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not sure if this is related to emotional reactivity, but expressing emotions and emoting yourself are very powerful tools, there is no reason at all to hide emotions infact it is quite counter productive to try to remain stoic, expressing your emotions causes other people to feel the emotions you are expressing when you are doing so from a place of expression rather then reaction,
having emotional reactions from other people and living in reaction to others out of a need to fill something that is missing, needing leadership from others and having others define the meaning for your existance and who you are, this is the deep seeded route of emotional reaction, when someone says something unimportant to you but you need to prove yourself to them so you get angry or irritated, and that emotion sparks a reaction, when someone intimidates you and you feel the need to stop talking around them out of reaction for fear of what they may say or do, when somone starts irritating you because they have been saying the same thing over and over again, these are all reactions to other people and a lack of control over yourself, trying to solve inner problems and improve your over all control over yourself and your emotions will help you deal with these issues as well as trying to understand why you have these reactions in the first place can help you,
meditation, and practise controling your own emotional state can help you with this and have been the two things that have helped me the most with this issue as it is one of my main focal points
it is not expressing your emotions that you avoid, it is not being able to control them in reaction to other people, and neediness is also an inner issue that has to deal with a feeling that having exterior validation will somehow make you feel complete, and the internal only gets fucked up once you realize that once you have that validation it is only a quick fix and is never enough, something will always be missing until you learn to fill that void with yourself, you are all you need and there is enough of you to give to others, no one could ever give you more then what you could already give yourself, once you can find who you really are this should stop happening to you, but that is the journey that never ends, you have to take the journey and find yourself, realize that you can be happy simply because you will it, learn to control your own emotional state and practise holding your focus on how you want to feel, learn to seek your own approval, rather then the approval of others and improve yourself,
try to be more proactive in day to day interactions, be the person in control of the frame, act through your own intentions, do what you want, and transfer and express your emotions to other people so they feel what you feel, you will find when you feel good, people will find being around you good, when you speak they will get giggly and laugh, when you are irritated they will feel it and start to become the same until you are at each others throats, if you are emotionally neutral what you are saying and doing will become neutral and things tend to get boring, when you are sad you can bring others down, etc. etc. etc., learn to generate your own emotional state
being happy is like a drug, and you can do it all day long if you want and have the mental strength and focus
This is good advice.. I agree with a lot of what you say. I practice meditation. I also work on something where I think of my (Wants VS Needs) If I think of things in this light I find that I need very little out of life. I want quite a bit. I dream big, u know. So when someone without my knowledge level of social dynamics enters my world, and they do or say something out of character with out true emotion. I sense it. I pick up on Bullshit better now these days. I feel what I want to feel when I want to feel it in a relationship. When someone does not open up to me after I take the regard to open up. I get super defensive. Its like a alarm clock goes off inside of me that says. (Do not keep putting yourself out there, you will get hurt.) A part of me knows that this is some part of me that throws caution to the wind... At this point in my thinking!! I come to a point in any, situation, relationship or report.. Where I am 50 50 about how to take my actions. Like I could flip a coin.
My feelings say; "Be true, express yourself in any regard. Keep it real Cha."
My logic says; "Knock it off Cha, your obviously more mature then the person involved in this. So act, as if.. Or act numb or carefree. This way you will be safe."
You can totally flip a coin and I do not know what will be right. Its just a delema that I face as of late. I have been on this forum for over 6 months now actively. There feels like there is no right or wrong here. Also, I used to be internal. I feel like I am more external as of late.
CHAT
