i always had a problem with rsd's teachings of getting rid of your ego. i thought i like my ego. it lets me feel awesome when im succesful and shitty when not. but thats part of being human, right? i don't know. these 5 pages have gotten me thinking. i'm now not so sure if i should keep holding on to it. the thing is, i -totally- agree that my ego is holding me back. so can you help me here guys... how can i get rid of the part of my ego thats holding me back in everyday life, everyday approaches and having true fun just hanging in a club, but at the same time keeping that part of me that allows me to be proud of my achievements? can those two philosophies be combined? you guys rock! andy

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I know there are a lot of unbelievable things about me. But the problem is that they are all true. - Mehow

This thread is awesome and seems much needed on this forum. Thank you for the effort

My values are very similar to OPs. PUAs (especially the ones in the making) shouldn't lack genuine love and respect for women.

Just looking back at my original posts makes me cringe as they just scream KJ. Now I am implementing stuff I have read and I think I can remove the title KJ. However I apologize for my original posts as I was recycling stuff I have read. A possible solution in lowering the number of KJs is making this thread a sticky or sending new accounts an email explaining the KJ situation.

Listening to The Power Of Now is helping me reduced the influence of my ego on my actions, just wondering if there is any other content out there which will help in increasing self awareness that is worth a read?

Eyrie

Great toppic! And great post.
It is true that often people dont quite know why they are doing something or want something. I had a goal to sleep with a different girl every week, like barney in How i met your mother. It seemed cool to me, and like something I want. I acually managed to achieve that goal and whitin weeks I realized that it was not it... I actually didnt want that. I just wanted to flirt and have the balls to make the move when the girl I relly like shows up (which happens to me a couple times a year, not each week).
But, its hard to keep your head straight. Success with women gives you social standings more than anything elce. Money, clothes, car, sports it all doesent make you so cool in other peoples eyes as being good with women. But we all love to be popular, that is normal. Who wouldnt? Its just about finding the balance in witch you dont cross the line of doing things you really dont want just to be popular.
I got this whole area of my life figured out, and I have great success with women. But this is the one thing that sometimes bothers me (when do i hit on a girl because i really like her vs because i want to be cool infront of other people and have an eago stroke for myself. It does feel good... no doubt about it

Just to mention one thought I had recently and I woul like all of yours thoughts about this.

I was out and saw this hot irish girl. Now i dont really have aa and I am good at approaching and ewerything, thats not the point here. The point is that I really didnt want to approach, i was feeling lazy and I honestly did not want to have sex or seduce anyone that night. It was more a chill out night with my friends. But when i remembered it tomorrow i thought to myself:
ok i didnt want to do it, but maybe i should have? If she liked me it would have turned into a great memory. Maybe a bj, sex or only making out and meeting a cool irish girl.
Sometimes it is smarter to do something you dont actually want if it could give you a better memory later in life? Like your friends ask you out and you dont want to go, but you go anyway and you have a blast! Later you are glad you went out aldo before you really didnt feel like it.

What are your thoughts on that?

This thread is too good to be lost on some page in which no one will read. Reading through my old posts I just remembered how useful this was in helping me. So enjoy the BUMP.

Eyrie

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My journal: eyrie-s-journal-to-becoming-the-man-vt148355.html

--If you are not giving, you are not living--

I just read this. I personally do not think having an ego is a problem. I don't think you can accomplish much feeling like a loser and a failure. Also, I think there is a difference between validating yourself and having a chip on yourshoulder. I don't think you can do anything if you're trying to validate yourself, because you don't actually believe in yourself. While as when you have a chip on yourshoulder, you feel like you are better and you want the satisfaction of proving it. In sports, having a chip on your shoulder is always a good thing.

I don't think having an ego is necessarily a bad thing, but it can be because people don't tend to be humble. They don't tend to want to be grounded, they don't want to grind. IF something can be easier they generally want it to be easier. This is especially dangerous when something as strong as your sex drive is involved. If you have an ego you may think things could be eaiser and you may stop working hard, you may act delusionally. you may think girls will just like you. You're supposed to use your ego to work harder, to improve yourself. You're not supposed to get the big head and sit on your ass.

I totally relate to this
I came looking for something tonight and found this thread.
The question is, what the fuck i am doing? Why i hit girls that i dont really like, and why "use" this girls?

Now i know, is EGO. All my family, friends, coworkers admire my lifestyle, beign a single and fuck wherever i like when i like. They put an script in my life that i must fulfill and i bought it...

I dont want an LTR by the way, but i must stop treating girls like objets and find the ones i really like.

Nothing is wrong with the Ego as long as you can appreciate the consequences of your actions, work hard, don't take things forgranted, stay focused, stay grounded, correct your mistakes and treat others properly. In fact, I encourage you to have an ego. Every instinct or feeling has a natural purpose. The purpose of the ego being for confidence and self-esteem pre-experience. A child hears all these nice things about his or her self and these things build the ego and the ego encourages you to do things before you have any experience. The ego is kind of like blind confidence. It makes you comfortable in all situations.

Thanks Chief.

Bump.

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Two words: Carpe Diem