I'm not a fan of the, "lets go get blown out" strategy. More often than not it is an ego defence, "Hey I didn't REALLY get rejected, because that was my plan all along harr harr"

Watch the 18 year old who's been getting pushed into the mud every day by his peers and laughed at by every girl he's liked for the past 8 year, shit his pants when you suggest... "What about asking that waitress out for a date?"

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As someone who loves snakes, being bitten by a diamondback was the exact way I developed a fear of rattle-snakes, not vice versa.

Absolutely, isn't the whole purpose of pick-up to LEARN and IMPROVE?

Now there isn't anything inherently wrong with the entire 'Blow-out' approach as long as you are learning something for the next one. What have you learned. How can you use that, to be more successful when you are approaching seriously???

So both have their places.

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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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here-vp445642.html#445642

If you spend your entire day getting blown out on purpose, then yes, that would be retarded. The point of why we use it (apart from the fact that it WORKS!) is because it tells guys - listen, you went out there, you got her attention, and you delivered the WORST pickup line EVER - so this must be the WORST "rejection" you could ever get. And, what happened? She said no, or laughed, or walked away. That's IT. That's ALL you were afraid of! She didn't call the police, or punch you, or eat your face! Now, imagine what would happen if you said something actually GOOD!

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Really? I don't think so.
What it also teachs is, "see people don't like you when you approach"

Stick an arachnaphobe in a bathtub with 10 Thai tigers (a tarantula breed that is notoriously aggressive). And when he is bitten several times and climbs out in pain give him a shot of anti-histamines to counter-act the venom. Then tell him as he qaukes with fear the red bite marks still burning all over his body....

"Look! That was ten super aggressive spiders which you were stuck in a bathtub with! And your still alive!"

How do you think he's going to re-act the next time he sees a picture of that spider? You honestly think the "look I'm still alive" gives him any comfort?"
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If your going to beat an anxiety with de-sensitisation then you provide the stimulus WITHOUT the negative response. Otherwise you just re-inforce the anxiety.

If you want someone to lose their fear of approaching then put them in....

Approach -> Positive outcome.

Don't put them in

Approach -> Negative outcome.

Seems like another candidate for a powerful musical drama/thriller.

*For full effect, the following should be spoken to yourself in that deep baritone movie theater trailer voice.:

"A Fall From Grace" - One man . . . Wears jeans and a sweatshirt to a karaoke bar. He does not sing Elvis, nor does he sing Sinatra. He stares down an HB7 but cannot ask for her opinions on ladies shoes. (The chorus of ladies in the bar hold out their shoe to show that they have opinions. The stereotypical Asian guy up on stage sings, "Hey man, Even I have an opinion about lady shoe!" The bartender stares at the hooded guy with pity. Shakes his head, offers Scotch. The hooded guy literally falls off of the bar-stool slo-mo!) FALLEN! . . . Coming soon to a theater near you."

if you can deliever the WORST pick-up line ever...and still close it....now that's what I call the game.

hey Vik,
Good post man, but don't get down on yourself. You have been having all these inner game problems but you are tackling them head on all the time. Do you notice a change in yourself, bro? If you are anything like me then just having these problems pointed out to you is huge.
Here is a tiny bit of practical that helped me. You said you walked in talked to your friends and then went to get a drink. I used to ALWAYS open one set before a friends/drink. I earned a drink for myself and it made an impression on my friends. It's probably a habit I should get back into. I think on the pickup artist Mystery said something about "giving love to the room" Try it and let me know how it works for you.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

kasabi: i totally wanna see that movie!

fin, ryan and the rest of you guys: you all kick ass! thanks for the peptalk, and the pickmeup! i appreciate it emencly.

and to my mentor, jits: thanks for havin my back! seriously! i can honestly say, that there have been a TON of changes in me since coming to the community. for starters, i have finally gotten outta my funk (for anyone who hasnt read my posts/history etc go read it for more info, not gonna rehash it here) gotten outta my funk, and im going out again... LOTS! already been out twice this week, and goin out again tonight.

my new rule will be, to give the room some love before i get a beer. make myself earn it!