I disagree with this ideology.
Without quality, quantity means nothing. You're not going to get over a failed marriage with a model by banging 10 wildebeests. period. I know how important it is to have options. I agree with that part. I've done it. The problem is, banging randos is not always the solution, and honestly, it slowly destroys the ability to feel intimate with others. I don't know about you in particular, but I have friends that are MAJOR players. They pull tail like a tugboat pulls ships. They are also completely incapable of maintaining a serious exclusive relationship for more than a month or two. I'm definitely not there yet, but even at my early stage, I can feel the slide starting in that direction. Everything just goes down the shitter, because they have become so set in the mindset of "I'm a player I can do what I want", that no self respecting woman is willing to commit to someone with that attitude. It's one thing to be the man in the relationship and not let yourself be controlled/disrespected, but PUA teaches us to treat it all like a game.. Like many others have said, it works just fine as a game to get sex, but it won't land you healthy exclusive LTRs. I find that getting over a girl takes time, and finding another quality girl that you're actually interested in. Sleeping around in the interim works, but it won't fill a void left by a serious meaningful relationship. Only time, and/or a quality girl/new relationship can fix it.

And lets be real. The kind of player you are describing, doesn't exist. The options you claim hot women have? You would have just as many options, even as an AFC. But guess what. Those options, SUCK. Just like your options will if you're working on 100 girls at once. I've dated girls that were science majors. Decent looking girls (HB7+). They had HUNDREDS of options. Total losers and neck beards chasing after them. Guess what? I was in my own league, and the girls knew this. At the end of the day, they could have called one of hundreds of numbers, but they ignored them all and called me. Their options meant nothing, and gave them no power over me, because they didn't measure up, and none of their options included guys that were above me (I'm not elvis presley, but I'm no chump off the street either). Even so, I kept no other options in the wings at that time (like, at all). I was too busy with school and had no time to dedicate to gaming/socializing. As long as inner game is strong, consolation options are unnecessary. Your HB 7s won't give you any power over the girl you really want; the perfect 10, or maybe just the HB8 that stands out above the rest. You can keep more options than your phone book has room for, you can sleep around with all the other girls until your dick falls off, but deep down inside, you will always want the best one on your radar, and with her, all your other options are just a consolation. It becomes an epic chess game and battle of wits, and if you measure up, and play carefully, you can win. By all means, keep your backup(s) in the wings, but if you play a field of 100 girls, you will never have the time to win that game against the 10. If you lose (I've lost before too, several times), you get your shit together, console yourself with the backup, and move to the next one. Such is life. If you want to keep an HB 10 interested in anything beyond spur of the moment sex, or a fling, you will have to measure up in life, and you have to put in the time, or game will only buy you time before the dump. At the end of the day, anything beyond just an f-close, is all ladder theory. You shoot at your level, and if you shoot higher, you'll get shat on from above. You have to have money, personality, intelligence, status, and looks for a 10. Just one of those won't cut it. HB10s don't marry gremlins, or fun exciting guys, or even good looking guys, unless the gremlin/ fun man/hot man happens to have a bank account bursting at the seams, fame, or something that really sets him above the rest. A fancy hat and a mysterious attitude gets old when there's nothing else.
The truth is, you cannot have any girl you want for yourself. You can have a girl in your league, or below your league. Your bark has to match your bite. Just acting gung ho and overly confident will work great for a girl a little above your league, for an f-close, but if you're a kid from the trailer park with a ripped wife beater, and missing teeth, no amount of game or confidence in this world will get you the HB10 in to bed, much less a relationship. If you want hotter women, work on your body/career/ideas/life. Once you taste succes, the inner game and the HBs will follow.
I conclude my rant with these words of wisdom by Jimmy Soul:
"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you"

It is more effective to achieve quality by being in touch with your current level of attraction, and building up quantity first. Once you have quantity, your standards will naturally rise and the next women you meet will be of higher quality.

I do not emphasize "banging" ten randos. I emphasize finding ten. If your relationship was purely sexual, then fill that sexual need with ten women instead of being needy for the next one. If the need is emotional, fill it with ten women instead of being dependent on the one.

Onitis - the infection of the one.

I do have many meaningful relationships with women. I am friends with all of them. Some of them I sleep or have slept with. Sex and monogamy are not determining factors in a relationship. If a woman says "I will only sleep with you if we are monogamous," then we will simply not have sex with each other. I am not going to sacrifice my sexual freedom for the sake of having sex with one person, and if that means that she will not have a meaningful relationship with me because of that then it is she that has objectified me.


I am also not talking about any kind of player. I am not a player. I am open about my intention from the very start.

Your theory is warped about shooting for tens. I am a poor mentally-ill, three time college dropout carnie with a giant schnoz who lives with his parents at the age of 27. Some of the women I date or have dated were bartenders, strippers, models, lesbians, college professors, successful entrepreneurs, yoga instructors, published authors...etc.

I am just a guy. I do what I do. They are Just women. They do what they do. They are beautiful...so what. What about that? Do they think they can treat people differently because they hit the genetic lottery? Do I want to be with a person who thinks that way?

