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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:27 pm 
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While I will not DISagreee with you - the reality is that "be confident" is the worst advice ever - while this is what many systems encourage, the effective systems instead give material and step by step processes to confidence. The reason for this is that to your average socially anxious/inept person, saying "be confident" is about as useful as saying "be a PUA" they have no idea how to do it and woudln't even know where to start.

It is a nice summary of the base of most PUA techniques, but it is over simplistic and not helpful to an AFC. (no hate).
Telling an un-confident person to "be confident" is like throwing a non-swimmer in a river and shouting "swim!" However I still think they are two good points. Just get some swimming lessons.
On the other hand, the best way to learn is to just do it and see for yourself. Maybe drowning isn't the best example haha, but as a guitarist, I look at it like this:

An instructor can teach you scales and notes and theory until they are blue in the face, but you won't ever develop your own style until you break away from that and just do it yourself. Think about your favorite few bands. Each of them has their own distinguished and recognizable style that cannot be taught. You've probably heard a new song on the radio before and have been able to figure out the band before the DJ tells you who it is. Style is something that is just felt. Everyone holds the guitar differently. I play barre chords using my thumb because it gives my other fingers more mobility to improv. My one jam-session mate uses his index finger to barre and that's fine because his style doesn't require his other fingers to move from a fixed position. Not one of us is better than the other... we just have different styles that we found work for us through experimentation and just playing.

So is the thumb better than the index finger? No. It all comes down to preference and style. I was taught guitar using my index to barre, but on my own time and through experimentation, I learned to prefer my thumb.

Summary: Throw those non-swimmers into the water... but give them some inflatable "water-wings" on their arms AKA give direction but allow each person to find his or her own style and flow.
Agreed. As long as you're working towards the goal not necessarily 'lessons' like I said. I'm a self-taught guitarist and my technique is shit, but it still sounds cool which is the important thing. Without people doing things their own way we would still be listening to 30's rock n' roll.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:21 pm 
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Yea once you have the confidence everything will flow nicely from that as long as your not being chodey about it. Methods are there to give people the confidence to start trying but once you get better at it you develop your own method.

Your own method is just basically your own character brought into action without any fear. Sure from time to time you may bring in some new stuff but your core self doesnt change.

This happens through experience and getting a shit lot of rejection but ultimately you emerge out the other side a better person

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 7:27 pm 
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Sorry man. You are right... My Alzheimers is starting early this year.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:46 pm 
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3) not giving a shit what other people think of you. (including her if she blows you off)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:00 am 
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When it comes right down to it, any reasonable method will work as long as two things are present:

1) The complete, unwavering belief that the girl is attracted to you.

2) A non-creepy way to sexually escelate.

Its that simple. Any other stuff in the method is just icing on the cake.

Keep this in mind and it will serve you well.

Warped Mindless
I think you may wanna add non-needyness to that. It's one of the most powerful things in creating attraction without you really having to do anything. If you're non-needy, a lot of the rest will follow more naturally.

Much Love

~Finesse

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 8:07 pm 
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When it comes right down to it, any reasonable method will work as long as two things are present:

1) The complete, unwavering belief that the girl is attracted to you.

2) A non-creepy way to sexually escelate.

Its that simple. Any other stuff in the method is just icing on the cake.

Keep this in mind and it will serve you well.

Warped Mindless
I think you may wanna add non-needyness to that. It's one of the most powerful things in creating attraction without you really having to do anything. If you're non-needy, a lot of the rest will follow more naturally.

Much Love

~Finesse
If you have a complete, unwavering belief shes attracted to you, you will probably be naturally un-needy. But still, good point.

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 Post subject: confidnece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:58 am 
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I think a great way to boost confidnece is to obvioulsy get out of your comfort zone but you need to do it in a prodcutive way. Learning some form of art I believe is one of the most powerful examples.

Examples

Martial Arts - kicking, punching, yelling in a group environment

Dance Classes - moving your hips in way you never thought possible, most probably in front of hot chicks too

Drama - learning how to use your voice and body language!!!

Painting - Letting out your inner imagination

all of these are art forms and there are countless more, they all follow patterns, routines and repetitions which in turn build on your character and confidence not to mention they are great talking points.

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 Post subject: Re: confidnece
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:21 am 
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I think a great way to boost confidnece is to obvioulsy get out of your comfort zone but you need to do it in a prodcutive way. Learning some form of art I believe is one of the most powerful examples.

Examples

Martial Arts - kicking, punching, yelling in a group environment

Dance Classes - moving your hips in way you never thought possible, most probably in front of hot chicks too

Drama - learning how to use your voice and body language!!!

Painting - Letting out your inner imagination

all of these are art forms and there are countless more, they all follow patterns, routines and repetitions which in turn build on your character and confidence not to mention they are great talking points.
I totally agree with getting out of your comfort zone. I always say, find out what your afraid of doing and go do it asap.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:05 pm 
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I keep meaning to learn salsa or something :P


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:56 pm 
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2) A non-creepy way to sexually escalate.
This I agree with, being able to escalate sexually but being strong enough to risk appearing creepy in the process.
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1) The complete, unwavering belief that the girl is attracted to you.
Yes, this is what most methods teach, but is one of the main issues i have with most methods, its delusional to think that EVERY woman you approach is or could be attracted to you. i don't agree with any delusions weather it be the negative/positive 'social conditioning' or self inflicted delusion or delusional confidence....any delusion is simply running from reality and sooner or later no matter how deluded you are, reality will find you.

The few methods/gurus i do have respect for (Gunwitch and sixty) are the ones that stay away from these 'feel good' delusions, the ones that say, not every woman is going to be attracted to you, be prepared for this, be willing to put you ego aside and hear a few no's, you will be better for it...and if your willing to persevere through the no's you'll get the yes's you want.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 7:42 am 
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I keep meaning to learn salsa or something :P
Salsa is awesome. Ive had a few beginner classes and they were extremely fun.

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