I have decided condoms are literally the bane of my existence, I got a girl back both naked in bed asks if I have a condom, yeah sure its erm ..... errr ... erm cue 2 minutes of condom hunting based mood killing.

Now every pair of trousers I have has a condom in, the draw next to my bed does and the wooden slats under my bed have one in (for houdini style condom appearance lol).

Buy them in bulk, even if its just so you can see the look on the cashiers face when you buy 28 condoms and a pack of beers (be sure to drop "Quiet night in ")

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Hahaha Jaybot, cracking me up Under the bed under the floorboards? Lmao I might have to expose mine so I can hide them there lol.

What's the big deal if you get your hopes up and prepare everything . . . and then you don't get laid? What's the big deal?

Not preparing = you're sure to "lessen" your chances whereas preparing = you will "raise" your chances. Which one do you want?

Jaybot is right but this isn't just about condoms. In your mind, you should KNOW that you're getting laid. You're so sure of this that you don't even need to talk about it. You don't even need to think about it. You just do the routine:

You toss on some fresh sheets(because for some reason, chicks tend to shed a ton of hair while being plowed for 2 hours straight) You don't want other chicks' hair and juices ruining the mood. Then you have to have your refreshments ready. She goes, "I'm thirsty" . . . and you shake up a apple martini. She goes, I'm cold, and you have a blanket to share. You don't wait for her to grab your dick. You just take her hand and put it right on your dick like nothing even happened and give her the look, "You like?"

Women like cock. You do the work for her and she won't let go . .

(Now I know you're a young kid so the martini thing isn't happening but this is your frame . . . all is set cause it's sexy time . . .)