It's always interesting when the members of the forum like yourself are honest with the forum and give all the details. Good thread.
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From what I gather here, you had great times together, is that not better? I think yes!
She has the memory of "the best sex she has had in years", is that not better, again YES!
If things would've ended like the initial post, then that "leave her better than you found her thing" would not have been true. But the mature heart-to-heart follow up conversation is how you actually achieve that. I initially didn't expect RR to do that.
And I think it's a bit silly to call this oneitis. All I see is a guy who has feelings but decided a long time ago he would never date. That's going to cause cognitive dissonance. Depending on the decision, this could end up altering your self image -- which is often the result of dissonance. Complicated situation for just a simple crush!
If I was you RR, I would try getting a firm grasp on if what I think I wanted and what I actually wanted aligned. I promise we will all still think your alpha, regardless of what feelings you discover
And you may want to PM 870. I have a feeling recent events in 870's life may make it an interesting convo -- you two seem similar to me, although I don't know you well like 870.
Good luck, whatever that may be. But don't base your decision on avoiding getting hurt. Like in most things, if you limit the downside, you are also limiting the upside. That truth is something I embrace in everywhere from the financial markets to my employment. But I still struggle applying it to females.