The Value In Going Out Alone

I want to start this out by stating that I agree there are lots of many excellent things that can happen by going out with other guys, PUAs, wingmen, or whatever. In a "perfect" world there is tons of value that can be added by "someone who knows what they are doing." Yes those items in quotes are there for a reason and part of the disclaimer of going out with others.

I'd first tell you that until you are getting girls consistently on your own you shouldn't be winging someone else. The reason for this is very simple. Let's say PUA #1 has sticking points X, Y, & Z. Then you introduce PUA #2 and he has sticking points J, K, L into the set. Now you don't have just 3 sticking points that could prohibit you from getting the girl in set you have double the issues preventing you from possibly getting the girl in set.

Now I know what you are going to say... But they can play on each other's strengths... Well that's not entirely true because the guy who opens the set is leading the interaction. The wing is just there to keep obstacles entertained for the most part and to add value. If the main player who opened the set doesn't kino the wing can't do that for him, he can't make the guy close, or anything else really.
Ahhh ha, got you there huh!

Alright let's look at this a little deeper. Now when a wing knows what they are doing you gain a lot!

-Someone to pump up your mental state
-Someone to give you an outside perspective on how your game looks
-The ability to convert 2 sets to 3 sets to make isolation easier
-You aren't seen alone
-He adds value to your target for you
-Helps you deal with interruptions both internal and external
-Can help keep the energy level in set up
-Can help you build social proof

Let's be honest it typically doesn't work out this way! The reason for that is everyone has their own hurdles to overcome and is out for themselves not for each other. Which is why as much as we want to call this a "community" it's just a bunch of guys sharing stories that have common goals. It just happens we help each other out from time to time.

Let's look at some benefits to going out alone. #1 and probably the biggest reason for going out alone is the smaller learning curve. When you go out alone you tend to do better faster. Ask most of the masters about this when they first started going out there was in most cases a large period of time with going out alone. You learn very quickly what is working and what isn't working. You also tend to approach more sets when you are out alone cause you don't have anyone to speak with.

Not following the 3 second rule is a big one I see. Now there are some exceptions to this but I'm a firm believer when you get into a venue you need to open some group straight away. That's before getting a drink, smoke, etc. Most of the time when guys roll together they are compelled to stay by the group and not just peel off and do their thing. They will set and analyze sets trying to figure out what to do when they should just be approaching. The longer they take to sit and analyze the more likely they aren't going to approach that night.

Going out with others can be a social proof killer. I'll give you a few examples of this. The first is the basic you go out with a few guys who are into the game or maybe not but you're out to get women. Girls see 3+ guys walk into a bar...they aren't thinking there are 3 guys that just came to hang out and have a few beers. They are thinking there are 3 guys trying to get some!

Secondly, many many PUAs tend to move from their group of guys or wing to approach. When the set doesn't work out they go back to their wing standing in the corner or by the bar who isn't in set. They don't continue to approach and roll off to another set. By doing this you just told the bar you two are out to approach women only thus killing the venue for you. Then you continue to ping pong back and forth from your buddies to girls thus making matters worse for you. Very few PUAs and Wings go into a club seperate both open sets and work the whole venue, then end up back together but with women on their arms...

I'll say this nicely where ever two or more PUAs gather in the venue...stay away! Why? It's typically a grudge session, excuse session, or a field report breakdown of a set. That's right valuable time is being wasted instead of approaching by going over these things and they are generally negative in nature and can bring you down even if you are having a good night. It's easy to get sucked into this vacuum of negativity and not approaching.... worst of all, you'll justify to each other why you are done approaching for the night, and be okay with it!

Logistics at times are easier with one guy than two. You just have less to worry about overall if you are working by yourself. You don't have to worry about your wing hitting on your target, you forgetting his DHV intro, him screwing up coming into the set, or more. It forces you to work groups by yourself and get better at social dynamics. Yes even a lone guy can open a set of 8+ women and hold the set together. It's not hard, just different!

This is one of the biggest reasons I think a lot of people don't go out alone. You have no one to blame but yourself at the end of the night. You can't blame your wingman, come up with a fancy excuse of why you didn't get the girl, or anything else. I think that accountability is the big reason why a lot of guys don't go alone.

The second biggest reason a lot of guys don't go out alone is the fact they are uncomfortable being out not to mention being out by themselves. It takes a while to calibrate to being out not to mention being out alone. One of the ways to ease the transition is to work the hired guns at the venue and the other employees. Befriending people that work in your favorite venues will give you people to talk to during down times...especially if you arrive early. This will further build your social proof later down the road for that venue as well.... See there is a method to my madness.

