hello everybody,
In my college thread,
j-slays-college-thread-vt119121.html?highlight= i have detailed what i believe are the 5 most overall important aspects of game. Aspects that will make you a more well-rounded person besides from specifically being good at night or day game.
Here they are:
- inner game
- mid game / conversational skills
- body language / clothing
- social proof / reputation
- escalating / being sexual
I posted My inner game article
inner-game-vt120557.html?highlight= before i realized that I wanted to write articles about the other topics in depth as well.
I guess this is the second installment of what Ezo called "Inspirational Posts" hahaha
I hope you enjoy reading them.
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MID GAME AND CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS
Do you ever get "tongue-tied" when you’re talking to someone - especially someone you’re interested in?
Cat got your tongue? At a loss for words?
This is a big fear for many people. They dont want to be embarrassed when they become awkward and slip up during a conversation.
But you are probably wondering about yourself. Oh this happens to me or it doesnt at all. IF it doesnt, then you sir are already good at having conversations.
BUT
you may not be good at steering conversations, converting them from comfort to attraction, or changing topics mid conversation.
I admit, i am not good at this either. I am better than most and i still need to improve a lot. But recognizing the problem is the first step to correcting it. I have taken my first step.
Mid Game is after you opened and hooked the target. Mid game is the first or second change in conversation topic that you will have after opening. Typically you want to transition into attraction and tension by the third or fourth topic.
Things to improve on:
1) Starting conversations - You need to decide whether you will open direct or indirect. From your opener you will decide a conversation topic. Or come into an interaction with ideas about things you would like to talk about, then ask about them.
typically You need to Introduce a topic with enthusiasm otherwise the woman will sense that you are just bullshitting her, or just speaking nonsense just to get into her pants. If you want to actually talk with someone, make sure you sound, look and talk like someone who cares.
Also pick a topic wisely
"Although there exist many thousand subjects for elegant conversation, there are persons who cannot meet a cripple without talking about feet." - Ernest Bramah
2) You need to be a better listener. Listening is an active task - it doesn’t mean simply saying "uh huh" every few seconds or nodding your head. You’ve got to actually pay attention to the person speaking. Why? Because you’re going to use their conversation to keep things going.
Also, if you’re at all interested in this person, you show it with your body language and your ability to listen to them. If you’re not listening, this person will detect it right away.
"Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request."— Phillip Stanhope
"Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. —Publilius Syrus,
First Century BC, Maxim 914
3) "Open-Ended" Questions - are questions that require an actual answer, in that the question cannot be satisfied by either a yes or no answer.
For example: "Great place - what do you like most about coming here?" is open-ended. These types of questions gives the person the chance to express their opinions when they answer your question.
But keep it focused and simple. If you meet someone at church, Dont ask her "Why do you believe in God?" You will be asking her too big of a question. Ask her instead, "Why do you come to this church?"
"I found it very difficult to explain to someone why you did a film. It's not like having a conversation." - Charlotte Gainsbourg
KISS = keep it simple stupid
4) Usually with these opened ended questions, girls will ramble on and on. You need to take this time to pay attention and actively look interested in what they are saying. Pull important aspects of what they are saying and continue to ask her more open ended questions using her own responses.
This way, during lulls in conversation, you can re-engage her with something she had previously mentioned. She will get excited that you are such a good listener and she will go on another rant. Its the snowball effect, get that ball rolling! If you allow people to talk, they begin to think you are such a good person. Let them talk, and actively engage them at certain points with good, insightful comments and questions, to steer the conversation.
"For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships." - Deborah Tannen
5) Dont Dominate the conversation - girls want to hear themselves talk. If you talk more than her, they will think you are rude. IF you follow rule number 4 you wont get into this predicament.
"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much." - Yogi Berra
6) Being Honest - i hope its self explanatory. If you lie during a conversation, lets say about seeing a movie, and she mentions a part in the film that she loved, it is awfully hard to fake the interaction. It takes practice to bullshit your way out of situations like that. BUT IT IS BETTER NOT TO GET INTO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
STAY HONEST - "honesty is the best policy"
7) Body Language - You need to act like you care. You need to have good eye contact. Be alpha, shoulders back. But with a quizzical facial expression that conveys your interest in what she is saying.
8 ) Dont interrupt - that is just rude. Even if what she is saying is false, let her speak and interject when the moment is right.
"Logic and fact keep interfering with the easy flow of conversation." - Mason Cooley
"There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse." - John Locke
Of course, there will be certain situations and techniques that call for interruptions, but this thread is only about having conversations.
9) Transitioning in the Conversation - This is a sticking point for myself as well as others. I kno what to do, but often mess up because i sometimes i dont follow the first 7 rules.
Inorder to shift the conversation to another topic, during mid game, initially you need to engage the topic in something she enjoys talking about. (Rule #1.) While she is talking, make sure she believes that you are listening to everything, not just the important details. (Rule #2, 5, 7.) Be constructive in your comments to create more opportunities to get invested in the conversation. (Rule #3, 6.)
RULE #4 is key because you need to pick out the important details from what she is saying to use to your advantage!
Find certain things, subjects, events, etc while she is talking that "remind you" of this or that... then tell a DHV story that changes the topic!
OR
Ask another open ended question about that certain thing, subject, event, etc that is obviously sexually charged.
Cocky funny is very effective for the second tactic in that you can joke around about anything and make it sexual and funny.
For example: she is talking about a wedding she just went to, you could ask her if she hooked up with the best man? did she find a cute bachelor? etc... "oh i bet you found a cute bachelor to hook up with like in wedding crashers" (Of course, you need to be good at cocky funny to make this work effectively)
then transition into your own funny DHV story about (or similar to) that same subject and BOOM! You just transitioned into a new, hopefully, sexually charged topic that you can use to increase attraction and tension.
WAYS TO PRACTICE
- Talking to your friends, family, classmates
- trying to free style (rapping) to get good at thinking up things on the spot
- being improvisational and spontaneous to practice thinking things up on the spot and then actually doing them
- writing your thoughts down on paper. Starting on one topic completely non-sexual and in a logical progression and in a coherent manner, change the topic to sex.
The most important way to practice
- going out and sarging!
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I highly recommend reading this thread
dale-carnegie-principles-vt119795.html and Dale Carnegie's book. There is a reason why its still being talked about 80 years after it was published.
Happy Trails,
J Slay
CHAT
