Assuming that it doesn't come from a position of neediness or desperation, does a man's expression of pure and uninhibited desire for the woman he is interacting with emotionally transfer to her own feelings, causing her to essentially feel the same way about him? The chapter about "The Rake" in Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction seems to suggest something like this, as does the teachings of Zan Perrion. The way I'm understanding this concept is that "direct game," or a man expressing his own sexual desire and intent, flips a certain attraction switch in a woman that causes her to desire him, too. Am I on the right track here?

Yes. If a man expresses absolute uninhibited desire for the women he's interacting... it makes us feel swept away. However, this (in my opinion) can ONLY happen after some other attraction switch/value/whatever you want to call it is there first.

When I was at the bar last week, I met an older man who conveyed his interest very plainly, and it was unattractive. He would say, "You should be a model. You're just the prettiest thing I've ever seen." And it made me uncomfortable because I'm 5'4. I'm not nor never will be a model. And he wouldn't shut up about it. Not fun.

However, when I was playing pool with new friends (met that night) and a certain gentleman was outrageously direct with his intentions and uninhibited desire for me, it started to get me fantasizing about it as well. I probably let him touch me a bit more than I normally would allow. I wanted him to touch me. It was comfortable and sexy.

He started off by just coming up behind and putting his arm around my neck in kind of a buddy hug while I was talking to another girl. My immediate reaction was to hook my hands on his arm on either side of his elbow (the arm around my neck.) Now, he also had his entire body pressed against my backside, so it was clearly not innocent. I found myself absolutely fine and even willing to mirror his physical interest (not completely, but more than I usually deem appropriate for my specific brand of girl game.)

Does that help? Basically, my answer is yes but only if bla bla bla.

_________________
- Zip

hay shawtayyy

EDIT: Serious research time. Do you think you can attribute your response as a reaction to his desire that made you feel "swept away" and therefore more sexually attracted to him, or do you think it was more of a reaction to his confidence that flipped that general attraction switch? I'd imagine this question to be difficult to answer since you were pretty much in trance, but I'm trying to separate the variables as much as I can here so I can know where to attribute these effects.

Zip somehow your avatars always have the same face...do u draw them or something cuz they pretty good!

Chief found this site http://www.faceyourmanga.com/

It's where I create the avatars. I think they're fabulous. Go get one!

_________________
- Zip

I'm going to try to answer this, but I'm not far enough removed from the incident to be as impartial as I can be...

It was not even conscious. It wasn't a choice. It was this sudden burst of physical and emotional attention and desire expressed after a long period of the night where there was a break in rapport.

That moment where he was absolutely clear about his intentions was the only moment where I was thinking about him in that way. Very interesting because I'm definitely not looking for a man right now.

_________________
- Zip

Hey Zip. Thanks for all the help.

Ok, so I have a good girlfriend who I've known for like 15 years (we dated in 6th grade ). She told me a while ago she is still a virgin. She is 24. We lost touch for a few years when I left for college, but for the past year or so, we've been hanging out as friends when I make it back home to visit. We chat over the internet back and forth occasionally and I've steered it slightly sexual from time to time, but its always in that "friend" sort of way. Playful or whatever, but then switch to sincere, pretty much cus I DO want the low down!

So... I am the front-runner basically. Shes kinda hints at the type of guy she wants to do it with (my type), but its her first time! I feel bad for her cus she thinks about it ALL the time,. Its becoming obsessive. so in a way, i want to help; she is my friend and I care about her. If it wasnt such a big deal to her, hooking up with her wouldnt be a prob. She needs to get over this.... speedbump(?) tho. But part of me is like "No Way Man! That has Pandora written all over it!" I had a serious relationship with one of her best friends in hs, 2 years. That girl however is engaged to some other dude, the guy she dated after me.

The gossip concerns me way less than the friendship that would take place after the thing. Also, i dont think I can be honest with her about the number of girls I've been with. She wouldn't like that... What do you think??? She definitely needs to get laid. But she has this outrageous criteria, I understand cus its her first time, but the girl needs ass! Should I? She is depriving herself or normal sexual experiences, she is almost 25!

