTIONARY .com primary definition:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ego That is a definition for dictionary. com, a lot of words have more than one meaning, in this case I'm using the common definition, the primary definition really. Listing off the definition via Latin, Greek, doesn't help very much, the reasons being it is not the language we are speaking here. Your definitions says "often used in English to mean", while this is true a lot of words are used incorrectly.

3 Interesting Fun Facts:

Men use more words then women.

Men use words incorrectly more often than women.

Women understand more words then women.

You think because it is often used it is the only definition. Your definition is incomplete for the definition I am using. The definition of it used commonly in terms of confidence, self-esteem, is often your self-image based on the value of outside sources. Your definition is dis-includes very important parts of the ego I'm talking about. Your definition literally includes only half the definition we are dealing with.

If you want to argue a DICTIONARY .com reference it reflects poorly on you, I'm not using my definition, I'm using the definition given by tons of people. I gave you a couple of articles, which it appears didn't read. If you'd like you can go read Tolle Eckhart, he has a great outlook on the ego I'm referring to as well.

If you don't agree with my definition the root of your problem is not understanding the argument to begin with, this means you are under educated on a topic and yet you still come argue with folks. Your problem is you go look for things that make you seem right then don't include the aspects that make you seem wrong, of all the thousands of articles and definitions of Ego, you used a limited one and didn't even include the whole post.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

"Women understand more words then women."

That IS interesting.

_________________
Perpetual Travel, Seduction & Financial Freedom - Check out my blog: http://vanofvictory.com

My bad Phangan lol misprint - thanks for the catch.

Women understand more words then men.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

You know you kind of got me thinking. Someone with high self-esteem in an area where it is unwarranted would be arrogant not confident right? This would be why confidence and arrogance are confused with so much regularity. Someone who unjustly holds themselves in high-esteem even though that high value is limited to one area, he brings that unwarranted high value of himself to an area he shouldn't, this would be arrogance to me. It's the concept of the humble confident rich man who knows what he knows but hires people to do the job he doesn't know how to do vs the middle class guy who thinks he knows enough to repair his hole house but ends up with inferior work in every area of his house he repaired because he thought he did as good a job as any expert.

To use your example: Lebron James maybe very confident playing basketball, considered one of the best. He has justifiable high-esteem in basketball but should he try to fight Vitali Klitshko for the heavy weight title and come in with a high-esteem in his abilities to beat him would be arrogant. Confidence is justifiable high-esteem on the other hand.

So as you mentioned even having high-self esteem could be detrimental to your health, if he stepped into the ring holding himself confidently against a guy who could knock his block off would be bad for him. He'd step in the ring and walk up thinking he could just hit him once and KO him, he doesn't realize this guy has trained to make you miss and capitalize on this miss, this blind faith and high-esteem regardless of outside force is arrogance to me not confidence.

It's the same with the rich white guy who thinks his reputation and respect follows him to the "ghetto" where people rob people for money, so they would never rob him. His high value of himself is deluded in this world, it is arrogance to me not confidence.

I guess what I'm saying is my idea of confidence always had the idea that you had high-esteem for yourself but understood your abilities and didn't let your abilities cloud your value of yourself amongst society. You hold yourself in as high-esteem as everyone else but not higher than anyone else.

True Core Confidence to me was always having a high-value, high-esteem, independent of anyone else while staying grounded and humble about your place in life and society. You can be confident in yourself as a person, but you don't have to be confident racing cars if you are used to driving a dump truck. If you think on the other hand you can drive dump truck thus you can race NASCAR it would be unjustifiable high self-esteem, arrogance.

When I say True Core Confidence, I'm talking more about that confidence in being yourself and holding your own value of yourself independent of anything outside of you. This isn't to be blinded and think you are better than someone else, the key to my ideal of confidence is humility. You are humble but have high-esteem for yourself.

What do you think of that thought kasabi? Perhaps you can massage this thought out more help me out. Just so you realize, I'm agreeing with all of your thoughts on it just kind of looking for more of a definitive word to describe what I'm talking about. I always thought of confidence and loving your "self" and be happy with yourself, not worrying about your "self-image" based on anothers perception of you, or being comfortable with your place and direction in society.

