| The majority of people live their lives ruled in some way by fear; whether it be from government, religion, society, ourselves, death..... From the time we are raised we are warped into a twisted weak mind bent by society and constricted by fear. The fear of the self is fear of one's" shadow".
Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected. - Carl Jung
According too Jung in each of us is a dark shadow side that has been nurtured over the years by our repressed feelings and darkest desire. Society from the time we are raised teaches us too repress it therefore making it inherently darker and stronger. In our constant quest to suppress our shadow we develop an inherent fear of it. We come afraid too even accept that this is "part" of you.
The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.
- Carl Jung
Integrating the shadow too Jung, was an important part on the quest too self-actualization. With that being said society still would have us repress our shadow. To which most people then quietly only allow "dark" thoughts too only exist in our minds and not to be acted on. We easily find ourselves afraid of this, because even thinking those thoughts might drive us too acting upon them. In regards too pick up "fear of the shadow" directly relates weaknesses with women.
To be able to conquer our fears of rejection and failure with women one must confront his shadow. If you aren't capable of escalating with a women or are afraid to talk in a sexual way because of "what she might think" then you haven't confronted your shadow. In order to come to terms with your shadow you must sit down and truly look at who you are not just on the surface, but what you hide from the world (and yourself).
To build confidence you have to have a foundation. A foundation of who you are as a man. If you live your life repressing part of who you are, how can you ever hope too be a complete person. Coming too terms with your shadow will lead too a deeper understanding of the self and (hopefully) a basis of confidence in who you REALLY are. Then perhaps you can start shedding away your fear.
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CHAT