It isn't a game. There is reality behind the gimmick. I date women who are naturally more attractive than I am, on the surface. Deep down we are all human. We all take a shit. We all bleed. So some girl is a super ten at the club and she's all done up in crazy make up? Obviously she is not secure with herself enough to just go out and be herself. She has to put all of this stuff on so she can feel more beautiful than the other girls. That's obviously important to her for the night. Do I have to find that attractive and treat her any better because of that? Is she more deserving of a meaningful relationship with me because she is superficially beautiful?

Am I manipulative and deceitful if this is something I have put great effort into changing about myself? Does that make me a player? Does the fact that I am currently not monogamous mean that I don't care about the women I date?


I don't know where you are getting your information about me and other men in the community. It seems like you read the game and think everyone here is a Mystery impersonator, spewing out lines to bed women. That's not why we are here. This isn't an Amway meeting or a Hitler Youth rally.

Keep your negative comments to yourself. If you have all the answers you wouldn't be here writing about your sad ending of your monogamous relationship with a girl who find no other reason to talk to because she is no longer having sex with you.

Be more hesitant to point the finger and judge us. You actually don't know everyone in here.

Negativity is a waste of time. If you need to change yourself then do so. If you wish to add value to the community then do so. If you wish to say how certain things are wrong, then offer an alternative. But do not spread the lie that anything other than time in your life has limitation.

Spread Love. I will be back from carnie-land in two weeks.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

I am really understanding the need for GFTOW in my life. I was just involved with someone, and its full on oneitis. I made every AFC mistake there is along the way and scared her off. Its not fun when you realize that everything you thought you knew, everything out there in our society and media about how women want to be treated is just so much bullshit. The recovery process has begun and I have learned so much from these forums. I'm in the RAFC stages of working on talking to and meeting as many different girls as possible. I haven't really found any that I am interested in dating, but its a good feeling when you can make a pretty girl smile and you realize your life isn't over just because there is one girl I can't have out of millions. Take it from a RAFC, the idea of GFTOW is literally a life saver.

Unfortunately, I do see way too many mystery impersonators these days. Wearing a scarf and a fedora turned in to the unofficial PUA uniform, and there are armies of guys that really do think that spewing out some memorized lines will get them women in bed. I never said anything specific about you.
First off, you went off straight to an ad-hominem. "You're a loser because your relationship failed, and you can't even stand to be her bitch after she got rid of you".
If NASA had all the answers, they wouldn't have lost two space shuttles. Yet at the end of the day, they're the best around, I'd trust them with my life. Now I'm no NASA, and my relationship ended, and sure, it blows. But I have had relationships end before, and I will have relationships end in the future. I bite the bullet, and I move on. There is no moving on until the person is gone from your life. Saying "we're broken up but we can still be friends" is like saying "honey, the dog died but you can keep it anyway". I don't do that. I'm under no obligation to do anything for anyone who is not my family or a close trusted friend. If someone who is not my family or a good friend doesn't give me what I want, I'm under no obligation to give them what they want. That doesn't make me an asshole, that makes me someone who looks after himself.
I don't claim to know everyone here. I didn't even judge your, extremely so to say, non-standard views on relationships. Do what you'd like. I see you judging my purported oneitis much more.
Without negativity there would be no success. If cars didn't have brakes, everyone would die. I offered very clear, very detailed alternatives. You chase to disregard them as oneitis.

As someone who has a degree in hard science, and as someone who loves extreme sports, I will tell you this very moment, that EVERYTHING in life has limitations. And if you disregard those limitations, it can cost you dearly. Now I don't know you or your life, but if you truly believe this, then in my opinion you simply haven't raised the stakes to be high enough to have had to deal with consequences. I have nearly lost my life on multiple occasions, from simple oversights, and paid with broken bones, concussions, and frostbite. Life is about opportunities, risk, reward, and limitations.
Spread love is a road leading nowhere. This world is a dog race, and if you genuinely believe that you're not a dog but a kitten, you'll get torn apart by the pit bulls. Spread love to your friends and family.They are the ones you should stand by. They are the ones that will stand by you. Not strangers.

It seems like you have all the answers. If you have a hard science degree you would know that you can go about life doing the same thing, and it will always give you the same thing. You can chance the anomaly all you want.

Monogamy is not necessary from a male perspective, until child-bearing. Use condoms and you won't have to stay with one girl and do the pill routine to get raw pussy. Save that for when it makes sense.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

I don't have all the answers dude. I'm also not out to demolish you and your choices. You've been civil in this debate and I will be likewise. I think seeing multiple people is just fine, I've done it, and when I'm not in a relationship I always revert to that mode. Monogamy can work too though. Of course its not necessary. I'm not saying it is, its just a personal choice for some. Personally I despise condoms, but I've never slept with a "stranger" without using one, so for me, a GF on the pill is much nicer as far as sex goes.

Good points zmbcm1

My father always said "Fuck as many 10's as you can, but marry a 7"


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Great post. Im posting here so its here if I look for it.

_________________
I am who I think I am, and who I am, I am because I think I am who I am= Your thoughts define your actions and your life.

thought id give this a bump