Attractiveness is ALL ATTITUDE.
Physically beautiful people can be terribly unattractive by their behavior. If they are insecure, mean to people, and generally unpleasant to be around, only people who feel they deserve to be treated badly are attracted to them.
We're talking here about appealing to the best in people, for both men and women. I'm sure this girl has had some dude scam her, or say some obnoxious shit to her, or tell her that he loves her and then dump her right after fucking her.
That's some pretty common old-old-school Game.
PUA stuff is a variant on that. Still the same idea. Find ways to sell people on the idea that you are cooler and more confident than you actually are (fake it till you make it). Problem is, it's still all based on what you need to do in order to impress other people instead of living your life based on what makes you happy and satisfied with your actions.
The enduring lesson of The Game should be the part at the end where Neil stops going out to clubs and acting like a weird freak and instead goes surfing and tells a girl he likes that he likes her. Instead, the carry-over effect largely became people reading the stories of socially-uncomfortable dudes like Mystery and TD learning how to change the external appearance, while remaining just as miserable and unsatisfied with their lives, and thinking THAT was a desirable outcome.
I'm happy Mystery got the fame and adulation he seemed to always be seeking, if the book is to be believed. I'm happy that TD has apparently decided to focus on helping men become more naturally confident with themselves.
But it does not explain away the misguided idea that the pursuit of women, and the conquest of women, somehow leads to greater happiness or the respect of people who's respect is worthwhile. I think Hugh Hefner is a genius, and a sad, sad fucker who is STILL trying to make up for his lost adolescence. I think Tommy Lee is a crazy-charismatic entertainer who lost the love of his life and can't pull it back together, despite the fact that he has two sons to set an example for.
I'm not judging them, or anyone else. I've chased women. I've lied to get women in bed. I've worried if other people thought I was cool, and did whatever it took to try to get that approval.
But it all adds up to nothing, nothing, unless you can be truly satisfied with yourself, as a man, WITHOUT the opinions of others.
What if you were totally happy and passionate about everything you do, but you never got laid? Would that be a fair deal? What if I offered you total enlightenment right now, but you had to accept that for the rest of your life, everyone around you would know you are a virgin?
The Game can't just be about getting laid, because to be honest, the best sex most of us will ever have is the orgasm we give ourselves through masturbating. So if it's not about sex and that feeling, than what is it about?
Why chase girls at all?
Or, to steal from Moonstruck, "why do men chase women?"
And the best answer I've ever heard comes from that same movie.
"Because they fear Death."
I know the feeling of trying to make up for lost time, and feeling I was going to run out of time, and god forbid I decided to be happy with just one woman, and really give it a shot, cos what if at that same time a waaaaay hotter girl suddenly shows up?
Chasing girls, ala The Game, is just another version of addicts chasing a high. And no matter how great the drug, highs always wear off, cos they aren't real. They are just glimpses into what COULD be if we did whatever it took to go get it.
It's fun when a girl likes you because you impressed her, right? But then you have to keep doing the stuff you did, and keep impressing her. And god help you if it's stuff you learned from somewhere else that really has nothing to do with who you are, cos you'll run out of material eventually.
Imagine how much more fun it is when a girl LOVES you, for all the things you imagine are cool AND all the things you imagine are weird about you. There is nothing I've found on this earth, no high (and I've checked) that compares to the feeling you get when a beautiful woman totally understands and loves you and gives you her whole heart, her whole pussy, her whole self, and you don't have to DO a thing... except 100% be you.
That's the evil wrought by The Game. It infected us all with the same bullshit idea advertisers have been living off for years: you need to have women who look or act a certain way to get the approval of others, and that approval is the most important thing in the world, and the only way to get it is to fundamentally change who you are.
I posit that none of us needs change. We are all fucking sexy exactly as we are... but only when we are totally stoked and happy and confident in what that is. We all already have charm. It's the fear that what we are is not enough that keeps us afraid and chasing a better answer.
It's not easy to be yourself. It takes real courage, because if you get rejected, then it is about you. But it's the only way to live for real. Everything else is just faking it, and you'll never make it anywhere.
/end tirade.
CHAT