Arrogance to me is more ego related by the definition used, where as confidence to me is learning to be free of the ego.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Dude, your definition makes no sense and most people have no idea what they are talking about when they say ego and accordingly the dictionary.com definition is a bunch of nonsense. The origins of the word tell you more about what the concept was intended to define than a watered down contemporary definition. You use synonyms of confidence to define confidence. You truly do not understand how to define anything. You write a lot but none it isn't true

Note: Wiki can be changed by ANY PERSON. Dictionary.com is and official definition. What exactly more do you want?

So my definitions makes no sense but yours does? Hmmm... I got mine from dictionary.com and wiki(same as yours). You disincluded part of your definition to make you appear better. I've been nice to you on this thread, but your statements are redundant and honestly stupid. I've provided how many sources to your ONE! LOL Just saying, you aren't even smart enough to read the articles I mention yet you say what?

Words change, definitions change. That is how it goes. Ain't is a word now. Don't act like you know shit about the English language if you still use another language to define it. How could you honestly feel you have a leg to stand on here??? Seriously explain to me your logic. You have none. Think of it this way your math is 2 + 2 = 5. You are a 1984 brainwashed character the difference is your brainwash comes from your ego (I need to be right). Someone told you that is what the ego is therefore it is, the problem is you never actually researched it.

It's fine if if you don't like the definition of it or if you want to create a new definition or even use ANOTHER LANGUAGES definition of it, but don't argue that I'm wrong when facts have been brought (OFFICIAL DEFINITION) and you have yet to disqualify it with any actual validity, how could you.

Synonyms include: aplomb, assurance, backbone, boldness, brashness, certainty, cool, courage, daring, dash, determination, elan, faith in oneself, fearlessness, firmness, fortitude, grit, hardihood, heart, impudence, intrepidity, mettle, morale, nerve, pluck, poise, presumption, reliance, resoluteness, resolution, self-possession, self-reliance, spirit, spunk, sureness, tenacity

I use Assurance, Certainty, cool, but I'd say I use examples with more regularity to describe the behavior of someone who is confident. As you can se none of those seem to actually define confidence even though they are "synonyms". Do you know what a synonym is? Or are you just using more words incorrectly so you can sound SUPER DUPER SMART?

Confidence can not be described as well as it can be modeled, confidence is a bunch of traits, not a single behavior. This makes a confidence an interesting argument. Confidence is not a trait, it is a mindset that includes tons of traits and behaviors.
I agree absolutely none of it isn't true. Thank you for finally agreeing with me with your final statement.


Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Nobody really exudes one quality without showing glimpses of the other. . .

"Arrogance", by definition is a verbal and/or physical manifestation of high self esteem. It is completely possible for somebody with high self esteem/low ability to be not arrogant at all. All he has to do is smile and keep his mouth shut. Of course one who is high self-esteemed in the art of communication will not be able to do this. . .

High self esteem/low ability + arrogance is low self esteems best friend. The problem is that these folks go out advertising to the World, "Look at me! Look at me! I'm a fucking retard!" - For obvious reasons, others will treat them as fucking retards. . . Then of course they go into a low self esteem spiral and hide out in their basements. I suppose the bat cave is where these guys look up a bunch of websites where other retards type up things like, "You are what you think. You can do it! You're a champ! You are so much better than everybody else! Women are bitches! you're a winner!" - Then they go on another "high self esteem/low ability + arrogance roller coaster ride.

There are of course a bunch of ^these folks around here. I suppose it's a natural fit.
No, it's the imbalance of self-esteem vs actual ability that is detrimental. Low self esteem + high ability, in my mind, is just as detrimental.

Overall, you're romanticizing the 'humble guy'.
I'm guessing you define "true core confidence" as an ability to make clear decisions. This really has nothing to do with "confidence" at all. Look . . .when you have no confidence with tight rope walking, just tell them you have no confidence. It's OK. You're still caught up with the idea that "confidence" = good. Lack of confidence = bad. There is nothing that is intrinsically good or bad.

Confidence has very little to do with humility. Look, if you've made 1,000,000 fucking sushi rolls in your life time, it's OK for you to think that you're better than everybody out there. You're going to serve your food up to royalty knowing full well that you're the best. You've got to earn it.


Arrogance is more related to mouth and its volume.
Again . . . this is a romanticist's view of "ego". Ego = bad, bad, bad. Not true. . . some of the most confident, talented, and successful people in the World EXPLODE with ego. The way the express it . . . well, that's the secret.