Alright, so here's a bigass wake-up call to the majority of the people on this forum. I will not just sit back and watch this forum go down the toilet as a bunch of KJs allow themselves to represent this site.
As many of you may already know, a lot of what I preach has a lot to to with taming your ego. Why? Simply put, allowing your ego to guide you holds you back in ways you can't even imagine. Your ego is by far the greatest obstacle in self-improvement, mastering the pickup arts, and your overall path to self-actualization.
Virgins with less than a dozen forum posts are hanging out in the PUA chat all day giving advice and making themselves sound better at game than they actually are. People are posting routines they write up before field-testing them. Lay reports are more often than not sounding like brag reports. Newbies are asking questions, getting answers, but choosing not to go out and do what they know they need to do. Intermediate PUAs log on every day to get their fix off of giving advice without moving forward themselves. Both newbies and intermediates are complaining about how other AFCs that they know aren't willing to become their students.
I am not exempt from guilt. Every single person, including myself, on this planet has at some point in their lives allowed the egos to determine their actions. Even when guys are just starting off, they're starting off the wrong way, having their egos motivate them. Because of this, I pledge to consistently try to remain conscious of my ego and constantly work to keep it in the back seat.
If you see someone like Mystery on the VH1 show and think, "Wow, I want to be able to pick up any girl I see. I want other guys to envy me and see me as some sort of super-powered Casanova," you're fucking starting out on the wrong foot.
If you hear about how guys go around making out with random chicks within 30 seconds and think "Wow, I want that superpower so other guys can envy me," you're in the wrong mindset.
If you find yourself giving a bunch of advice to people when you haven't even tried half the stuff you're preaching in the field, you're doing it just so other guys can look at you and say, "Wow, you're amazing!" Fuck that shit.
Do all that stuff and you may fool other guys, but guess who you're NOT fooling? You're not fooling girls. THEY can smell the stench of ego-motivated behavior from a mile away and it stinks as bad as desperation. Wonder why you're not getting laid? It's because the girls can sense, "Oh, it feels like he needs to validate his ego off of me. Ew. How objectifying. What a creep."
Guess who else you're not fooling? Yourself. This is even more important because it makes you feel unworthy on a deeper level and constructs all these ridiculous success barriers that you may never even see.
Become the best man you could possibly be while humbling yourself to the fact that you currently are not at that level. Help your fellow brothers who are on the same path as you, but know that all men on this same path are equals, so give advice in a way that primarily helps others pull themselves up instead of doing it in a way that forces them to look up to you. That's a community.
EDIT:
I am adding a much-needed second part to this post.
OK, so if your ego isn't going to be your motivation, WHAT IS? What is going to fuel your desire for practicing this wonderful hobby? Whatever happened to becoming the best man you can be? Doesn't "best" kinda imply ego-driven goals? Sure, you should be driven by a desire to sincerely improve yourself, and yes that is a necessary component (after you remove the ego, of course), but there is something else...
Whatever happened to a genuine love for women? Here's a post straight out of my blog:
Quote:
I was having a conversation with one of my pledge brothers today and he was asking me why I do this whole pickup thing.
I remember when I first started liking girls. I was really young - second grade. My first crush was this blonde girl named Jessica, and that's all I remember about her. From that early age I started developing a deep appreciation for feminimity and for both the pain and joy it brings to my life. I learned to really love women. Seriously, I love women to death now. I think they're the most beautiful creations on the face of this planet, physically, mentally, spiritually. I am grateful for pickup; it showed me how to express my appreciation for such beauty without being a creeper lol.
My pledge brother was under the impression that I saw women as objects, and he brought it up when I was comparing pickup to a hobby that he liked to do, swimming.
I told him that, like pickup, the reason a swimmer would continue swimming after he had achieved all he wanted to achieve (mastering the discipline, winning trophies and competitions, etc.) would be because he simply loved to swim.
"OK, so if pickup is to women as swimming is to water, wouldn't that mean you're treating women as things?" he asked. By his logic, water is a thing, and according to that analogy, a woman would also be a thing.
I poured my heart out when I replied, connecting to that part of me that really felt a loving passion for the female half of our species, "No. Even though I'm not a swimmer, I can imagine that if I were a swimmer who was really passionate about swimming, I wouldn't see water as a thing. I'd look out into the ocean and I wouldn't just see WATER. I'd see a partner. Every droplet of water that touches my skin when I'm moving through that ocean would be a little taste of enlightenment. And I would feel on a gut-level that the ocean was actually HAPPY for me to swim in it."
"Touche."
We can't be so egotistical as to shine the spotlight of focus exclusively on ourselves in this performance art. The audience is one of the most important parts.
I started pick because i was the short fat D&D playing computer geek. I have been through many phases and I watched the same thing happen at mASF. The KJ's took over, However it also made it possible for people to shine through because they gave and gave and the KJ's just took.
The KJs wanted every routine and pattern known to man and will hound the shit out of you for them. eventually the PUAs who actually practiced and earned their rep said alright but it will cost you.
The sad part about the community is the amount of people that actually want to improve but they are stuck; they lack the motivation; they lack the will power; they are just good old fashioned scared to walk into a club by themselves(my first time was terrifying to me.) but it is ego that keeps people from taking the fist step.
I have seen people who advertise that they coach who could not open a set. On the Flip side I have seen seriously famous PUAs have nights where their AA is so bad they just stood there.
The thing that i think separates a KJ from a PUA is how he deals with his fears of looking stupid.
CHAT