Bottom line guys is don't be afraid to go out alone if you have to. There are many many positives to it. Sure there "can" be positives to going out with an experienced wingman or other guys "BUT" finding a good wing who is positive, motivating you, knowing what they are doing, and actually helping your game is tough. Consider the guys you are going out with and really dig down and ask yourself if they are helping you or holding you back.

Peace & Love,

JSmooth

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Absolutely agree for the most part!

A wing doesnt bring his sticking points to the party if his counterpart is strong enough to carry the weight of two. Not common though.

I have also seen the Ping-Pong effect and it can kill an entire evening.

A sarging session can easily become a beer night out with the guys if you arent careful.

Plus, if you go out with your non-PUA friends, you revert back to your AFC role. The way you were before learning all of this. Because if you dont, your friends will try to ridicule you to get you to start behaving as yourself.

So yes, go out with a good wing or go out alone. Unless you are training someone of course.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I agree wholeheartedly.

A year ago, I would have said it was sad for a dude to hit up the bar by himself, unless he was just there twenty minutes to grab a beer after work, maybe.

I first started reading about this stuff in April/May. By July I was tired of reading and started going out solo. I've not done a ton of solo sessions since, maybe a dozen or so. And the first couple of times were definitely flops, just me trying to get used to being comfortable being by myself in an environment that I thought was somehow wrong to be alone in. Last weekend, though, it was all just clicking in my head. I chatted to people as I walked by, bartenders and bouncers, I was upbeat. Hell, I'll be honest, I first got in the car and Jason DeRulo's "Ridin Solo" was the first song on the radio and that just got me psyched.

I only ended up closing one of 4 sets. I can do better, but it is staggering how comfortable I am just going out alone. I feel like if I only went out with friends it would just be an excuse not to practice.

JSmooth, thanks for your sharing. What is a good excuse if your target asks you why you are coming in a club on your own?

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

A few things:

In order to take down the point that, if women see you doing the ping pong effect that kills the evening; well, Imma call BS on that.
It kills the place you are at, not the evening for you. Applying the same reasoning Smooth did, if the sargers are out there to get some, Im sure as hell they can change the place.
Example: we first meet at a bar, neutral place to get some drinks and have a good time, and if we blew it there, we can move to the nightclub. Hell, an after party is good too. If the player is in the mood, he will get some.

While we are on subject, yes, it is true most of the time ppl see negative shit that can bring you down as fast as a thought; this doesnt mean it`ll happen to you.

Matter of fact, I never sarged as good as the time I went out with a guy who was pumping the shit outta me, we were potentializing each other in order to wing us and learn some. This was my best night of sarging.

I wanna admit something: I never did solo, nor I intend to do so. Maybe once or twice just to know the feeling, but not for getting girls I wont.

If they see 3 guys coming to the place to get some, what would they see if you are the guy coming there alone?
Lets face it, you are the lone wolf and deamn right you are talking girls to get some. Its the same, in fact, going out with FRIENDS can serve you for a good allaby if the girl is giving you a shit test. "Hey, I came here to chill with my friends, same as everyone else, I thought you look like someone I could have fun with and I said hello."

Once again, I might be saying this couse I never did went out alone, but I do have a good time with others =)

Sorry if I said it kills the evening, meant it kills the venue. There are definite advantage to going out with people if they are doing the right things but that is a big IF.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Gong out solo is the best! Nice to see someone else that advocates going out alone, if you do want to go out with a friend/wing make sure separate cars, in case you take a girl home.

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I'd just like to bring this question back up, because no one answered it.

Now when I go out to concerts or clubs (too young for bars) I go with the new social circle I've built for myself, never alone. Then even if I'm roaming the venue on my own, if I see someone I know I can tell them who I'm with, or if I get along well with a girl I can bring her back to my friends.

When I first started going out, I went out some on my own and saw some people I knew. I immediately got "Who are you here with??" and there was no good answer. I'm not sure how I would handle this situation with confidence.

There are lots of ways to handle this and its good you ask cause it can and does come up as you pointed out. The good thing for me personally is I know several people at most of the venues that work there so I always have "Friends" I'm out seeing.

When in doubt I point to a set I've already talked to and say I'm with friends or that people will be coming later. I thinking I've also said things like, "Can't a guy just go out to have fun alone?" and other things of that nature.

This is just a typical shit test and you can react to it in a number of ways by either not reacting to it and ignoring it or addressing it and moving on.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I think it works well for me because i don't have anyone looking over my shoulder, or giving me a hard time if I screw up.