_________________
Make Moves

Swoop

What does it mean when my girlfriend says she wantes her space?In my book that means she wants to see other guys..

you are being too needy or too clingy. she is starting to become less attracted. she may want to see other guys, but she may not.

Usually, when you are in a relationship that is past the "honeymoon" lovey-dovey period (the beginning,) things start to even out and plateau. There is a theory called the Rubber Band Effect that comes into play. Usually... the female starts to cling to the man, and the man pulls away. If the female continues to become too clingy as the man is pulling away... the man pulls farther away and the relationship becomes toxic or fails. However, if the girl gives the man a little space, he will snap back like a rubber band.

It works both ways though. Sometimes, the man becomes too clingy and the girl pulls away. If you give her the space she needs, either she will snap back and be a great partner, or she will run off. Let her. You don't need someone who isn't completely attracted to you anyway. Give her space, become a more interesting person, develop some more hobbies, gain some social proof, hang out with some female friends to spark some jealousy.... and she'll become re-attracted to you.

_________________
- Zip

Hi Zip, I've got a quick question for you as i'd like a female opinion

Im in a relationship at the moment, i've been with my GF for a month today. Been seeing her for a long while like Jan/Feb time we started getting closer.

I've got a few issues that I've tried to deal with myself but I just am at wits end! Really starting to irritate and sometimes get me down I'm 17 and shes a year below me shes 16, shes not a virgin either, shes not had a BF for about a year or so and her last BF had a car. We haven't had sex yet its not really been possible as you will see when you read on..

Basically I hardly see her that often, maybe once a week if im lucky, sometimes more, she lives about a 30 min walk from me and literally 2 mins in the car but im not driving yet Sad.

Now whats getting to me is that she'll send me a text every now and again with a love you at the end (i hardly ever do because i believe that if i say it all the time then she'll take it for granted but if she says it i'll say it back) and she always seems to want to text me or ring me so I get all the right messages but its like she NEVER makes the effort to meet me. Like this week being a exception i said i'd come and see her on wednesday night and she told me she wanted to go jogging with her friend, she'd been jogging with her friend on monday night and tuesday night. Usually if i say come meet me she will. But she'll never say something like "come over tonight i want to see you or watch a film with you" for once i'd like her to say come over and see me or something.

I've confronted her once about making these stupid excuses and not making the effort, basically i just talked to her about it and she rather avoided it.

Shes got time to see her friends and go camping with her friends like she is on saturday night but not the time to spend with me? I mean I would pick my friends over spending time with her but she hasn't even offered to do somthing with me?!

I want to put a stop to this.. should I hint that I loved the fact that my ex girlfriend used to suggest things like watching a film at her place? Should I turn round and threaten to finish the relationship if she doesnt start making an effort? Should I neg her? I really just don't have a clue what to do... SPAM I feel like finishing it but I don't want to because we could be so good together.

Is it too early in the relationship?

If you need any further info i'll be happy to tell you just ask

That avatar website is awesome! I noticed a bunch of those around the site and was wondering where everyone got them. I'm definitely making one.

Anyway, what do you think is the best way to manage the rubber band effect when you're in a relationship with a guy? It seems like you'd have a lot of insight into this. I'm pretty young (21), so I date a lot but don't do relationships often. I usually just bail after the honeymoon phase is over. I'm a couple months in right now, and everything is smooth sailing. I just don't have a lot of experience maintaining that balance over time. Thanks!

I second this question

Hey everyone, there's something wrong technically with this thread: let me get it worked out.

Hobbit- Blonde pretty actress from NYC? She sounds crazy to me. Definitely buy her a present.

_________________
- Zip

My question is .....can you summarize in one paragraph your 77 posts pages into one grand finale answer to the meaning of life?....or just summarize it. Just for fun.

_________________
The hotter they are, the harder they fall....for me.

(emphasis mine)

42. Duh.

_________________
Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea