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I read a lot of posts stating "when should I use direct game, when should I use indirect game. The fact of the matter their is no set or specific time to use either, it all depends on your target and current settings.
If I were to suggest one or the other, I would suggest indirect, as with indirect you can always still have the option to become direct, especially after some sort of comfort is established. But! if you crash and burn with direct, you are generally blown out and most likely will not be able to recover.
The idea behind this is, generally any approach is in essence a direct approach. Our body language usually dictates our physical interest. When men approach a good looking woman his attraction is usually implied( unconsciously) therefore there really isn't a need to be ultra direct.
As long as you imply your interest through out your conversation( conscious) it will have the same effect, but this way, you allow the woman more time to gauge you and come to terms with whether or not you are a creep or if she has interest, or that you jumped through her conscious self created hoops.
You also allow yourself the opportunity to change her initial perception. I have heard many women tell me after a seduction that at first they weren't really attracted to me, but after talking and laughing, etc etc, they became attracted, none of this would of been possible or at least much harder, if I went in ultra direct. This can also work in reverse, women love to hear that you find them more attractive now that you got to know them better, you can sometimes act as though you had no direct intentions until they intrigued you and now you are overwhelmingly attracted to them. This tends to give a woman a form of self validation and shows your attraction is not just skin deep.
Women have an automatic defense no matter how smooth or good looking you are. It's generally trained into their conscious minds, usually the better looking she is the more prevalent it is. Some call this a bitch shield. If you get good at interpreting body language, none of that matters as if they are interested, you will see it through their physical mannerisms. And if you are good enough can most likely be able to break through the Bitch shield, However! The majority of men are not good at reading the signs, therefore its best to stay indirect, with the intentions of progressing and becoming direct.
In my opinion the only real time to use direct game is if you already have social value, for example at a house party where you know the majority of people there, or within your social circle when there is friends of friends, etc etc. Any situation where you are sought out. If you are being approached by a woman, you can be direct, if you have already observed IOI's or essentially making a warm approach, you can be direct. If it's quite obvious the girl has interest in you, be direct.
In short, from my experience, it's best to open indirect with direct intentions.
addict, i hear you. it's very good advice. here's a situation that threw me off a bit though along those lines.
yesterday, getting on the train. HB9.5 looking at me. i walked by. stared a hole in my back. followed me to the department i went, brought back the suitcase. put it next to me. returned to her seat. walked past me again several times, then again to get on the phone, was acting like i did not really notice.
obvious she wants me to approach like.
i went out to talk on the phone. we both finish about the same time. she hangs about. asked her where she was from (no opinion opener or some canned shit) told her where i was from (i could tell we were from the same region).
got the most half-hearted response i ever heard. not rude, but
implying extreem disinterest by tonality. did not bother and went back to my seat. don't waste time on that shit. was it a hit test or a genuine response? i don't take it as a shit test, but just a clear IOD. what you think?
in your experience, did i misread her IOIs? almost impossible. don't care, but my goal is to have fun and learn. analyzed a bit.
would have been wiser to use a neg opener (HB 9.5), not follow her outside, may have come off needy. then again, blabbering something at her in front of a quiet train croud seemed off. the first time i was totally off on reading an HB.
maybe i'm just connecting everything to me but she was having a bad day or whatever.
what do you think?
In this situation it's hard to give you a definitive answer, as I could not bare witness to her mannerisms. BUT! based on your comments, I'd have to agree with the above posters Skills360 and Poeticlyskuac. You were too hesitant, you waited to long and showed a lack of confidence when you finally did approach.
In the future, you still could have made it a successful approach outside when you did approach, but by this time you would should have engaged her in a different manner.
Mistake # 1: You opened too personally, "where are you from" this can be very personal if the person is from a country, or area that is somewhat controversial ie: poor area, racial, religious or politically charged. It also came off more like an interview rather then a genuine comment.
Because of your hesitance to approach, it would of been in your best interest to bring up an observation. Something that seemed to intrigue you enough to approach, and that would have been congruent with your unconscious interactions with her prior.
What you should of done when you did finally approach is made an observation, something like. Hey there, my name is X I couldn't help but notice you have a very unique style, even something in the way you walk, its quite unique. It kind of reminds me of the stylish women in my home town, country, etc etc. I am from X Are you familiar with that area, country, city and culture?
This observation would of in a sense, justified your hesitancy and made it seem you are only approaching now after making all of those observations and being triggered to approach.
Mistake # 2 When she did show resistance with her tonality, you should of remained confident and continued, walking away after her first reaction did in fact verify your lack of confidence. In a sense she was probably expecting you to walk away based on your hesitance prior. Sticking around and persisting may have worked for you in this case. In fact, at that point, you could of switched to direct, since you were basically already getting blown out, you may as well of shown your physical interest, at this point you really had nothing to lose.
After her initial response, a strong statement like, Ok I really didn't want to know where you are from. The fact of the matter is I saw you on the train, I was completely overwhelmed by you from the way you walked to how beautiful your eyes are. I don't generally approach beautiful women that's why it took so long, but there is something about you. I just couldn't resist. My name is X.
If she still showed attitude after that, then you could of walked away. The point here is that you would still have walked away feeling the same as you did but at this point you would have at least put your cards on the table.
Something to keep positive about all of this is, even though you may have made some mistakes, the fact of the matter is you still made an approach, and for that I commend you. Don't look down on yourself for this, rather use it as a learning experience and keep going.
In the future, if a woman floats around your orbit like this, interact with her immediately, you dont have to flat out say something right away, but you can always make some small gestures, a little smirk, smile, eye contact, anything that gets you into her mind and shows some sort of interest. You can have an unconscious conversation as easily as a conscious one if you do it right.
There is a fine line between, playing the game and stalking. The difference being, if you got into her head, all the rest is part of the game. If you haven't got into her head, you become the cute guy that is staring at her and following her. ( potential creep)
CHAT
