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I would describe myself as someone who is fairly good looking, smart and quite successful in every aspect of my life. I have a promising future, with great friends and amazing girls around me. However, I could also describe myself as someone who is egoist, narcissist, mean (most of the time) and aggressive.
For some reason that I am not aware of, I have very little patience and it is incredibly easy for me to dislike people. It can be because of the way they carry themselves, the way they talk or look but also for simple things like talking with a group of friends in the stairs on a venue where many people pass by.
When using the metro, I walk in a direction and if I see someone comming in my direction, I will do absolutely no effort to avoid running into that person. If these people, who are always smaller, see me and don't try to avoid running into me, I don't see why I should. Natural selection. I am also rude and blunt with most people I meet, and sometimes secretly wishing to pick fights. Thanks god I train 5 times a week to get rid of some aggressiveness.. Or it would be worst.
I am also a closed-minded person. I don't like to interract with stangers and I don't if I don't have an end goal. I don't see why I should listen to people I don't care about talk about themselves If I don't have anything to gain from this situation. Of course, I cold approach girls but I have a goal in mind, I do it to fuck them or gain experience.
I don't help strangers, and if I do, I usually do it in order to get reconnaissance from other people, which still makes me an egoist.
I realize that I am a bad person, most of you would probably call me an asshole. Worse part is that I probably woulnt give a shit and tell you to fuck off.
Still, I am wondering if ready a book on inner game could be beneficial for me since I am aware that my view on the rest of the world is messed up.
As a fellow MAer, you sound scared. (I know it might hurt to hear that)
You are aware that there is something strange in living your life competitively 24/7. The fact that you are posting about being confrontational shows that you're not dumb, you know something is up with that. Maybe some personal time reflecting on your aggression is worthwhile, or just making a conscious effort to try and not assess other people as threats until that behaviour subsides and is replaced with something a bit healthier or "balanced"?
Hope you figure something out. Sorry I couldn't of been more helpful!
