Whats the approach, I always do much better when the girl is standing next to me already. I never hesitate to open the girl who's trying to order a drink, sometimes i neg her and tell her i bet she can't get the bar tender's attention in the next 5 min... etc - this goes ok for me and then I work towards my other issues... but I always have trouble with the distance approaches.

In my head I think this:

"She saw me at the other end of the bar, she knows that If I walk up to her, then i walked all the way around the bar to talk to her. This means she already has value above me and sees me coming from a mile away"

I need some help understanding the mental confidence and the actual openers to use when you know that the girl is aware that you walked all the way across the bar to talk to her.

Thanks

Welcome to the forum gangstaoflove.

Ok, one idea is to go to the bathroom and "drop by her" on the way. It will also give you the time constraint.

Also, regarding the mental confidence. If you build your confidence enough, you can literally make eye contact with her, hold that eye contact as you move around the bar, if she follows you with her own eyes, the eye contact will be broke several times by the people between you two as you move, but if you maintain it, and she maintains it too, and you smile as you walk toward her, it can create a lot of tension just in that process. Good tension. She will be ANTICIPATING you coming to her. That's always a good thing.

Thanks bud, so I'm playing this in my mind. I see her and she watches me walk over to her table. Now its one thing to have a random question to ask a girl that just happens to be standing next to me, but what openers don't feel completely canned when you just put in all that effort to meet her?

Thanks!

This is the one time where you could simply walk up and confidently just say hi. If you wana be a bit more ballsy add to that, "I saw you stareing at me..." then add to that more C&F "and i figured id come closer so you could see me better." or "and i came over to tell you if you plan on stalking me, ill be forced to call the police." etc.

You could also use the opener..."Are you (guys) shy? I've been standing here talking to my friend for like 5 minutes now and you still haven't said 'hi'."

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

If you use the approach of maintaining eye contact with her the whole time you're walking toward her, you definitely need a more cocky, confident opener, because that would be congruent to the action you just took. Ka gave a couple of good examples of that.

You could also just say "you gonna keep staring at me, or are you actually gonna talk to me?" with a confident smile.

match her gaze, gesture her over to you. If she does it well done, on looks alone you've got her to come over to you, if she declines fuck her. Mabye leter you'll be in a better place to say something.

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'Oh my, you sir are the Moriarty of self awareness and personnal refelection'

What a title!

I like your thinking LA Tripp
Im not sure about the last opener though, but still, this is good stuff.

Im just wondering now when the next time i will be in that situation, probly not as often as i like